ad Page 1640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Congratulations On Your New Acquisition, Boston!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Hope. Change. Buzzsaw Tattoos.
This is the Mighty Jim Cooke sketch of what will be placed on my upper right buttock very soon. No red birds, no shooting flames — just buzzsaw....

Arizona Dismisses Confused, Drunk Mascot
The Diamondbacks fired their mascot because of a DUI arrest and not, as suspected, because bobcats are not snakes. [AZ Republic]...

Chicago Wants A Second Terrible Football Franchise
This is what happens when you have two weeks of down time to fill, but it's somehow still football season. Crazy mayors get crazy ideas and people (like me) pretend to take them seriously....

Kirk Radomski Has No Doubt That Roger Clemens Is Lying Through His Pustules
Kirk Radomski's new book "Bases Loaded" is about his life as a high-end dope dealer for major league players. A large chunk of his promotional tour appears to be knee-capping Roger Clemens....

No, It's Not Real Pee, Officer -- It's My Artistic Interpretation Of The Eagles' Performance In NFC Championship Games
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

McNabb's Arizona Home Vandalized By Cardinals Fans
Donovan McNabb's off-season home in Chandler, Ariz., was vandalized overnight last week. "Go Cards" and other messages were burned on the front lawn. Quite a thing to learn on Martin Luther King Day....

Another NBA Player Defects To The NFL ... In His Dreams
Kobe Bryant: "I could play wide receiver for the Eagles." NOW He Tells Us [San Francisco Sports Examiner]...

Dwyane Wade, STD's, Child Support And You
The divorce proceedings of Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade and his wife, Siohvaughn, are getting downright nasty. For one thing, she claims he gave her STDs. Yikes....

NBA Un-Bans Liquor Ads, Embraces Cheerful Drunks
The NBA has long taken a principled stance against allowing liquor ads at courtside where kiddies can see them. But now they need the money, so forget all that. [Sports Business Journal]...

Not What Eagles Fans Want To See This Morning
The boys at the Pennsylvania Dept. of Transportation had an important bulletin for eastbound motorists on the Pennsylvania Turnpike this morning. Some commuters were not amused. [Philly Edge]...

If You Want To Crown 'Em, Then Crown Their A--
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Congratulations, Buzzsaw
Can't say that this isn't a massive disappointment for both Donovan McNabb and my skin, but the scrappy Arizona Cardinals did what the scrappy Arizona Cardinals do, I guess. So did the Eagles, unfortunately....

The NFC Championship Live Blog, Done Right (Not With Tagged Posts)
Will it be the desert dwellers or the East coast fellers? Which nine-win team reigns supreme? This and much more Iron Chef-style prose to follow in the live blog, aprez le jump....

Live From Glendale, It's The Emeritus Twitter Feed
Live Twittering from the Pink Taco. Watch a boy melt down, in real time. [Twitter]...

Is That A Caterpillar On Your Forehead Or Is Your Team Still In The Playoffs?
The indefatigable Christmas Ape found the latest fashion craze happening in Baltimore—fake unibrows, in honor of rookie quarterback Joe Flacco. It's actually a charity drive, which is great, because I won't publicly humiliate myself unless it's for a good cause. Or cash. Preferably cash. [Kissing S...

Cowboys Cheerleader Vs. Titans Cheerleader: It Is So On
Nothing perks up our Friday like a good cheerleader catfight. Today, it's former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader/PETA supporter Bonnie Jill Laflin vs. Tennessee Titans cheerleader/rodent decapitator Melissa Hodges....

The One With The Sorority Girl With The Poop On Her Leg
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week....

The AFC Championship Game As Imagined By An Eight-Year-Old Boy
Yes, this Pittsburgh Post-Gazette graphic sums up Sunday's AFC Championship game matchup perfectly (WTF?). Time to worry: That Raven looks totally unaffected by the deadly eye beams. [Best Week Ever]...

The Fat White Guy Cometh
Robert Lunn, a former defensive tackle for the University of Connecticut, has one thing he won't miss about playing college ball: The Piss Test. [Thoughts From A Fat White Guy]...