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It Looks Like The Vick Jerseys Are On Back Order
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Night
This is a couple weeks old, but well worth the wait. Let's make this girl a star....

You Keep Sending 'Em, I'll Keep Posting 'Em
These distracted young men are the Division II Colorado School of Mines Orediggers. Think your school can top this? Bring it on. After the jump, a very special bonus photo of some very "special" players....

Unfortunate Dog Dies Ironic Death
The CEO of Richmond SPCA, a very outspoken critic of local boy Michael Vick, lost her family dog to kidney failure after he was left in the backseat of her car for four hours. Uh boy.... [Times-Dispatch/MidwestVoices(via)/700 Level]...

Bankrupt Lenny Dykstra Reduced To Sleeping In His Car
This is not one of those "full of shit" liars trying to make Lenny Dykstra look bad. By his own admission, the stock market whiz kid is now sleeping in his car. So there is a level below rock bottom?...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Sure Thing"
Today's excerpt is from Eric Adelson's book about prodigious lady golfer Michelle Wie, "The Sure Thing: The Making And Unmaking Of A Golf Phenom." Buy it here. And, of course, Mr. Adelson will field your inappropriate questions in the comments....

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Mahatma ... Gandhi."...

It’s An NFL Preview Pants Party With The Mighty MJD
This week's Deadcast guest is your old Weekend Daddy and editor of Yahoo's Shutdown Corner, THE MIGHTY MJD. (Listen here, iTunes here.) Oh, MJD. How we've missed you....

Hey, You Can't Park That There!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Big Ben's Accuser Is 18 Kinds Of Crazy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

King Bloomberg Can't Hear You With All These Goddamned Commoners Barking
NYC's "benevolent tyrant," adorned in fine lavender, at the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA. [Bugs & Cranks]...

Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...

Escaping Ben Terry's Grasp Is Harder Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

This Man Will Not Defecate For Less Than Your Annual Salary
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bad Golf-As-Sex Metaphors Will Get You Fired
Which do you think this government official really got fired for: showing his peen to a golf course employee, or coming up with a truly awful one-liner?...

At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....

Apparently Joanna Krupa Is Not A Fan Of Ryan Braun's Fashion Line
At another one of those REMETEE events (remember: like "remedy" not "ream tea") the model-turned-whatever privately told one photog what she thought of Braun's creation: "It looks like Ozzy Osbourne threw up on you." [Milwaukee Nights]...

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...