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A Late Birthday Present For Our Country: Ronaldo's Son Is An American Citizen!
Not only is Cristiano Ronaldo's baby mama an American, but the kid was born on American soil. Project 2030 (coached by Michael Bradley), here we come! [AP]...
Dwyane Wade Makes Loyal Fans Feel Like Kicked Puppies
This is just about the saddest thing ever. A bunch of Heat fans woke up ass-early to greet Wade at the airport after returning from his free agent visits. He flew in to a different terminal, standing them all up....
What's More American Than A Football-Playing Predator?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Deadspin Classic: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
The Fourth of July is all about bright, nighttime explosions, and today we give you Artie Lange exploding all over the debut of Joe Buck's short-lived show, The Nepotism and Dick Joke Variety Hour....
Deadspin Classic: A Children's Treasury Of Men Getting Blasted In The Face With Champagne
We at Deadspin research spent a solid day compiling these photos, and hardly any of you stopped to admire our work the first time around. So you know what? Here they are again, like a cold blast of liquid to the face....
Deadspin Classic: A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
I scream! You scream! We all scream for profane and comprehensive reviews of chilled desserts! Sample: "Get fucked, Dippin Dots."...
Deadspin Classic: Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships
Three years ago, the former proprietor hereabouts immersed himself in the world of moist sausage and watched as a proud America reclaimed what is rightfully hers: the world championship for cramming hot dogs in one's distended mouth....
Deadspin Classic: Your Fourth Of July Throwgasm Breakdown
Happy Fourth of July. Before you do your part and blow up a small portion of the country you love, travel back in time to the magical summer of 2008 with Drew's guide to the best and worst aspects of July 4th....
Deadspin Classic: He ... Could ... Go ... All ... The ... Way!
There's no earthly reason to run this again today, except that it involves one thing America will be full of this weekend: a large man in a tropical shirt. And it remains funny as hell. You will always be with us, leather....
Deadspin Classic: There's More Than One Way To Skin A Softball Player
Chances are you'll be playing some softball this weekend. Back in 2007, Leitch stumbled upon the finest college softball media guide the world has ever known....
Deadspin Classic: How To Tap A Fucking Keg
For Spring Break, The Awl contributor Abe Sauer taught you how to get at that delicious, delicious beer. Well, you're not a college student now; you're a man, and you have friends and family to keep hydrated this holiday weekend....
Deadspin Classic: Madness, Glory, And The Self-Correcting Aneurysm
Four years ago, in the World Cup final, France's Zinedine Zidane defended the honor of his whore sister and ended his career in an unimaginably bizarre fashion. Afterward, David Hirshey bid a sad adieu....
The Dead Wrestler Of The Week Archive
All your favorite Dead Wrestler of the Week columns, in one handy location. Ooooooooh, what a rush!!!...
Deadspin Classic: Our Field Trip To <em>Quite Frankly</em>
Stephen A. Smith and the Philadelphia Inquirer recently parted ways for a second time. Let's remember the good ol' days, when Stephen A. was an emphatic, multi-platform media nuisance, and Will Leitch was just another guy in his studio audience....
Relive The Ghanian PK Miss Over And Over Again
During stoppage time — in overtime, no less — Uruguay's Luis Suarez was left with no choice but to commit a handball violation. Asamoah Gyan, who had made two PKs during the World Cup already, took it. He missed....
Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: Act IV
It's Friday, which means it's time to tack on a vuvuzela to various indelible moments in world and cultural history. Enjoy and suggest more for next week's final edition....
The World Cup Curse Of Mick Jagger
Sits in Bill Clinton's box for USA game; USA loses. Cheers on native England squad; England loses. Brings Brazilian son to today's match; Brazil out, kid cries. Any other nations whose dreams you'd like to crush, Mick?...
An Inside Look At A Failed Porn Shoot. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Sir, Please Don't Jam Your Girlfriend's Head In Your Lap While CC Is In His Wind-Up
Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Phish Fans Call Out Fenway Girl Pissing In Public
A drunk, underage woman couldn't — or wouldn't — make it to the bathrooms at Fenway last night. This is her story....