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Adam Jones Heads To Great White North
The Pack-Man, as I will always know him, signed a one-year deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL. I wonder if NAFTA covers importation of strip club labor. [Canadian Press]...

Please Make This Cougar Phenomenon Go Away
Seriously. Just stop. Fellas, if you need a release that bad, act like everyone else and patronize your local washy-wash. You'll feel slightly less humiliated. [7x7]...

White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....

Aim For The Knees, Brett!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

August: <i>Fin.</i>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from August, starting with No. 10....

One Man's Old Fake Plastic Penis Utility Belt Is Another Man's Sports Memorabilia
$750. That's how much the owner of a Mankato sports bar payed to own Onterrio Smith's storied Whizzinator. "I'd love to have the Original Whizzinator on display. ... I'm going to use it."[RandBall]...

A Rough Night For Alabama High School Football
A head coach and a referee died in two separate incidents during the opening night of high school football in Alabama on Friday....

The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny Destined To Fail
Remember last week when I awarded Colorado the National League championship? Yeah, that was fun. It just goes to show you that a watched pot of history-making sports feats usually doesn't boil....

Bleacher Seat Almost As Good As Owner's Box
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Did Miguel Tejada Tip Pitches In 2001?
The New York Times seems to think he did, only the paper says so in such a mealymouthed and sidelong way that one starts to wonder if something else is going on here....

World Continues To Pay Homage To Television Character With Customized Replica Jerseys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Tom Brady's Throwing Shoulder Will Be Fine, Says Source Within Lying-Ass Organization
This was the shoulder on which Albert Haynesworth was briefly docked Friday. "There is no need for hysteria," says a source close to the tactically dishonest Patriots, who will now list Brady as "probable (shoulder)" for all eternity. [Boston Globe]...

What The Buckeyes Learned In Canada
There must be a reasonable explanation for this photo, besides the obvious scenario of a Michigan SID spying on Thad Matta's squad and hacking into Ohio State's official athletics Web site. On second thought......

It Must Be Lust: Deadspin's 2009 U.S. Open Preview
Greetings, Deadspin tennis fans! It's that time of year again!...

Muppets Win Again
Life is all about priorities, compromises and compromising priorities, which is why the WNBA's Atlanta Dream — ever heard of 'em? — may not be able to play at home if they make the playoffs. They're being bumped by puppets....

Every Poll Has Its Thorns
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Citi Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The New York Mets' Citi Field....

The Cowboys Scoreboard Punter Drinking Game
You don't need a reason to drink this weekend, but you may need a reason to watch a 49ers-Cowboys preseason game that doesn't include "it was the only thing the sheriff would let me watch from the holding cell."...

You Can Be The Proud Owner Of Onterrio Smith's Whizzinator
It's the perfect gift for the man in your life who routinely fails drug tests. It could also be used as a funny gag gift for a 40th birthday or a Christmas tree ornament. [RandBall]...

Illiterate Hockey Coach Now Writing Canada's Laws
Former NHL coach Jacques Demers—who admitted in 2005 that he is functionally illiterate—was appointed to the Canadian Senate by his buddy Stephen Harper. Eh, nobody reads government bills anyway. [Toronto Star]...