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Deadspin Up All Night: I've Had Enough Of Shitty News<em></em>
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The trees are finally in bloom; winter may finally be over....

The NFL Wants You To Forget What Ryan Shazier's Inspiring Recovery Is From<em></em>
Last night at the NFL Draft, Roger Goodell praised Ryan Shazier’s “unyielding determination and unwavering spirit” as the commissioner invited the Steelers linebacker to the stage to announce Pittsburgh’s first-round pick. Broadcasters noted what an “awesome moment” it was to see Shazier walk shakil...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Mighty Morphin Power Rangers</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....

Penguins Remind Us That The Capitals Can Never Relax
Behind a lead-off goal 17 seconds in from Evgeny Kuznetsov, and a sniper shot at the start of the third from Alex Ovechkin, the Capitals were cruising tonight with a two-goal lead in Game 1 of their second-round series against the Penguins. But in the span of five minutes, it all fell apart, as thre...

Report: The NHL Called The Bruins To Ask Brad Marchand To Stop Licking Other Players
The NHL called up the Bruins to let them know that Brad Marchand should not be licking or nuzzling his opponents, as first reported by SportsNet and later confirmed by ESPN. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: New Version Of Pete Rock
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Reminisce on better days with this song, and try not to let your enjoyment of this classic be overshadowed by the recent events that have led to John Legend exposing himself as the herb he truly is....

NBA Says LeBron James's Outrageous, Pivotal Block Was A Goaltend
Victor Oladipo burned LeBron James one-on-one in what ended up being the Pacers’ last possession of Game 5, then went up for a scoop layup. James, in the mood to add some fresh tape to his career reel, recovered to pin the ball against the glass—but only after the ball had made contact with the gla...

Rafa Is Somehow Still Setting New Records On Clay
Today, playing at the Barcelona Open, a tournament he has won 10 times, on a court officially named “Pista Rafa Nadal,” Rafael Nadal won his 39th and 40th consecutive sets on clay. This extends an Open Era–record for consecutive sets on clay courts, per the ATP, that Nadal first set last Sunday in t...

Soulless Avatars Of Late Capitalism Set Up Nicely To Acquire Another European Cup
European Soccer Market (ESM) analysts the world over are still abuzz about the big step Real Madrid (ESM:RMD) took on their path to consolidating their ownership of the European Cup for the third consecutive year....

Josh Allen Called Stephen A. Smith At 2 A.M. To Apologize For His Racist Tweets
Last night, top NFL draft prospect Josh Allen joined the long list of young athletes who have seen their old, problematic tweets resurfaced. Yahoo compiled the since-deleted tweets, which were sent between 2012 and 2013, when Allen was still a teenager....

Marvel Vs. Star Wars: WHO YA GOT???!!?!?!?!
The new Avengers movie drops tonight and so, bereft of better ideas, we thought now would be a good time to kick up a needless fanboy argument and ask: Do you prefer the Star Wars movies, or the Marvel MCU movies? Which one has your childhood stored in a crystal locket, soon to be crushed by an inco...

Deadspin Up All Night: There Is No Sun
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We like hearing from you: [email protected]....

Marvin Harrison Carries Baseball Bat As He Has A Definitely Not At All Threatening Conversation With Tenant
Via Terez Owens comes this video of Hall of Fame wide receiver and Philadelphia landlord Marvin Harrison holding a baseball bat as he walks toward someone who apparently owes him money....

High-Kicking Madman Should Maybe Switch From Soccer To Taekwondo
Here we have yet another South American soccer player who apparently can’t differentiate between the kinds of kicks you use to score goals as Messi when playing FIFA and those you use to punt opponents’ heads off their bodies as Sub-Zero in Mortal Kombat:...

Padres Rookie Pitcher Can Only Gaze Admiringly At The Grand Slam He Just Gave Up
Every baseball rookie has his “Welcome to the bigs” moment. Padres pitcher Eric Lauer’s would be better characterized as a “You’re playing real baseball now, motherfucker” experience....

Idiot On The Field In Yankee Stadium Gets Taken Out Near Second Base
An idiot on the field at Yankee Stadium got dropped by security like he was a running back in the Meadowlands during the seventh inning of tonight’s Twins-Yankees game. The broadcast cameras refused to show him (ugh), but two fan videos—and the brilliant photo seen above—captured most of the event....

Adrián Beltré Tried To Scam His Way From First To Third
It wasn’t quite as iconic as the absolutely perfect time he moved the on-deck circle last year. But Adrián Beltré continues to be the best in the world at turning otherwise mundane baseball plays into bursts of fun. In this case, it didn’t amount to anything tangible for his team, but you have to ad...

Deadspin Up All Night: Sometimes Friends Are Mean
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. It’s all good....

Jason Kelce Says An Eagles Fan Poured Their Grandfather's Ashes Into A Teammate's Hands
Eagles center Jason Kelce had a wild and memorable time at the team’s Super Bowl parade in February, but it seems that one of the more outlandish things that happened to him escaped the view of the cameras....