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Last Night's Winner: John Feinstein
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like sportswriter John Feinstein, who badgered a hapless NCAA VP yesterday over tournament expansion and thereby became a hero to anti-expansionists for all the wrong reasons....

Letter From Durham: Why You Shouldn't Hate Duke, And Why You Probably Will Anyway
The first game of Duke's season, against UNC-Greensboro on Nov. 13, was broadcast only on Fox Sports South, which meant that my friends up North had to wait another few days to get their initial glimpse of this year's team....

The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much....

Philadelphia Phillies: 10,000 Losses
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Philadelphia Phillies....

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

Alabama Couple Ensures Child Can Never Leave The State
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How People Disappoint You
So I made an agreement with someone and then they failed to follow through on a promise and now we're left with this big mess here that is quite awkward and sad and, well, that's it. Anyway, here's this....

Mike Vick And Dogfighting's Rise In Philly
Dogfighting cases are way up in Philadelphia since Michael Vick signed with the Eagles. Is it a citywide crackdown, or did Vick bring a terrible fad north with him?...

The Downside Of Playing In A Final Four In Your Hometown
Because Butler isn't traveling anywhere for the National Semifinals, the players still have to go to class on Friday. Although, Gordon Hayward has one on game theory, so maybe he can negotiate a victory or something. [IndyStar, via Bentern]...

Own A Piece Of Television History
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Searching For...This Lady's Dog
Have you seen Sadie? If you have, there could be two Lakers floor seats in it for you....

Come Along For The Tweet Parade Then Stay Facebook Friends Forever
We understand that there are plenty of other places many of you enjoy wasting your time on besides here. So we've finally upgraded our once decrepit social media platforms and made them all shiny and new....

Duke's Bracket Didn't Do So Well, Either
Duke's precognitive Final Four gear was not exactly accurate, but the t-shirt is subject to change. (Hopefully, it still comes with a Duke logo!) I also hope they don't spend all week watching Huskies' game film by mistake. [Thanks, Garth]...

"Who Isn't Fighting?" Here's A Better, More Brutal Look At That Lacrosse Brawl
Yesterday, we learned of a ridiculous fight at a lacrosse game. Today, the NLL released a video that shows just how ridiculous that fight was. Some day, they will show this video to schoolchildren to teach them about Darwin. [NLLInsider.com]...

Even The Washington Nationals' Ticket Website Knows They're Crap
Those plucky Washington Nationals are poised to surprise the National League East this year so buy your tickets now...right after you type "democratic diarrhea" into the box below. [WashingtonNationals] (H/T Reader Alex W.)...

New York Mets: The Undulating Curve Of Shifting Expectations
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The New York Mets....

Does Roger Clemens Look Like A Man Who Can't Please A Lady In Bed?
According to his former cuckoo mistress, Mindy McReady, The Rocket had some problems satisfying her in the bedroom. Even when she was 15? [Fox411]...

Joshua Cribbs Gets His Wife The Worst Birthday Present Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Because It's On! Dancing With The Stars Week 2 Live Blog
Will Erin Andrews dance again with her lower half covered in silly string? Those who follow the live blog might find this out....

Lacrosse Players Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other; Crowd Rejoices
The Boston Blazers and the Philadelphia Wings had a little lacrosse brawl Saturday, doing to each other what everyone has wanted to do to a lacrosse player at some point. Kudos to the quick-thinking music coordinator (Mötley Crüe!). [The700Level.com]...