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The Zen Master Gets His Kicks
Introducing Adidas' Phil Jackson Artillery shoe. Wear these, kids, and maybe you too will one day sit your serene ass on the bench while the greatest players in league history win you championship after championship! [OC Register, via Slam]...

The Tony Dungy Seal Of Approval
The most fascinating element of the Michael Vick saga is the role of Tony Dungy, who has leveraged his credibility to get Vick a new job. Is this the future of PR management for "troubled" athletes?...

Vick in Philly: Three Interpretations
Before he signed a contract, Michael Vick was just a fun little action figure for sports talkers to make pretend-play with in their living rooms....

Betts, Bettis ... Whatever It Takes
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Guest Editor Intro: I Am Delusional and I Hate Winners
Good morning, sports fans. You are looking LIVE at—well, at a post I wrote yesterday and put in the can in advance....

Adrian Beltre Goes On The DL With An OH GOD WHY OW OW OW
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Which Version Of Madden Should Take Over Your Life?
If you're reading this from a line outside a 24-hour Wal-Mart, you've probably already made your choice, but if you're unsure which version of Madden 10 you should buy today, consider how you would most like waste your life....

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Apologies for taking the Lord's name in vain in the headline, readers, but this is some serious backchannel craziness the Eagles just pulled off. With all the possible destinations for Michael Vick, even in the strictly hypothetical, UFL sense.......

Mike Vick To The Eagles
That's two deceptively immobile black QBs in Philly. The Iggles inked Vick to a two year deal, which begs the question: were they bidding against themselves? Your resident Eagles homer will be along shortly with measured, reasonable analysis. [ESPN]...

Mob Justice Prevails Again (UPDATE #3)
Sick of seeing his overly-manicured facial hair plastered up all over Chicago, the suspected Wrigley Field beer chucker has turned himself in. We'll stay with this story all night if we have to! God, I feel like Nancy Grace....

Internet Paralyzed By Michael Vick To Buffalo Rumors
Have you heard?! Michael Vick and Tony Dungy are in Buffalo right now signing an eighteen-year deal worth $4 billion. Or maybe he's not in New York State at all? Maybe you're the one who's like....trapped in Buffalo, man!...

Wrigley Beer-Tossing Hand Job Still At Large (UPDATE) (UPDATE NO)
I imagine that since we're very close to identifying the man who soaked Shane Victorino last night at Wrigley, that the Chicago PD are close as well....

Create Your Own Gawker Media Hybrid
Be like thousands of satisfied GizHackSpin users and create a custom Gawker Hybrid, made possible by Toyota Prius. Read your favorite titles in one place, with the content you want from each. What's your hybrid creation? Try it here »...

The UFL Might Actually Be A Practical Joke
The United Football League unveiled its team names and uniforms this week, just hours before tickets went on sale for games you did not realize were taking place, featuring players that may not exist. Is this really happening?...

Petey Throws Five Innings Of Slop For The Win
It wasn't pretty, or inspiring, but he did end up with the win. And Charlie Manuel used the hillbilly logic to monitor his new, old pitcher: "Five innings and he was ready to be got." [Philly.com]...

Famous Actor Desperate To Portray Nerdy GM
Brad Pitt says that Moneyball: The Movie is still very much alive and he would very much like to play Billy Beane. So world-famous actors with beautiful movie star wives dream about being nerdy baseball executives? [MTV]...

Hey Buddy, Down In Fro... Oh
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Stay Classy, Cubs Fans (UPDATE)
So, yeah, this happened tonight. Maybe it's time to retire that old stereotype of Philly having the worst fans? The culprit identified, after the jump....

Rick Pitino Deemed Unworthy Of Samford Law School's Leadership Luncheon
Rick Pitino was supposed to appear at a leadership luncheon in September at Samford's Cumberland law school. Now it seems the priapic boy genius will not be darkening Samford's door, for some mysterious reason....
