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Presenting...The Deadspin Miami Super Bowl Bounty Hunt
Sadly, no one from Deadspin's masthead will physically be traveling down to Miami this year to take part in the annual Super Bowl festivities. Unfortunately, that does not mean assorted media personalities and athletes can carouse freely without torment. Continue....

Boston Fans Perfect The Art Of Self Parody
This custom Beruit table perfectly crystallizes the essence of why the stereotypical Boston sports fan is so universally loathed. Naturally, the stereotypical Boston sports fan who created it could not be prouder. [BarstoolSports]...

Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Jimmy Traina's XXX-tra Mustard Twitter page. [NSFWNSFWNSFW]...

Caron Butler Is A Gentle, Thoughtful Lover But Only With Paul Pierce
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ray Maualuga Just Can't Count
As you know, the Bengals linebacker was arrested this past weekend and now the always fascinating cruiser cam footage is available courtesy of WLWT so the whole world can watch him get baffled by the field sobriety test....

Rae Carruth's Son Is 10 Years Old
In case you missed it: Watch the "Outside The Lines" story on Rae Carruth's now 10-year-old son, Chancellor Adams, who was born with cerebral palsy after his mom was murdered while he was in the womb. [ESPN]...

The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....

January: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from January, ranked low to high...

Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....

That Pro Bowl Was Something To See
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Africa Cup Of Nations Will Not Runneth Over
Earlier this month, Togo withdrew from the Africa Cup of Nations when Angolan separatists attacked its team bus with machine guns, killing two delegation members. You would think the African Football Confederation would have sympathy. You would be wrong....

Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....

TCU, Lacking BCS Recognition, Tries A Little Branding
A TCU student is planning to sue everyone and everybody after being branded with his fraternity's letters. That student's name: Amon Carter IV. Hey, don't the Horned Frogs play in Amon G. Carter Stadium?...

Robbie Alomar's Canadian Consolation
Forget Cooperstown; Alomar's heading to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame! To give you a sense of its prestige, his co-inductee will be Paul Quantrill. [Globe And Mail]...

OK, One Last Piece Of Brett Favre Schadenfreude
From the same Vikings radio team that brought you "This is not Detroit, man" comes this swaggering bit of audio, spoken just moments earlier: "Game's tied at 28. Fine. Because Brett Favre is the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings."...