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At Least One Nathan Peterman Defender Exists, And He's A Shitbird
The Buffalo Bills officially announced on Wednesday that flailing intern Nathan Peterman would no longer be their starting QB, to the relief of Bills fans and probably Peterman himself, who never asked to become synonymous with incompetence just because his team had an irrational fear of Tyrod Taylo...

Deadspin Up All Night: Gets Me To The Church On Time
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Here’s to you, rockhounds....

Sam Hinkie Wants You To Help Him Build The Future Of Reading
Former Process architect, recent Broncos consultant, and present Bachelor enthusiast Sam Hinkie is seeking like-minded collaborators on a number of important projects....

Yet Another Pitcher Has The Baby Disease
Astros reliever Brad Peacock has been diagnosed with hand, foot and mouth disease and sent home from the team, becoming the third MLB pitcher this season to contract the viral infection that usually only affects infants and children under five years of age. What is going on??...

Report: Florida High School Football Coach Accused Of Head-Butting And Blowing Snot-Rockets On Players, Telling One To Kill Himself
This is a crazy story, first reported by the Palatka Daily News, in Florida: Randell Gene Owens, a former assistant football coach and physical education teacher at Palatka High School in Putnam County, is accused of, shit, just a whole wild catalogue of alarming abuses directed at his players....

Deadspin Up All Night: A Love To Last Forever
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Winston Churchill....

Colorado Sports Fan's Plan To Rob Vape Store Falls Apart After He Drops Gun And Pants
This guy here, by appearances an avid Broncos and Rockies fan, spectacularly failed to rob an E-Cig of Denver store in Colorado on Sept. 2. Fumbling his gun over the counter was a bad start, and failing to secure his pants was a bad follow-up, although he did redeem himself somewhat with a super coo...

Breaking: The Charles E. Smith Center Jumbotron
Dear the small person doing the surrender cobra near the precariously tilted chunk of Jumbotron: It’s going to be okay....

It Sure Looks Like A Colorado Player Twisted The Hell Out Of Adrian Martinez's Leg
With 3:29 remaining in the fourth quarter and Nebraska leading Colorado 28-27, the Huskers were at midfield and driving toward the end zone when freshman quarterback Adrian Martinez took the ball and sprinted on a designed run to the right. Martinez hadn’t been perfect in his first-ever start, but w...

Maybe Change Is A Bad Thing?
It was a bad week to be an NFL coach making his debut on their new team. After Jon Gruden’s Raiders decided to allow the Rams to score 23 straight points on their way to a 33-13 loss, new coaches ended the first week of the regular season a combined 0-7, breaking a 17-year NFL record....

Philly's Grounds Crew Uses Flamethrowers To Dry Wet Field, HAS FLAMETHROWERS
Monday night’s scheduled Nationals-Phillies game was postponed when the Philadelphia grounds crew couldn’t get the field ready for play, despite there being no significant rain at game-time. The issue, it turns out, came down to heavier than expected rain over the weekend, or possibly a miscalculati...

Kenny Golladay Might Not Be Playing In His Best Position
The powerful, yet errant, arm of Matthew Stafford certainly must make life as a Lions receiver a bit more difficult than it has to be. You’ll either get a well-placed ball on a deep route, or see the ball sail over your head when your route is anything under 15 yards. To deal with his quarterback’s ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Have Too Much To Say
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Philadelphia Union Introduce New Mascot, A Snake With Arms And Legs, Which Are Like The Most Important Things A Snake Doesn't Have
In their ninth MLS season, the Philadelphia Union finally (finally) have a mascot. It seems like mere days ago he was a giant egg at the Philadelphia Zoo, which at least indicated that he was not a mammal, or was at least a monotreme. Today, we all got the big news:...

The Golden Knights And Canadiens Made A Fascinating Trade
The second-year Vegas Golden Knights are operating as if they’re in win-now mode, and why not? They absolutely are. Meanwhile the Montreal Canadiens are trading away their captain in the middle of the night. So that’s how things are going!...

The Stadium Scam Goes Minor-League, And It Has An Unlikely Ally
When the state of Rhode Island offered up $38 million in June to the owners of the Triple-A Pawtucket Red Sox toward a new stadium, it seemed likely to be the first step on the road to a replacement for the beloved-but-modern-kitchenless 76-year-old McCoy Stadium. Sure, the PawSox owners had balked ...

Madison Bumgarner And Ryan Braun Started A Nice Little Feud
Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun had a tense standoff Sunday with Giants workhorse Madison Bumgarner, after the latter threw inside and pegged the former. With this, Bumgarner loaded the bases with two outs and paid dearly....

Like The Rest Of Us, Tennis's Governing Bodies Are Arguing About Serena Williams
Through a series of statements, tennis’s governing bodies (the Women’s Tennis Association, the U.S. Tennis Association, and the International Tennis Federations) are staking out their positions on the sad and entirely avoidable debacle that was the U.S. Open women’s final. ...

I Ate Like A Football Player And Suffered Like A Blogger
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....

Deadspin Up All Night: Running Up That Hill
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. ’Night....