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Vladimir Tarasenko Makes A Little Girl's Birthday
The world is a toilet fire, so you are going to watch this uplifting video, do you hear me? You are going to watch every last second, so help me god, and you and I are going to feel good about something for once, even if it fucking kills us. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Oh It Is A Losing Game
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the last bit of your holiday....
Kings GM Vlade Divac: "I'm The Dumbest Shithead In The NBA," More Or Less<em></em><em></em>
Sacramento Kings GM Vlade Divac made a blockbuster trade yesterday, shipping superstar center DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans for a sack of oranges and a Fast & Furious DVD box set. He faced the music and held a press conference this afternoon, during which he revealed that he allowed h...
Dexter Fowler Isn't Sweating The "Stick To Sports" Crowd
Over the weekend, Cardinals outfielder Dexter Fowler was asked what he thought about Donald Trump’s Muslim travel ban. Fowler has a personal stake in the ban, as his wife is from Iran and his sister-in-law recently cancelled a return trip from Qatar because she didn’t want to be detained. Given thes...
Good Soccer Man Embarrasses A Quartet Of Defenders
Jonathan Mejía and his UCAM Murcia squad lost to Real Valladolid on Saturday in some hot second-division Spanish soccer action, but really, who cares, for young Mejía scored the goal of his life. Look at the Honduran international turn these four dudes into jelly....
The Sacramento Kings Deserve All The Failures To Come
Being a Kings fan is an exercise in managing constant, crushing disappointment. Aside from one anomalous stretch in the early 2000s, the team has never been worth a damn, and even then, their high watermark was getting owned in humiliating fashion by the Lakers. Last night’s disastrous DeMarcus Cous...
How To Keep A Healthy Distance From Your Terrible Co-Workers
One look at the way I operate around my co-workers and you’d think I’m anti-social and evil. I don’t talk to these people, I don’t let them talk to me, and I keep all group participation levels to an absolute minimum. Simply put, if I don’t have to interact with them, I don’t. I’m not evil, though. ...
The DeMarcus Cousins Trade May Have Set Us Up For A Spicy Trade Deadline
One of the cool things about a blockbuster trade coming early in the trade deadline period is how its aftershocks set up the rest of the trade window to play out much differently than it was expected to....
24 Questions I Have About <i>The Accountant<em></em></i>
I watched The Accountant on an airplane last week because that’s the kind of movie you watch on an airplane. And even though it effectively bled two hours off the flight, I have many questions:...
Who Else Could Have Made A Play For DeMarcus Cousins?
As you surely know by now, last night the Sacramento Kings traded DeMarcus Cousins (and Omri Casspi) to the New Orleans Pelicans for rookie Buddy Hield, veterans Tyreke Evans and Langston Galloway, a protected 2017 first-round draft choice, and a 2017 second-round pick. Now that we know what type of...
Just What The Hell Were The Kings Thinking?
Let’s accept for a moment that DeMarcus Cousins is the rottenest asshole in the NBA, that the Sacramento Kings were never going to reach anything higher than a seventh or eighth seed with him on the roster, that Cousins was leaving in free agency as soon as he could, and that trading him now was the...
If At First You Don't Succeed
Antetokounmpo....
Reports: DeMarcus Cousins Traded To New Orleans Pelicans
The first blockbuster of NBA trade-deadline season has arrived. According to several reports on Twitter, the Sacramento Kings have agreed to trade DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans, where he will join fellow former Kentucky Wildcat big man (and MVP of tonight’s All-Star Game) Anthony Davi...
Brad Stevens Is Real Jazzed
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Mark Stone Knocked Out Of Game By Being Checked In The Head
Jacob Trouba’s shoulder cracked Mark Stone’s face and knocked the Senators forward out of the game—drawing just a two-minute minor penalty, to the dismay of Ottawa fans and coach Guy Boucher....
Deadspin Up All Night: Let's Make This Night Last Forever
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The weather was very beautiful here today, and I hope it was where you were, too....
Jered Weaver And The Padres Are The Perfect Sad Pairing
Jered Weaver has been a punchline more so than an effective pitcher for a while now, going back to about the time his fastball velocity started jumping off a cliff:...
DNCE Stands For "Destroyed Nearby Crowd's Ears"
Move over, Aloe Blacc. There’s a new worst NBA All-Star-related musical performance, and it’s this hilariously off-key appearance by Joe Jonas....
Deadspin Up All Night: You're Not Bitter
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. See you all tomorrow, unless you aren’t here. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Don't Feed Guerillas
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Peace....