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Rockies Extend Vivacious, Pure, Witty, Suave, Athletic, Cordial, Bearded Strategist<em></em>
The Rockies have extended leadoff hitter Charlie Blackmon with a six-year deal, ensuring that at least one part of the team’s core will be around for the long haul. Blackmon, who was drafted by the club in 2008 and has been with them since, was otherwise set to become a free agent this winter. He wo...
Markelle Fultz Update: Hey, He Took A Three!
It’s been a little more than a week since Markelle Fultz was activated to begin play for the first time since October, after months of working on rehabbing his busted shot. Entering tonight’s game against the Pistons, he’d shot 17-of-39 from the field since his return, but not one of those shot atte...
Deadspin Up All Night: Best Boy Band Since One Direction
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. These dudes are alright....
John Kruk Hints At The Gross Thing He Did As A Player During Rain Delays
Today’s Phillies-Mets game broadcast only on Facebook was fittingly delayed nearly two hours due to rain, so announcer Scott Braun asked color commentator Cliff Floyd what he did to pass the time during rain delays. Floyd said he’d text with friends, watch whatever other game was on, and try to stay...
Manchester City Arrives For Champions League Match In Post-Apocalyptic Liverpool
Manchester City had a crazy bus ride into Anfield today ahead of their Champions League match against Liverpool, as the soon-to-be English champions were greeted by passionate home supporters who happened also to be armed with projectiles and flares. Alternately, if you don’t know the context, the ...
23 Things I Say To My Kids Every Goddamn Spring Break<em></em>
I am a dad at all times but Spring Break is when I am, without fail, at my MOST dad. It combines all the prime elements of flustered dadding: travel, overpriced food, renting things, lines, dealing with people behind counters, frantic searches for alcohol, and such and such. It’s not so much a vacat...
The Sixers Beat The Nets So Badly They Played The Sixers Victory Song With 11 Seconds Left
The Sixers do not have Joel Embiid for the foreseeable future. He’s out after surgery for a fractured orbital bone. So far, that has not mattered. ...
It's Time For Another Entry In The Stupidly Deep Oeuvre Of Sweet Jackie Bradley, Jr. Catches
Would you like to see the empty eyes of a man who’s almost positive that he’s just fucked up, with nothing left for him to do about it? From the second inning of tonight’s Red Sox-Marlins game, here’s Chris Sale after leaving one right over the plate for Justin Bour:...
Deadspin Up All Night: There's An Army On The Dance Floor
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The Rams Get Richer, Trade For Brandin Cooks
The New England Patriots spent a first- and third-round pick to get Brandin Cooks from the Saints last offseason, and now they’ve dealt the receiver (along with a fourth-round pick) to the Rams in exchange for a first- and sixth-rounder. That was fast!...
Will No One Protect This Aspiring Martial Artist From Himself?<em></em><em></em>
Here are the facts: Sri Lanka recently became one of the latest countries to launch a show in Simon Cowell’s Got Talent! series, which is aptly called Sri Lanka’s Got Talent!; Sudarshana Deshappriya is someone who has Got Talent, martial arts talent to be specific; Deshappriya ran into some painful-...
Is Donald Trump Really "The Michael Jordan Of Political Nicknames?"
Chris Cillizza’s job isn’t as easy as it seems, although it also isn’t nearly difficult enough to justify the salary he receives for doing it. What that job is even supposed to be is kind of a moving target, to be honest, but much of what Cillizza does in his current position as a political reporter...
Cristiano Ronaldo Executes Juventus With Gorgeous, Leaping Bicycle Kick Goal
In his long and illustrious career, Cristiano Ronaldo has won a billion trophies and scored a zillion goals. Today, just now, at the ripe old age of 33, he has scored one of his most sensational, athletic, instantly iconic goals in Real Madrid’s Champions League match against Juventus:...
Canelo Álvarez Withdraws From His Rematch With GGG
After a positive drug test for a performance-enhancing substance, Canelo Álvarez has officially withdrawn from his May 5 rematch with unified middleweight champion Gennady Golovkin, whom he fought to a controversial draw last September....
The Deadspin Idiots Eat The Horrifying Things Your Grandpas Did
Here at Gizmodo Media Group, we have a functional and powerful union, one that protects us from, say, reading scripts that look like hostage statements or really doing anything debasing and against our will. So while our participation in the video at the top of this post wasn’t exactly involuntary, ...
Report: Dumb Beer Ad Phrase Banned From The Masters
There’s a buzz around this year’s Masters. Tiger Woods is back. “This might be the wildest year in Masters history,” CBS Sports reports. But the biggest news out of Augusta National this week is this: A popular, stupid beer catchphrase has been banned....
How Big Colleges Prey On Fan Loyalty To Fight Back Against Scandals
If you’ve been following the ongoing developments in the Larry Nassar scandal and Michigan State University’s sexual-assault crisis, you’ve recently become familiar with the phrase “#SpartansWill.” If you’ve spent any time around East Lansing, you already knew about it, because it’s all over town. Y...
Deadspin Up All Night: Oh Happy Day
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Good good day. ...
The Banana Has What It Takes To Defeat Gatorade
Midway through her first-round match at the Australian Open this year, world No. 10 CoCo Vandeweghe refused to return to the court until someone brought her a banana....
Deadspin Up All Night: I Am With You
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I dunno, man....