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AFC Wild Card Open Thread: Jets-Bengals
The Bengals are angry about something or other. The Jets are angry about something or other, too, despite being heavily favored to win the Super Bowl, according to the Rex Ryan Sports Book and Bingo Parlor. Discuss in the comments....

Your College Hoops Open Thread
UConn-G'Town, Purdue-Wisconsin, Duke-Georgia Tech, Georgia-John Wall, NJIT-Yale, Jeff Jordan's left hand-Indiana. Discuss....

Wizards Now Pretending Gilbert Arenas Never Existed
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Scottie Pippen Would <u>Not</u> Like To Thank All The Little People
Pippen was attacked by little people. Pippen sent one of the little people to the hospital. This is a thing that happened....

Sixers Have Something For Everyone, Except Basketball Fans
Philly hired a VH1 reality show host to give lonely fans dating advice, and next week sees a postgame concert from noted NBA player favorite Matisyahu. The Iverson sideshow's not moving as many tickets as hoped, methinks. [NBA/NBA]...

The One Where The LA Angels Catcher's Mom Accidentally Shows Her Nipple On New Year's Eve
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Childress’ Son Arrested for DUI
No Minnesota Vikings season is ever complete with a good DUI arrest. And a week before the team is hosts their divisional round playoff game, Chilly's son went and pulled a Tommy Kramer:...

Let's Cleanse The Palate With Some Real Football - Or At Least Kickers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Patriots Workers Stopped In Immigration Sting
Gillette Stadium hired dozens of workers to shovel snow from the field, and apparently had them sent in from Guatemala, by way of Rhode Island....

Enjoy Your Imaginary Championship Game, Texas and Alabama
You can use this post as an open thread for tonight's Alabama-Texas game, which means it's the perfect place for trash talk, yelling at people on TV, or composing angry rants against the BCS. Here...let me help you with that!...

"I Really Have Nothing To Say": 13 Years Of Sad Bert Blyleven Reactions
Every year, poor Bert Blyleven falls short of Cooperstown, and every year, he's asked how it feels. Looking back on 13 years of his glum responses is almost heartbreaking, like watching a frown in slow motion....

Star Spitting Is Worst Thing To Happen In Dallas Since Kennedy Assassination
An Eagles fan/employee "defiled" Cowboys Stadium with a vicious (and viscous) attack on the city of Dallas, football fans, and basic human decency. He spit on the star at midfield. Twice. Hey, that artificial turf is expensive to steam clean!...

Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times. Jesus.
Lange's mother found him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment. He had six hesitation wounds, according to the New York Post, and three "deep plunges." Doctors managed to save him despite heavy bleeding. [NYP]...

Fight's Off, At Least Until It's On Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Alleged Homosexuality Of An Atlanta Falcons Player And Other Related Matters (UPDATE)
So most of today was spent talking on the phone to homosexuals or about homosexual activities. This is not a new Wednesday feature. However, when the sports world sashays in this direction, it's our duty to accompany it....

The Return Of The Hi-Top Fade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

Hoaxish Tiger Woods Story Finally Crosses The 49th Parallel
"After dinner, Tiger Woods watched football in the living room while sending text messages to Rachel, the famous blond [sic]," according to — oh, man, this is almost too adorable — a former NHL coach....

A Boise State Fiesta Bowl Win Makes Everyone On The Field Amorous (KOGOD Update)
Remember the last time Boise State won the Fiesta, Statue of Liberty hero Ian Johnson got down on one knee and proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. Freshman o-lineman Michael Ames also experienced the spoils of victory....

Philadelphia: Home Of Rotten Fans, Underachieving Teams And Dick Towels
I'm not sure what the context of the poor woman doing the "news" is for sure, but it appears the usual post-mortem at Chickie's and Pete's where they get crowd reactions from drunk people about the Eagles game....