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Deadspin Up All Night: Who The Hell Are You?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep the beat going....

Terrible Careers My Dad Recommended
What should I be when I grow up?...

Soccer Fans Toss Big-Ass Firecracker At Player, Who Hurls Corner Flag At Them In Return
IFK Göteborg were set to host Malmö for a regularly scheduled, 90-minute Swedish league match yesterday. But towards the end of the game, some fans threw a huge firecracker at Malmö’s Tobias Sana, and Sana returned the favor by firing one of the corner flags javelin-like in the fans’ direction, and ...

Vancouver Whitecaps Fan Throws Popcorn At Player, Fights Security
MLS fans agitating players and getting into fights in the stands? Maybe they really are getting the hang of this soccer thing, after all!...

Deadspin Up All Night: Hold Tight
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Drink water....

12-Year-Old Girl Accidentally Runs Half-Marathon
Last night I “accidentally” forgot to go to the gym and ordered Domino’s instead....

Saúl Ñíguez Dances Through Bayern Defense, Gives Atlético 1-0 Lead
Check out this ridiculous run right here, and remember that Saúl Ñíguez is a central midfielder not at all known for his dribbling ability, and marvel at his awkward grace as he skates by Bayern Munich’s whole defense and scores:...

A Young Parent’s Guide To Raffi
The day starts well enough: no hangover, no fighting before bedtime, no crying from the nursery, no staring through the darkness at indeterminate hours wondering in what direction, if any, my life is headed....

Diego Simeone Suspended Rest Of La Liga Season For Bizarre Ball-Throwing Incident
The bit of unsportsmanlike conduct you see above comes from Atlético Madrid’s home match against Málaga this past weekend. As you can see, with Málaga in behind Atleti’s defense and acres of green ahead, some ball boy tosses another ball onto the pitch, presumably to distract the players and/or bait...

High School Basketball Star Says He Didn't Know He Was 29 Years Old
Last week it was revealed that Jonathan Nicola, a 6-foot-9 junior tearing it up for Catholic Central High School in Windsor, Ontario, was not indeed a 17-year-old kid dunking on a bunch of fellow teens, but instead a 29-year-old man dunking on a bunch of unsuspecting teens. Nicola told authorities i...

Where Does Sam Bradford Go From Here?
Trade demands are all about leverage. Does the threat of a holdout or a season-long sulk session carry enough weight to force the Eagles to move Sam Bradford, even after they’ve paid him a significant signing bonus? Does it justify Philly perhaps accepting a smaller return, now that Bradford’s gone ...

Dog On The Field
Have you ever wanted to check out a Copa Libertadores game? Not as much as this dog here, you haven’t. The good boy in question made the absolute most of his time on the pitch, runnin’, yippin’, hootin’, hollerin’, and jumpin’ until he was carried off like a little baby. Even as he was being whisked...

Deadspin Up All Night: You Cannot Tame
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Two Butt Teams Combine To Play Butt Game
Real Madrid and Manchester City—two teams that kind of suck in similar ways, and are lucky to even be here thanks to their fortunate draws leading up to this point—met in the Champions League semifinal today. It should’ve been one of the best matches of the year, pitting two greats of Europe in a cl...

A Complete, Jovial Guide To The 2016 Senate Races
With six months and change still to go until November 8, you’ve probably learned more this election cycle than you ever hoped to hear about loony wall-construction-financing schemes, losing unspecified competitions to China, and/or the self-reported approximate dimensions of a certain candidate’s ge...

Does An Intentional Walk Ruin A No-Hitter?
Okay, so before I get into the Funbag, some quick appearance news. I’m gonna be at this big Towson sports career speaker series on draft night. It’s at the Greene Turtle (CLASSY), and open to the public. Also, next month, I’m gonna read the first couple of chapters from The Hike over at the Howard C...

The Time Hunter S. Thompson Passed Out In A Pool And Missed The Rumble In The Jungle
The classic 1974 Ali-Foreman fight in Zaire attracted, among other things, famous writers like Norman Mailer and George Plimpton and even ol’ Hunter Thompson. But while Mailer and Plimpton and the rest of the world marveled at Ali’s command performance, Thompson, well, he experienced the fight as on...

Hillsborough Inquest Finds Police Error Led To Deaths Of 96 Soccer Fans
After a two-year inquest—the longest in British history—a nine-person jury has found that 96 Liverpool fans who died attending the 1988-89 FA Cup Semifinal between Nottingham Forest and Liverpool at Hillsborough Stadium were unlawfully killed....

Deadspin Up All Night: Crew Cut!
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