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Brad Marchand Has Given Up Being Creatively Annoying And Just Punched A Guy In The Back Of The Head
The truly frustrating thing about Brad Marchand is that he’d be a star without all the bullshit. He’s on the top line of the team with the best odds to win the Cup because he’s really, really good at hockey, not because of the other stuff. It’s just that the other stuff—“pest” feels insufficient to ...
More Like Adam Wayne-Rooney, Am I Right
The perennially overhyped Washington Nationals loaded the bases against Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright in the second inning of Tuesday night’s game in D.C. The bad news for Nationals fans is, they did it on an intentional walk of eighth batter Wilmer Difo, which put pitcher Aníbal Sánchez at the...
San Diego Sports Radio Station Gets Completely Shut Down In The Middle Of A Show
San Diego sports radio station The Mighty 1090 had been off the airwaves and in an online-only format since April 10, courtesy of its parent company Broadcast Company of the Americas. Its future was extremely uncertain. On Monday, it was killed off for good in the middle of the day....
Football Writers Dust Off Their Old Dumb Takes About Domestic Violence, Somehow Make Them Dumber
Since the Kansas City Chiefs indefinitely suspended Tyreek Hill last week for his alleged role in breaking his 3-year-old son’s arm and for threatening his fiancée in a leaked audio recording, the NFL Knowers have dutifully donned their thinking caps and pondered solutions. What the actual problem b...
Commissioner For A Day: It's Time For A Four-Point Shot In The NBA
It is not a good practice, just as a general rule, to steal Big Ideas from widely maligned and mostly forgotten MTV stunt-programming. But people that play by the general rules or adhere to best practices or “have actual ideas of their own” seldom make history, and I was not going to spend my one hy...
What The Absolute Hell Was Kyle Lowry Doing?
It was possible to miss this in realtime. I did. For one thing, it happened quickly, and devolved quickly into distracting chaos. For another, even if your eyes gathered the information and transmitted it whole to your brain, your brain may have processed it as an error and erased it, because it is ...
In Game With Gut-Sick Joel Embiid, Raptors Are The Ones To Shit Their Pants
Joel Embiid was listed as probable headed into Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series between the 76ers and Raptors, with a case of gastroenteritis. It’s a stomach virus, and is experienced as a lot of stomach pain and diarrhea, which is definitely not the condition you want to be in whil...
Mike Francesa Blames Giants Draft Pick For Getting Shot And Bringing Shame To The Team
Two Washburn University football players were shot outside of a party in Topeka, Kansas early Sunday morning, according to the Topeka PD. Junior defensive back Dwane Simmons was pronounced dead at the scene, while his teammate Corey Ballentine suffered non-life threatening injuries. Hours before the...
Pay-To-Play Is The Stadium Grift That Keeps On Giving
Sometime in the next few days, Indiana Gov. Eric Holcomb—aka the guy who took Mike Pence’s job when Pence ascended to the Old Executive Office Building—is expected to sign a bill extending the Indiana Pacers’ lease in Indianapolis through 2044. In exchange for agreeing to have his team play where it...
Philippine MMA Promotion Hosts Extremely Sloppy 3-On-3 Fight
Last weekend, regional Philippine MMA promotion Universal Reality Combat Championship showcased several of the Philippines’ most promising fighters fighting the normal way, and then also six other dudes fighting three-on-three. It was not as action-packed as you might imagine....
Brad Gilbert Will Run For Justin Gimelstob's Seat On The ATP Board, May Spare The ATP Some Actual Decisions
Brad Gilbert, tennis world fixture, ESPN analyst, and high-volume tweeter, announced yesterday that he will run for a position on the ATP Board of Directors currently occupied by Justin Gimelstob....
Fernando Tatis Jr. Leaves Padres-Nationals After Doing A Split He Was Not Prepared For
In the bottom of the 10th, Victor Robles went for a bunt to try and advance a runner, Wilmer Difo, to second base. Padres pitcher Matt Wisler made a run towards the ball in an attempt to at least stop Difo from advancing. Fernando Tatis Jr. was under the impression that Wisler’s throw was not going ...
Arizona's Zack Godley Wiggles Ass, Balks Home A Run
The first sign that the Diamondbacks were in for a long night against the Cubs came even before the first inning started, when a healthy population of Chicago fans filled the seats of Chase Field. The second sign came in the top of the third, when a seemingly harmless rump shake from pitcher Zack Go...
Josh Rosen Handles Cardinals Exit Maturely While Steve Smith Is Left To Find Another Young Player To Get Mad At For No Reason
The instant that the Cardinals selected Kyler Murray with the first-overall pick in the NFL Draft, the conversation surrounding Josh Rosen’s future with the franchise went from wondering if he’ll be the team’s starting quarterback next season, to wondering when he’ll get traded and where he’ll go....
Vladimir Tarasenko Remains The Best Reason To Watch The Blues
Goaltender Jordan Binnington is getting the overwhelming share of attention during this dominant run the Blues have enjoyed since putting him in net halfway through the season, and it’s not hard to see why. The team sucked before he showed up, and now they’re in the second round of the playoffs with...
It's Not Really The Playoffs Until There's A Brad Marchand Controversy
The most irritating man in hockey had returned for the second round of the playoffs after lying relatively dormant in the first, as Bruins forward Brad Marchand is back to inventing petty tricks to get in his opponents’ heads....
Joe Biden Wants To Be The Donald Trump For White People Who Don't Like Donald Trump
Joe Biden’s campaign announcement video—he’s running for president, of course—begins with Charlottesville, Va. It’s a choice, and the construct it reflects is an interesting one. It says a lot....
Rhys Hoskins Trolled The Mets With A Leisurely Stroll Around The Bases
Brawny Phillies slugger Rhys Hoskins smashed a moonshot homer to left in the top of the ninth inning of Philadelphia’s 6–0 win over the Mets Tuesday night. The dinger came at the expense of Mets reliever Jacob Rhame, who then had to endure Hoskins taking a looooooong time to round the bases:...
Vlad Jr. Is Finally, Finally Bringing His Mighty Dingers To The Majors
Huzzah, baseball friends! Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who has been the best and most exciting and most popular player in the Toronto Blue Jays organization for more than a year, is now finally good enough to join the Toronto Blue Jays:...