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Dis Who
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your NFC Championship Open Thread
Supposedly there are more fellows playing in this game, going by the names of Bush, Peterson, Brees and others. That's not what I hear. All I hear is Favre Favre Favre....

Your AFC Championship Open Thread
Miss Indiana and Miss New York duke it out for your fandom (ignore the fact that it should probably be Miss New Jersey). Slobber over your QB of choice in the comments. (Photo: Jim Cooney, BRAINtrust Marketing + Communications)...

Psh, I <em>Guess</em> This Counts As Knocking Off No. 1
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Mushnick When He Mattered, Erich Segal (OO MAH SOUL!), MLK
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Open Thread: Ohio State-WVU, Kansas-Iowa State, Marquette-'Cuse, Longwood-Savannah State, Etc.
Possible topics for discussion: Evan Turner's 19-10-6 line, whether Andy Katz's prose reads like a Swedish-to-English Babelfish translation, Tyshawn Taylor's Facebook profile, the shock of learning that Lawrence Moten is the Big East's all-time leading scorer, the Morrill Land-Grant Acts....

BREAKING: NEW BURGER KING IN MIAMI WILL SERVE BEER
"At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo will run $7.99." This changes everything. [AP, via @jemelehill]...

Open Thread: Michigan State-Minnesota, 'Nova-St. John's, Rutgers-G'Town, Etc.
We'll do another of these at 2 p.m. and again at 4 p.m. Possible topic for discussion: the new Spartans logo that looks more or less like the old one but has made people very angry nonetheless....

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....

The One Where Jaimee Grubbs Banged Tiger For Haiti
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)...

Bad Beats: Why Your Betting System Sucks
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Cockblocked by Justin Long! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....

The Aussie Open Is The World's Largest Frat Party
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sean Salisbury Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest (Redux)
USA Today's Michael Hiestand has a story about Sean Salisbury you should read: "I was ashamed, and I didn't want to say anything," says Salisbury, who was an NFL quarterback for eight years and an ESPN NFL analyst for 12. "...

Tooth Fairy Turns To NHL Gold Mine
Flyers goon Ian Laperrière had seven replacement teeth stolen en route to tonight's game. This reminds me of a horrible dream I had about a stupid movie starring the Rock. What do you mean, that's a real thing? [via The700Level]...

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...