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Zack Wheeler Demolished The Phillies In A Variety Of Ways
Baseball’s reliance on increasingly advanced stats can be alienating for those who don’t spend a large chunk of their summers deep in FanGraphs databases and Statcast k-holes. But sometimes, all you need is to look at a box score and see one player going buckwild to understand what happened....

This Penalty Kick Is So Bad That The Player Who Took It Was Immediately Cut
It’s been quite the whirlwind week for Venezuelan soccer player Bendix Parra. Last Tuesday, he was a starter in one of the biggest matches in the history of his club, Paraguay’s Independiente. This Tuesday, he found himself unemployed when Independiente tore up his contract. All of this for one espe...

Mallex Smith Just Straight-Up Swatted Austin Hedges's Fly Ball Over The Wall
Not all dingers are created equal. Some rocket out of the park at 118 miles an hour and are never seen again; some are routine fly balls that get pushed a few inches beyond the wall by a helpful wind. Some stay in the yard, like cowards. This one, from Austin Hedges of the San Diego Padres, had no b...

Phillies Third Base Coach Owns The Absolute Hell Out Of Maikel Franco
One of the cooler moments televised baseball has to offer is a liner to left with a reasonably quick runner on second base. The camera cuts to the standard view of a ball in play, and you get a good look at everything happening all at once: the ball cruising through the left side and into the outfie...

Fabio Fognini Is One Slippery Noodle
When a tennis shot is shanked, shallow, spinless, or otherwise borked, the culprit is often a too-tight arm. The more an amateur tries to muscle the ball, the less they’ll actually accomplish. Power comes from relaxed muscles working in unison. There might not exist a material in the tennis universe...

Let's Catch Up On The State Of The Marvel Cinematic Universe In Time For <i>Avengers: Endgame</i>
Hello friends! As you’re well aware by now, Avengers: Endgame opens in theaters this weekend, finally bringing to a—uh, well, not a close or a conclusion, but uh like some kind of large-scale branding transition for Disney and its Marvel Studios subsidiary, where they will arbitrarily plant a flag a...

Jake Arrieta Was Quite Peeved At Bryce Harper For Getting Ejected
The Phillies were meek losers in New York last night, going down 5-1 to the Mets while putting together just three hits. It was the kind of game that can produce a lot of frustration; it did that for Bryce Harper, who got ejected for arguing balls and strikes in the fourth inning, and for Phillies s...

Bryce Harper Ejected For Arguing Balls And Strikes, Once Again Goes Apeshit
One thing Phillies fans have yet to experience much of is new slugger Bryce Harper’s at-times contentious relationship with baseball’s umpires. He has been known to shout “fuck you” at them; they have been known to eject him for mysterious reasons. In general the two sides seem to harbor quite a bit...

Climbing World Mourns After Three Of The World's Top Alpinists Die In Avalanche
After a four-day search, Parks Canada announced Sunday that they had recovered the bodies of climbers Jess Roskelley, Hansjörg Auer, and David Lama from the aftermath of an avalanche....
![Jared Dudley And Jimmy Butler Were Ejected After A Scrum They Started Got Out Of Hand [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uxqqt0eruasj2mlbuxr1.png)
Jared Dudley And Jimmy Butler Were Ejected After A Scrum They Started Got Out Of Hand [Updates]
What started out as some beef between Ben Simmons and Jared Dudley has now escalated into Jared Dudley trying to beef with the other stars of the 76ers roster. In the third quarter, Joel Embiid tried to get a block on Nets big man Jarrett Allen—a player Embiid elbowed in the face and then laughed ab...

Report: MLB Suspends Tim Anderson One Game For Calling Honky The N-Word
The Royals and White Sox had a brief scuffle Wednesday after Royals pitcher Brad Keller hit White Sox shortstop Tim Anderson in the tush with a pitch in bottom of the sixth inning. The plunking was obvious retaliation for Anderson’s jubilant reaction to a home run he had hit two innings prior, and s...

The Nets Didn't Have A Plan For J.J. Redick, So He Ripped Them Apart
Only a few NBA players qualify as “unguardable.” It’s a weird category: Being unguardable isn’t the same thing as being quantitatively better than everybody else. James Harden, the best scorer in the NBA, almost certainly will bust your ass no matter how you play him, but there’s at least a theory f...

Ben Simmons Definitely Has The Energy For Jared Dudley
Shockingly, the return of Jared Dudley did not tip the scales of the Nets-Sixers series. In Thursday’s Game 3, the Nets were lit up at home, 131-115, even with Joel Embiid in street clothes. Ben Simmons led Philly with 31 points on 11-of-13 shooting, and well-rounded box score aside, he also kept hi...

Stephen A. Smith Defends The Honor Of Co-Host And Alleged Farter Max Kellerman
Stephen A. Smith isn’t the prime suspect in the First Take Fart Mystery, but he’s still getting grilled for it. On Smith’s radio show Thursday, a caller started off with a comment about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but turned it into a thought on Max Kellerman’s allegedly stinky rear....

NCAA Punishes Cal Poly Basketball For Giving Student-Athletes Too Much Money For Textbooks
The NCAA sees itself as the moral authority on all things college sports, a belief that has been proven to be faulty many times over. In reality, it is just another corporate entity preoccupied with image and its own arcane laws that, often, if not exclusively, run at the expense of so-called studen...

The Jets Can't Win At Home And Can't Protect Leads, But Other Than That, Everything's Fine
It all started so well for the Jets, and ended so poorly, which is how an alarmingly large number of games have gone for Winnipeg this year, and is why there are potentially an alarmingly small number of games left for them. For the 11th time this season, the Jets lost a game they had led entering t...

Someone Farted Near The Sixers' Bench
With Joel Embiid not playing in Game 3 of Sixers-Nets because of an injury, it made sense for the TNT broadcast to take some time during a break in the action and talk about his absence. As Ros Gold-Onwude spoke about Embiid’s decision to sit out, and the camera panned towards him, someone near the ...

Report: Penn's Athletic Department Seems To Be Okay With Letting The Volleyball Team Feel Hopeless About Their Terrible Coaching Situation
Multiple members of Penn’s volleyball team have accused coach Iain Braddak of mistreating, dejecting and offending players throughout a horrendous 2018 season with inappropriate coaching tactics, according to a report published in The Daily Pennsylvanian on Thursday. The players also told the Pennsy...

Jared Dudley Versus Ben Simmons Should Turn Into Some Prime NBA Playoff Beef
In Game 1 against the Sixers, fleshy Nets vet Jared Dudley shone. He finished with two points, but made several nice reads after lumbering into traffic, snagged a steal which led to a charming slow-break before Mike Scott broke it up on aesthetic principle, and, most importantly, played some stout d...

Philipp Grubauer Saved A Game And The Flames Are On The Brink
It’s less sexy than the Blue Jackets clobbering Tampa, but out west the Avalanche are on the verge of upsetting the other top seed, taking a 3-1 series lead over the Flames after a comeback 3-2 overtime win. Colorado’s doing a lot right, but a large share of their success belongs to goalie Philipp G...