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Chad Ochocinco Is Looking For A Classy Broad
On his reality dating show: "I don't have nobody to cook for me. I don't have nobody to go to McDonald's with, or to take to the high-end restaurants like Red Lobster." [Dan Patrick Show]...
Potential Vandals Beware: There Are Witnesses
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...
Cleveland Fans React With Usual Grace And Tact
The message boards at CavFanatic, the largest Cavaliers fansite, are currently an apocalyptic wasteland, where not even hope will sprout through the salted earth. Here are some of the best comments, helpfully sorted into three categories:...
Great Moments In Wounded Rabbit Mercy Killing
Let's get right to your letters. We're in for a cocksuckin' good time today, cocksuckers....
Forget About LeBronukkah With This Mindblowing Stop-Motion History Of Evolution
Here's a video by street artist Blu, who paints our evolutionary history on various surfaces and records it all with some fine stop-motion animatin'. It features a prokaryote doing a one-hour special called "The Decision." [CultureLab]...
Old Photos From Hulk Hogan's Son's Birthday Party Surface, Depicting Mock Combat, Power Maneuvers, Jorts
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 7
The final game—and shameful, shameful third-place game—is set. But before we get to the prognosticating, let's look at today's, um, goal, scored to music in a culturally benighted manner. Tune: Kid Frost....
Young Fan's Interference Leads To Mariners Loss, Priceless Expressions Of Wounded Innocence
In the eighth inning last night, Russell Branyan hit a chopper down the line that rolled into foul territory and was picked up by a teenager—preventing Ichiro from tying the game. Watch the young man's excitement turn to horror. [MLB.com]...
World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Spain
Many are calling this "the real championship game" or something along those lines. I don't know though. Germany's been dominant (save that troublesome loss to Serbia) while Spain has looked ... lucky? Competent? Which side wins out? Comment as you watch, please....
Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 6
Before today's big game, let's look back on yesterday's action, and let's be really culturally insensitive while we're at it. Enjoy....
Unfortunately Named Sprinter Defeats Amusingly Named Sprinter
Walter Dix beat out Tyson Gay in the 200m at this weekend's Prefontaine Classic, leading Reuters to produce lots of muffled laughter with this headline. [Reuters]...
One Middle Finger For Each Star Headed To The Heat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Mystery Of The Touch-Free Orgasm
Big funbag today. Right to your letters....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup, July 2-3
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy....
It Was The Best Of Mullets, It Was The Worst Of Mullets
The nation of Iran has officially made mullets illegal. But if you've got one, you got $5 off at the Pittsburgh Zoo yesterday! This being said, there's never a good time to be in Iran or Pittsburgh....
In The 209, They Make Commemorative T-Shirts!
Yes, the A's are selling "Get Off My Mound" t-shirts. They were a big hit in the visiting locker room last night among the Yankees, but Dallas Braden his own self isn't too pleased....
Angry Sheep Still Trampling Our Nation's Children
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Bob Probert, Dead At 45
Probert, NHL enforcer extraordinaire, was pronounced dead after collapsing on a boat near his hometown of Windsor, Ontario. Tie Domi and Stu Grimson sleep a little sounder tonight....
Brian Burke Honors Late Son By Marching In Pride Parade
Eight months after his son came out publicly, and five months after his death, Brian Burke marched in yesterday's Toronto Pride Parade. Awesome....