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The Commodification Of Tiger Woods's Whoring Continues Apace
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Seattleites Find Bango The Buck's Ladder Stunt A Bit Derivative
Two-plus years ago, Squatch, ex-Seattle Supersonics mascot, pulled off the same stunt that has made Bango the Buck a minor celebrity — off an even-higher ladder. It's so like Seattle to point out they've been doing something longer....

Mindy McCready's Forbidden, Goofy Love For Roger Clemens
Her lawyers say she was too whacked out to realize she signed-off on "Baseball Mistress (NSFW)", but, nonetheless, I still find her woozy interview about her puppy love with Roger Clemens mesmerizing....

Wince-Inducing Story Of The Day: Miguel Olivo Has A Urethra Of Steel
The Rockies catcher passed a kidney stone during a recent game against the Diamondbacks, then he threw his gear back on and later singled. "I can handle pain a little bit," he said. "Let's play baseball." [Last Angry Fan]...

Henrik Lundqvist, Possibly Making It With A Swedish Princess
After calling off her wedding to her cheating fiancé, Princess Madeleine of Sweden has fled to New York — and the arms of the Rangers goalie, speculate the Scandinavian tabloids. [NYDN]...

Last Night's Winner: Les Habitants (Of Their Mothers' Basements)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Poindexters and figure filberts who knew all along that the roundly dismissed Canadiens were dangerous....

"Balzer" Girl Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Bango The Buck's First Post-Ladder-Dunk Interview
Fresh off his monumental feat during Game 4, Bango the Buck sat down with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel's Don Walker to discuss the dunk, his training, his fears, and his hopes for the future. Highlights inside....

What It's Like To Eat Dinner With Bill Murray
So, either your letters have been answered or you're Wes Anderson: How do you navigate the minefield of social norms and potential faux pas and handle dinner with Bill Murray? New York Magazine's Jada Yuan lays it all out....

Padres Prospects Display Plus-Plus Nerf-Hoops Acumen
H/T Theodore Donald Kerabatsos for the link and Matt for the embed code....

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Listen In As Chris Cooley Gets Pulled Over While On The Phone With Radio Show
Cooley, while talking with DC's Sports Junkies on WJFK-FM, was pulled over by a cop this morning for going too wide around a corner. Pro athletes: They're just like us! (Only they manage to wriggle out of their moving violations.) [WashPost; audio]...

Horndogs! Take the Gawker Media Census 2010
Last Census go-around, we found that 78% of Deadspin readers have sex regularly (congrats) and 39% fly for pleasure only, leaving us to deduce that a decent portion of you are Mile High Club members. Surely you've got 10 minutes before your flight leaves to share your media predilections....

Innocent D-Backs Caught In Immigration Debate
Dave Zirin, professional contrarian, has sworn never to write about the Diamondbacks while Arizona's controversial immigration law exists. Funny, we never needed an excuse to not write about the D-Backs. Now go start flaming our comments section. [Edge of Sports]...

Bango The Mascot Ascends Ladder As Deer, Descends As Deer-Man
Bango, the Bucks' mascot, is one of the best performers in the mascot ranks. Last night he proved it. During the biggest game of the year, Bango flipped off a ladder, dunked, and somehow managed not to die. [Vegas Plays]...

Bobby V Comes Out Of The Closet As Someone Who Doesn't Quite Understand The Closet Metaphor
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Vomiting Phillies Fan's Uncle Would Like Us To Do...Something
Ever since we've started covering the story of Matthew Clemmens, best known for allegedly vomiting on an 11-year old girl, and rocking "Material Girl" at karaoke, his uncle has been pestering us about...well, we're not really sure what he wants....

Today In Bullshit Excuses: Ben Roethlisberger's Anti-Social Behavior Caused By Concussions
"It's conceivable to think that there is a possibility that those concussions have led to some behavioral issues. The question I pose is simple: Can someone with several chronic or repetitive head injuries later display behavior that is socially undesirable? [PittsburghTribune/SBB]...

Manny Ramirez Heroically Shops For Discount Electronics On Injured Calf
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

So You Will Be Able To See The Giants And Jets After All
"What a bunch of blockheads!" You said it New York Post....