ah Page 354 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's A Good Way To Get Ejected From A Football Game
It's also a good way to become paralyzed....
Percy Harvin Traded To Jets; Marshawn Lynch Is Sad
What the hell? The Seahawks are reportedly shipping wide receiver Percy Harvin to the Jets for a conditional draft pick. Jay Glazer had the scoop first....
The Players' Tribune Says Nothing—And That's The Point
“Derek” is thinking about his next step. “Russell” wants to make a difference. “Danica” updates her relationship status. “Blake” is really glad his creepy boss is gone....
Bucs Employee Arrested For DUI, Allegedly Rear-Ended Car At Taco Bell
Buccaneers director of player development Isaiah Harris was arrested at a Tampa Taco Bell early this morning on a charge of driving under the influence....
Damn, Millennials, Pizza Hut Thinks You're Super Boring
Much of the content of this Washington Post report on the diverging fortunes of delivery pizza giants Domino's and Pizza Hut—the former is thriving, the latter not s'much—passes harmlessly overhead, as remote and incomprehensible as solar wind washing harmlessly over the Earth's magnetic field. Dom...
Pete Carroll Bluffs His Way Through Press Conference About Rugby Leaguer
Rumors have had Jarryd Hayne talking with the Seahawks, so at his press conference yesterday, Pete Carroll was peppered with questions about the rugby league star who announced this week he's leaving Australia to chase his NFL dreams. He performed admirably, gushing about Hayne. The Seahawks PR guy ...
Jarrod Dyson Claims An Oriole Deliberately Kneed Him In The Head
Jarrod Dyson said he believes Orioles 3B Ryan Flaherty deliberately "put a knee down" on him on a pickoff attempt last night, as retaliation for his earlier comments that this ALCS would be a short one....
Adirondack Flames Snuff Out Scorch, The Firefighter-Murdering Mascot
Choosing to go in a different direction than the wanton killing of first responders, the AHL's Adirondack Flames have decided to smother the short, eventful life of would-be mascot Scorch....
<em>Happy Valley's</em> Catherine Cawood Is Your New Favorite TV Detective
If you've ever watched any cop shows on Netflix, you've no doubt had a recommendation for their original series Happy Valley pop up somewhere on your screen as you plumb the depths of the streaming service for some goddamn thing to watch on a Tuesday night. I'm here to tell you that you should go ...
The Professional: Donald E. Westlake
Donald E. Westlake (1933-2008) was one of our most prolific and entertaining writers. Now, we've got this posthumous treat: The Getaway Car: A Donald Westlake Nonfiction Miscellany, published by the University of Chicago Press and edited by Levi Stahl. The book is a ton of fun. I recently had the ch...
Drunk Seahawks Fan Has Foolproof Plan For Hanging On To Her Purse
High on the list of shit you don't wanna deal with when you're hammered is "carrying stuff." Having to carry literally anything that is not a slice of pizza while drunk is one of life's biggest drags, because your inebriated subconscious will do whatever it can to drive you to drop or misplace that ...
No, That Eagles Employee Wasn't Celebrating Victor Cruz's Injury
Up there is the front page of today's New York Daily News: a guy in an Eagles polo seemingly gloating over a crumpled, injured Victor Cruz on the ground. "PHILTHY," indeed. Of course, the photo captures only one frame. What do moving pictures show?...
Terrance Williams's Catch Was Great, But Tony Romo's Throw Was Better
The best and most important play on Sunday was Tony Romo's hookup with Terrance Williams on a third-and-20, keeping alive a fourth-quarter drive that would end in the Cowboys' go-ahead touchdown against the Seahawks. There had been 55 third-and-at-least-20s to that point in the season, according to ...
Seahawks Fans Forced To Watch Entire Panthers-Bengals OT, Are Pissed
Seahawks fans across the Great Northwest found themselves the victim of arcane NFL broadcast rules after Fox selected today's awful Panthers-Bengals game for bonus coverage, only to find it go to overtime and then finish in a tie....
Tony Romo Hobbled By Huge Bobby Wagner Hit
This is a clean hit, though it left Tony Romo in tiny little pieces, all scattered across the CenturyLink Field turf. Somehow they swept enough of them up and glued them together in time for the next Dallas drive, because Romo was back behind center moments later....
Kevin Durant Out For A While With A Fractured Foot
The Thunder will start their regular season without their best player. Kevin Durant's been diagnosed with a Jones fracture in his right foot and will miss a significant amount of time....
Texas Clobbering Oklahoma, Trailing By 4
When you have 14 first downs to your opponent's one, and 278 total yards to your opponent's 29, you might expect to have a lead. But then again, you might not be the 2014 edition of the Texas Longhorns....
That's Good Kickoff Coverage, Texas
Oklahoma's Alex Ross leads the nation in kickoff returns, and his average will spike upward with yet another return for touchdown—thanks to some putrid coverage on behalf of the Texas Longhorns....
Hockey Fight Ends In Player's Head Being Bashed Into The Ice
Your ugly ice hockey fight of the night comes from the AHL, where Trevor Gillies of the Adirondack Flames grabbed Rochester forward William Carrier's head and bashed it into the ice....