Things Said By Donald Trump's Nutjob Doctor, Ranked By How Insane They Are

Today NBC News released details of an interview with Donald Trump’s possibly non-HIPAA-compliant personal doctor Harold Bornstein. Bornstein issued a statement praising Trump’s health back in December, and today we learned that statement was drafted in all of five minutes. We learned a lot more about Dr. Bornstein, too—specifically that he’s a complete nutjob. Here, then, are things he told NBC News, ranked by how insane they are:

8. “I like Donald Trump because I think he likes me.”

7. “I don’t think he’s in any better or worse than the average person that goes and exercises every single day.”

6. “In a rush, I think some of those words didn’t come out exactly the way they were meant.”

5. “I think I picked up his kind of language and then just interpreted it to my own.”

4. “I thought about it all day, and at the end, I get rushed and I get anxious when I get rushed. So, I try to get four or five lines done as fast as possible that they would be happy with.”

3. “[Previous U.S. presidents were] paranoid [...] psychotic.”

2. [Asked how he could justify claiming Trump would be the healthiest individual ever elected]:“I like that sentence to be quite honest with you and all the rest of them are either sick or dead.”

1. “He would be fit because I think his brain is turned on 24 hours a day.”

Bornstein has a Twitter account— kind of—and so does his wife, though her most recent tweet is (Update, 12:27 a.m.: deleted):

(She follows Trump on Twitter; he doesn’t.)

Dr. Bornstein also occasionally leaves brutal reviews on TripAdvisor...

The $300 per couple meal plan is a jip. However, if you order from the menu you will find that they have obscenely overpiced everything which makes the food undigestible from the start.

...and in 2003, filed for a trademark on “ Compassionate Colonoscopy.”

Bornstein has been treating Donald Trump for 35 years. CNN checked into his background, and states that while Bornstein has admitting privileges at Lenox Hill hospital he is not, as he claims, a member of that hospital’s gastroenterology section. Bornstein also claims to be a fellow of the American College of Gastroenterology; that hasn’t been true for more than 20 years.