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America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....

Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...

Australian Cricket Player Stripped Of "Father Of The Year" Crown
The state of Victoria has rescinded Australian cricket legend Dean Jones's 2007 Father of the Year award after details of a nine-year affair with an "air hostess" surfaced. What sort of details, you say? Why a lovechild of course....

This Is Not Pete Rose's Corked Bat
MLB's all-time hits leader, who's not allowed to step foot into Cooperstown because he's an awful human being, keeps popping up places with his girlfriend — "the Pamela Anderson of Korea" — to show her off to people. [MyFoxNY]...

Someone Just Told Julio Borbon He Has To Spend 14 Innings In Detroit
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

<em>Major League</em> Manager Dies
James Gammon—the manager from Major League and a lot of other stuff—died over the weekend after a long battle with cancer. Everybody smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds and talk like him in his honor. [Backstage]...

Intern Horrors: Canadians! Canadians Everywhere! Canadians As Far As The Eye Can See!
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns past and present write in with their tales of low-to-no-pay woe. This week: Canadians! Canadians in publishing, Canadians in finance — you name it, Canadians are interning in that field....

Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a home in Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns." [Pioneer Press](via DCarr)...

<em>Inception</em> Was Great, Now Please Stop Talking About It, Assholes
I went and saw Inception on Friday night. I like any movie that includes mid-air hand-to-hand combat and Marion Cotillard's cleavage. But it's clear this movie is about to supplant "Lost" for annoying fanboy overanalysis....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: J.J. Redick, Duke University
Although this isn't technically what we're looking for, it's still pretty great to revisit Redick's batch of "poetry" which Sports Illustrated wisely published in earnest. The boy likes to rhyme....

Dwyane Wade's World Trade Center Reference And Other Great Moments In 9/11 Sports Analogies
Dwyane Wade's questionable World Trade Center reference he gave to Fanhouse briefly set off hyper-sensitivity alarms everywhere, but it wasn't even that awful compared to some of the other ones we've seen recently....

Tour De France Rider Has Unrealistic Sportsmanship Expectations
Alberto Contador took the yellow jersey from Andy Schleck in today's Pyrenees stage. Noteworthy is the fact that Schleck is pissed that Contador — and the rest of the field — didn't stop and wait for him while he fixed his bike....

Incredibly Fun Video Of A Fireworks Mishap At A Minor League Baseball Game
Everyone loves a good minor league baseball fireworks show. Unfortunately, whether you've bused in a group of epileptics or not, these things just don't go according to plan....

Zab Judah Meets The Polish Posse: Everybody Needs An Entourage
NEWARK — Upon arriving at the Prudential Center here last Friday night for a boxing match, I was greeted by an unboxinglike sight: dozens of fans clad in identical t-shirts and matching red and white scarves, pouring off a white chartered bus....

This Cubs Shirt Got These Kids Laid
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

With No Further Ado, Buzz Bissinger Challenges Andy Reid as a Coach and Father (But Mostly as a Father)
When Buzz Bissinger smells blood, Buzz Bissinger attacks. You know this already. I just dig how it makes for quality after-school-rumble 140-character entertainment like it did today, when his old/new paper (the Philadelphia Inquirer) ran an above-the-A1-fold piece on how difficult having a couple ...

Sheppard, Steinbrenner, (not) Berra
Woe was the New York Yankees website associate tasked with with writing the "Berra misses Old-Timer's Day after fall" release today after a week of franchise death notices....

Buy Anna Kournikova For 15 Minutes
Add the Philadelphia Freedoms professional tennis team to the "Needs to Re-learn How Liam Neeson Reacts to Human Trafficking" list....

Hot New Trend Sweeping Through Suburban Chicago: Beating The Crap Out Of Mascots
Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the northwest suburbs of Chicago—is to beat up a mascot at an amusement park. Random assault fever—catch it!...

In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....