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Joel Embiid Almost Murders Statistician In Quest For Loose Ball<em></em>
Joel Embiid hustled like hell to get a loose ball in the third quarter of tonight’s 76ers-Knicks game, and he endangered several lives in the process. While Tracy Morgan looked on, the Philly big man hurtled straight over Regina King as he tried to save his team’s possession. But when he cannonballe...
Denver's Joe Flacco Trade Gets The Coveted Mike Francesa Seal Of Approval
John Elway has a very poor history of acquiring quarterbacks for his Denver Broncos. This isn’t to say he can’t do it, or that he’s doomed to failure, or even that all his failures to date are necessarily his fault. Maybe he’s been really unlucky! Point is, if you’re looking for evidence that being ...
Unavoidable Organization With Amoral Right-Wing Ownership Announces Partnership With Sinclair
The Chicago Cubs announced today that they will be launching a new regional sports network, beginning in 2020. For the new venture, called Marquee Sports Network, the Ricketts family has partnered with a real gem of a broadcasting company: Sinclair. Yeah, that Sinclair....
Jayson Tatum Needs To Shut Down His Kobe Brain And Play More Like This
Jayson Tatum used to look a little different. Early in last season’s playoffs, Albert praised the Celtics rookie’s knack for catching the ball on the move while defenses were still in flux, making his knifing drives all the deadlier. At 19, with his team’s two stars broken on the sidelines, he was a...
Johnny Cueto Once Again Remembers His Dead Horse With Photo Of His Dead Horse
Johnny Cueto’s horse named Popeye has died, according to his Instagram. For proof, the Giants pitcher shared a photo of the dead horse:...
Big Boban Flicked One Over Small Al
It’s always a treat to see the hands of Boban Marjanovic manipulate a tiny basketball. During the Sixers’ loss to the Celtics Tuesday night, the Philly center was regularly corralling rebounds without leaving the floor. He snagged this one like an apple off a high branch:...
Joel Embiid Ends Press Conference By Declaring That The Referees "Fucking Suck"
The freshly beefed-up Philadelphia 76ers faced a reeling and miserable Boston Celtics team in Philly last night, and thus had the opportunity to put a signature win on their increasingly hated rivals. Instead, they got beat 112-109 (despite the Celtics not having Kyrie Irving on the floor), and Joel...
Dan Snyder's Sleazy Stadium Scheme Is Crumbling Around Him
Dan Snyder’s underhanded scheme to plop a new home for his constitutionally corrupt and dysfunctional football team somewhere in the DC metropolitan area is suddenly in the deepest of shit. The DC power-move went to shit, and now the proposed site in Maryland, the acquisition of which would’ve requi...
Kevin McHale Doesn't Realize He's On Air, Calls Someone A "Dickhead"
TNT rolled right through a few quiet seconds of a dead-ball in the first half of Tuesday night’s Celtics-76ers game, leaving the Players Only broadcast crew to chat through what might normally be filled by a relevant chyron and/or the small-talk skills of a professional play-by-play announcer. It se...
Papa John Joins Long And Noble Tradition Of Asshole Kentucky Bandwagoners
Disgraced pizza man Papa “John” Schnatter, having been ostracized by the University of Louisville after he was revealed as a racist and a horrible boss, has evidently abandoned all support for his formerly beloved Cardinals. Instead of continuing to root for Louisville despite the removal of his nam...
Montrezl Harrell Keeps Cussing At Opposing Fans
Los Angeles Clippers forward Montrezl Harrell got fined $25,000 by the NBA today for what the league calls “directing inappropriate language toward a fan.” Anyone bored enough to be watching Clippers-Timberwolves on Monday could hear exactly what the “inappropriate language” was, as Harrell calmly t...
What’s The Matter With Tampa Bay?
It’s not like everyone hadn’t been thinking it, but it took Tommy Pham to mention the elephant in the room. The outfielder, who one year earlier had celebrated his 6-WAR season in his first year as a starter at age 29 by publicly tearing down Cardinals management for not calling him up sooner, was s...
NBA Refs Defend Bradley Beal's Comical, Insanely Obvious Travel
Late in the Wizards’ loss to the Pistons on Monday night, Bradley Beal took it to the rim. He gathered the ball, took his usual two steps, saw an enormous Blake Griffin looming in his airspace, and then ... just kept walking. As one does. Blake’s face on the replay says it all....
This Table-Tennis Trick Shot Bends Minds And Makes Opponents Look Silly
Adam Bobrow, a commentator for the International Table Tennis Federation, loves snakes. Here are some of his favorite snakes. They tend to startle people:...
Brett Brown Really Wants Ben Simmons To Keep Shooting Threes
The Philadelphia 76ers beat the Lakers 143-120 yesterday, despite star point guard Ben Simmons scoring just eight points and going 3-of-13 from the field. That should tell you just how talented the Sixers are, and also why so much of the postgame talk centered around Simmons’s jump shot....
Trent Richardson Given The First Bad Penalty In AAF History After Spiking Ball Into Stands
It took over three quarters of play, but the Birmingham Iron scored the first touchdown in franchise history on Sunday; and it was all thanks to former NFL running back Trent Richardson. The former Alabama star scored from four yards out on a read option play, escaping from one would-be tackler....
JaVale McGee Lets Out High-Pitched Scream To Let Teammates Know He's Open
There weren’t a lot of highlights for the Lakers in the second half of their game against the Sixers on Sunday, but thankfully JaVale McGee was around to make things somewhat entertaining. After Tobias Harris rotated away from McGee in the post, the Los Angeles big man still hadn’t been passed the b...
Magic Johnson Wants To Assure You He Won't Be Tampering During His Potential Offseason Workouts With Ben Simmons
After the Lakers’ front office, LeBron James and Klutch Sports were thoroughly embarrassed by the Pelicans at this year’s trade deadline, one would think it’d be wise for all those involved to maybe take a step back when questions about players from other teams come up. Unfortunately for Magic Johns...
Adam Gase Is Building A Locker Room Powder Keg With His New Coaching Hires
Adam Gase being brought on to be the head coach of the New York Jets began as an uncreative hire, but has since blossomed into one of the more entertaining storylines of the NFL offseason through his own design. When we last caught up with Gase, his hypnotic eyeballs distracted us from some of his c...
Rich Paul Snitched On The Pelicans And Got Anthony Davis His Playing Time Back
It seems like just yesterday that Anthony Davis had his image wiped from nearly every part of Pelicans-related media in anticipation for the team to honor his trade request. But both sides had to put that bit of their history behind them on Friday when the All-Star big man suited up to play agains...