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Only Peyton Could Make A Badass Visor Look Goofy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Germany Being Overrun By Radioactive Boars
Twenty-five years after Chernobyl, German scientists are finding that more and more of the country's skyrocketing boar population is radioactive. The Russian payback for WWII will never end. [Der Spiegel, via]...
Can Statistics Prove Once And For All Who Used Steroids?
Two labor economists released a study showing an increase in power numbers by Canseco's teammates which abruptly stopped when MLB instituted random steroid testing. Unfortunately, it also predicts another cycle of "I Guess We Have To Listen To Jose Canseco" talk. [Slate]...
Utah's Ban On Beer Sales Forces Baseball Team To Fold
The independent St. George RoadRunners ceased operations this week, with the owner citing the absence of beer at the ballpark as the critical factor. You try watching semi-pro ball, in the desert, surrounded by Mormons, and do it sober. [Deseret News]...
Philly Fans: Kevin Kolb Wants To Hear Your Boos
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Philadelphia Eagles shiny and new starting QB Kevin Kolb....
Serial Semen Squirter Finally Behind Bars
Michael Edwards Jr. is accused of spraying Gaithersburg, Md., shoppers with semen from a bottle. Police say there are other victims out there, and they're unsure of where the semen came from. Carl Monday warned us, people. [WaPo]...
John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...
State Senator Wants To Bring Sports Betting To The Golden State
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: California state senator and unconfirmed degenerate gambler Roderick Wright....
Reporter Interviewing An Ice Sculptor? What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
The world would be a far worse place if it weren't for the heroes committing gaffes on local newscasts. Whether they're advocating continued fowl fornicating or digging into whether penis is being enjoyed or not, they light up our lives....
In Defense Of Female Objectification
Oooh, loogit! We got letters! And here they are:...
American Footballer’s Soccer-Themed Touchdown Celebration
It was a toss up for the final video treat of the day - between the above, and a rendition of "Fire" by Kasabian, now that it's been unveiled as the official football song for the coming season....
X-Games Flasher, Large Photo Make For R-Rated Where's Waldo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Phillie Phanatic Immortalized As Art, Promptly Vandalized
Not all of Philadelphia has Phillies Phever. Two men were arrested for assaulting a 6-foot, 100-lb sculpture of the Phanatic. His prehensile tongue offered pathetically little defense....
Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....
Mike Tyson Did <em>The Hangover</em> For Drug Money
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mike Tyson....
Intern Horrors: The Republican Party Makes You Puke
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature where interns tell their saddest and most embarrassing tales of incompetence or incontinence. Today: the perils of campaign canvassing, wrecking the "Country Cruiser," and The Great Poop Duel Of Several Years Ago. Misdirecting Headline Warning!...
Cheez Doodle Inventor Mourned By One Solitary Sportswriter
The inventor of the Cheez Doodle died last week. Stephen A. Smith was seen laying a single orange rose on his grave....
Here's Karen Sypher, Seconds Away From Blowing Her Lawyer
Sypher's former lawyer Dana Kolter testified that they had an "intimate relationship" before he threatened to sue Rick Pitino as part of her extortion plan. Jurors were then shown photographs of Sypher and Kolter engaging in oral sex....
Grounds Crew Sets Fire To Baseball Field To Dry It
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a phrase that doesn't bode well. But rarely has there been so obviously not a good idea as burning a baseball field with diesel fuel to dry it out after it rains....