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The NL's Best Pitchers Hunt And Hit College Bars Together
When we were the sports editor at the Daily Illini, Illinois head coach Lou Henson and his wife Mary invited us into their home, and we drank hot tea and ate chocolate on their porch while we discussed Jerry Hester, Kiwane Garris and next year's team. We are realizing today that we were sports edi...

Jamboroo, Week 13: Where The F—k Are My December NFL Saturdays?
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Eat Ice, Evil Doers!
In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...

The Patriots Are, For One Night, Almost Mortal
The Eagles might have fallen just short tonight, but three important things happened....

Eagles, Patriots, Roughriders And Bombers
The biggest question regarding tonight's Eagles and Patriots game (8:15pm, NBC) isn't whether the Pats can keep their perfect season run alive. They will. It's whether or not this inevitable gong show will resemble anything even close to a competitive football game. It probably won't....

Workin' On Thanksgiving
• Nick Saban is a student of history. • It's funny when sideline reporters are dropped on their head. • The Celtics aren't going undefeated. • Zoooooook. • Isiah somehow survived the week. • Thanksgiving is not that important to Ron Mexico. • We will miss Kaz Tadano. • Frank TV is here! (Briefly.) •...

We'll Be Listening To You
We know that you know, Mr. Caul. For your own sake, don't get involved any further....

No Haka In Oregon, Bra
And now a story about a football team that begins every game with a 15-yard penalty ... and curiously, it's not the Raiders. The players from Jefferson High in Oregon perform the Haka Dance during pregame warmups every week, and are summarily penalized by officials for taunting. But instead of givin...

The Eagles Are HUGE Underdogs Sunday
We were pretty amazed to read this this morning: Apparently Sunday night's Patriots-Eagles game has the biggest spread in NFL history. (Well, not exactly: They're not counting expansion teams, for some reason; the Buccaneers were 24-point underdogs to the Steelers in their first season, and lost 42-...

Jamboroo, Week 12: A Special, Comprehensive Breakdown Of Thanksgiving From An Experienced Fat Person
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Except for today, because we're off tomorrow, because it's Thanksgiving....

Baseball Loses A Trailblazer
It is truly a sad day in the world of baseball: Kaz Tadano, the Japanese former relief pitcher for the Indians, has decided to return to Japan. We already miss him....

Al Davis Is Not At All Insane
We thought you should know that Al Davis stated recently that he will not retire until the Oakland Raiders win two more Super Bowls. We're not saying that it may take a few years, but we did immediately think of this photo. "Al, if you want a two tight end set, beep twice. For a running play, beep o...

Andrea Kremer Hearts Tom Brady
It's a few days old now, but, OK, judging from this "interview" from Sunday, it's only a matter of time before Andrea Kremer, Gisele and Tom are all on the Dr. Phil show hashing this out. Such shameless flirting has not been witnessed since Churchill got Roosevelt to agree to the lend-lease program...

This Is Why People Hate High School
Everybody knows that the only thing on earth better than cheerleaders are cheerleaders who flash some ass. Despite this universal understanding the Modesto City Gestapo School Board are allowing cheerleaders to be suspended for flashing their panties....

Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....

If It's November, It Must Be SHOTY Time
• Welcome, 2007 SHOTY! • See Digger Phelps act. • A fun week for Aubrey Huff. • Look, the book has a cover! • Stephon Marbury fever. Catch it. • The Lambeau ... ow! • I - L - L! • Welcome "back," A-Rod. • Marching bands are cool. Really. • Down goes Oregon. • Barry. Barry. Barry....

Mom And Me Versus You And Dad
She's a very risky writer, Lili. Very racy. Exhibiting her c—t in that fashion is very racy. We mean, Lili has her influences in post modern literature, it's a bit derivative of Kafka, but for a student, very racy. Did you get that it was her c—t?...

"Dear Furry Guy ... I Am Sorry I Hit You"
We've already played with "Who's Sorry Now" earlier this morning, but we couldn't help but point out this particularly bit of humiliation: A college hockey player has to write a letter of apology to a mascot....

Jamboroo, Week 11: A Quick Tribute To The Strongest Motherf—ker In The NFL
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....