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Does Kim Kardashian Know About This?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

How Tampa Bay Shenanigans Affected the Trade Deadline
Oh, those pesky Hickeys. Seems as if Tampa Bay pitching coach Jim Hickey was involved in some horseplay — specifically, "wrestling, in a way" — which landed pitcher Grant Balfour on the 4-to-6-week shelf with a left rib strain....

Hockey Goon Wants to "Change the World"
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Kerry Wood to the Yankees? Kerry Wood to the Yankees.
The Yankees will get Kerry Wood from the Indians, agreeing to pay about $1.5 million of the $3.6 million left on Wood’s contract. [SI.com] Wood was activated from the DL today. Mark Prior wasn’t. Brian Hickey cried while typing that. Joba Chamberlain cried while reading it....

World's Best Soccer Player Forms Universe's Worst Bro-Band Tribute Band
It was looking good for futbol to get some American respect. It's looking less good today....

Floyd Mayweather + Don King + Las Vegas = Pictures of Cash Money
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...

Deadspin Classic: Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
In the summer of 2010, the World Cup captured the attention of this humble sports blog and it was only a matter of time before the Internet produced the perfect viral video to celebrate the event....

Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure: TRANNY EDITION!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Raul Ibanez's Hitting Makes Another Philly Fan Cry
But this time it's tears of joy for a girl who caught his home run ball, not tears of "we're paying him how much next year?"...

Tan, Large-Breasted Brazilian Runs On The Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Female Kickboxer Is Killed At Sloppily Organized Tournament
Sunday in Orlando, Lindsay Scheer fought Adrienne Simmons in the Muay Thai lightweight women's final of the International Kickboxing Federation National Amateur Tournament. The two women were not evenly matched. Lindsay Scheer won the fight. Adrienne Simmons died....

Jack Tatum Wasn't A Good Person, Says Steve Grogan
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: former Patriots Super Bowl losing quarterback Steve Grogan....

Sir, You Cannot Wear That LeBron Jersey In Cleveland Unless You Go Through The Proper Editorial Process
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Chad Ochocinco Might Have Disproportionate Expectations For This Season
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco....

I-Report: Startling Developments In The Case Of Jeff Samardzija's Baseball Reference Page Sponsor
In April, the I-Team was dispatched to find out as much as possible about Jeff Samardzija's Daytona days. One goal was to discover the identity of "Bootstraps the Bussie," judgmental sponsor of The Shark's* Baseball Reference page. Now, a twist!...

MLB Will Meddle In Local Politics, Pay City Government To Get What They Want
Baseball wants to get a referendum on an Athletics' San Jose stadium off of the November ballot, because it might not pass. To do so, they're willing to pay the city to hold a special election in the spring. Shady business, Bud....

A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....

Last Night's Winner: Cum Husks?
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the wholly baffling sign at last night's Phillies game, which has the Internet abuzz with speculation....

Fan Vomits At Phillies Game: The Sequel
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....