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Wladimir Klitschko Retains Heavyweight Belt With 5th-Round Pulev KO
Wladimir Klitschko's eight-year reign as the world heavyweight champion will continue after making easy work of previously-undefeated Kubrat Pulev in Hamburg tonight, winning with a fifth-round knockout....

Report: Adrian Peterson Skips Previously Agreed To Hearing With NFL
Since pleading no contest to child injury charges almost two weeks ago, Adrian Peterson has been embroiled in a dispute with the NFL about when he can return to the field. A Facebook post from Adam Schefter reveals that Peterson and the NFL had previously agreed to a disciplinary hearing scheduled...

You Can Still See The Jaguars Logo At Wembley For Today's Soccer Match
England is playing Slovenia at Wembley today in a crucial Euro 2016 qualifier, and it appears they weren't able to entirely remove the Jaguars logo from last week's Jacksonville-Dallas game there. Expect England to lose by 40....

How To Make Tuna-Bean Salad, Cheap Chow To Feel Good About
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner is friend of the program and pork belly enthusiast Miserable Shitehawk....

Knicks Lose Despite Carmelo's Clutch Three With Seconds Remaining
Carmelo Anthony hit a clutch, tying three-pointer with two seconds remaining in the Knicks' game tonight in New York against the Jazz. The Knicks still lost, in regulation, thanks to Trey Burke's buzzer-beater....

Deadspin Up All Night: Catching The Dream
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Butts....

Olbermann: If Pro Sports Want Legal Gambling, Help Gambling Addicts
Adam Silver's op-ed in the New York Times in support of legalized sports gambling reversed the long history of professional sports outwardly demonizing gambling while stage whispering all the information with which gamblers can make their decisions. If we bring gambling out of the shadows and, you k...

A.J. Burnett Gave Up $4.25 Million To Get Off The Phillies
A.J. Burnett will rejoin the Pirates, signing a one-year deal that will pay him $8.5 million. Getting that figure is crucial, because now we can put an exact dollar amount on Burnett's desire to get out of Philadelphia and back to Pittsburgh....

The Skillet You Want, Your New Home Theater, and More Deals
Lodge is the cast-iron you're looking for. This 10" skillet is down to $15, and now you know you can clean it with soap....

Report: Royals And Chiefs Concessions Are Disgusting, Unhygienic Mess
Were you one of those fans fortunate enough to see the Royals' magical postseason run in person, or perhaps you're a loyal Chiefs supporter? If so good for you, but it means you probably ate some mold or rodent shit. ...

Joakim Noah To Derrick Rose Critics: "Chill The Fuck Out"
No one in Chicago is talking about the third quarter of last night's Bulls game, when the team held the Toronto Raptors to 14 points right in front of Drake and God. Everyone is, rather, talking about the fourth quarter, when Derrick Rose left what was on the verge of becoming a nearly close game a...

Michael Carter-Williams, Professed Non-Tanker, Tanks
The 76ers are a sorry excuse for a professional sports franchise. Last season they had the second worst record in the league. During the draft this offseason they had two top-12 picks, and chose to take a guy that has a season-long injury and a guy that is going to play in Europe this year. They'v...

Derrick Rose Is Injured, Again
Derrick Rose appears to be out for the game after hurting his leg late in tonight's matchup in Toronto against the Raptors. I know, that seems impossible to believe. But it's true! Here's the evidence so you can see it for yourself. ...

NBA Commissioner Announces Support For Legalized Sports Gambling
NBA Commissioner Adam Silver has broken ranks with his sports executive brethren, and announced his support for an expansion of legalized sports gambling in the United States in a New York Times op-ed. Silver points out that, despite its widespread illegality, sports gambling is a massive, and growi...

Deadspin Up All Night: Catching Feelings
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a fantastic evening....

Bruins Go Down 1-0 In First Period; Young Fan Loses All Sense Of Chill
This kid is apparently six years old, and that is an unsettling piece of information given the fact that he sounds like a nine-week-old baby when he gets upset. Anyway, he's mad because he's just watched his beloved Bruins go down 1-0 to the Leafs in the first period. ...

Your Best Photoshops Of That Wacky Mark Sanchez Photo
Earlier this week we asked you to Photoshop this goofy Getty Images photo of Mark Sanchez. Your contributions were outstanding! Here are some of our favorites....

Adam Silver Responds To NBA Union By Writing Random Words
This morning, ESPN The Magazine published an interview with new NBPA executive director Michele Roberts, in which she laid out why NBA owners aren't worth shit to the league, and are functionally the most replaceable bodies. This afternoon, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver issued a statement comprising ...

We Improved A Billy Joel Song By Replacing Him With Jay-Z
We all know that Billy Joel sucks (especially lately), but as SB Nation's Spencer Hall recently noted, there's a portion of nearly every one of his songs that's really great. (You can usually blame Joel's rock-solid rhythm section of Liberty DeVitto and Doug Stegmeyer for that.) ...

LeBron James's Silly Baby Wouldn't Go To Sleep Last Night
LeBron James's daughter was born in October, and that means LeBron has to be on early morning baby duty when he's at home, just like every other poor schmuck in America who has a baby....