ah Page 354 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joakim Noah To Derrick Rose Critics: "Chill The Fuck Out"
No one in Chicago is talking about the third quarter of last night's Bulls game, when the team held the Toronto Raptors to 14 points right in front of Drake and God. Everyone is, rather, talking about the fourth quarter, when Derrick Rose left what was on the verge of becoming a nearly close game a...
Ducks Have Mumps
Despite it being 2014, some hockey players have the mumps. Anaheim Ducks leading goalscorer Corey Perry is over his bout after missing four games, while defenseman Francois Beauchemin is still contagious and must remain quarantined....
Is CenturyLink Field Selling Watered-Down Beer?
A Seattle news station purchased multiple beers at Seahawks and Sounders games, had them tested, and discovered that in every case, the samples' ABV were below those beers' advertised numbers—sometimes illegally so....
Marshawn Lynch Makes Seahawks Kicker Steven Hauschka Dance With Him
Steven Hauschka isn't really "dancing"; he's basically moving around so Marshawn Lynch doesn't inadvertently horse-collar him. If Beast Mode wants to dance, you dance....
Seahawks Mascot's Tail Looks Like A Big Ol' Dong
Seahawks punter Jon Ryan's girlfriend Sarah Colonna took a photo with team mascot Blitz. Ryan later noticed that Blitz's tail was in the photo, but it didn't look like his tail....
Seahawks Mascot Decides To Hang Out With Fans In The Stands
Taima the Augur hawk didn't feel like following her usual flight around the stadium before today's Giants-Seahawks game. She took a detour and landed on a Seahawks fan, because she's a hawk and can do whatever she wants. Taima could have picked a closer seat for the game, though....
Receiver's Blunder Turns 78 Yard TD Catch Into 100 Yard Fumble Return
Kaelin Clay should have had a 79-yard touchdown catch to put Utah up 14-0 on Oregon. Instead, the Ducks tied the game when Clay dropped the ball short of the goal line and Oregon's Joe Walker picked it up to go the entire length of the field in the opposite direction....
Crotch-Grabbin' Holgo Is The Best Holgo
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Baylor Wins In Norman For The First Time As Sooners Fans Lament
Baylor kicked the unholy dogshit out of Oklahoma today, a turn of affairs that many Sooners fans, raised to believe in lasting hierarchies of college football, simply cannot countenance. And how can you blame them? For generations, the people of the allegedly great state of Oklahoma have relied on...
Real Housewives Of Kenya: Jeptoo's Husband Alleges Doping, But Proves Blackmail
You can't make this stuff up. Kenyan runner Rita Jeptoo's estranged husband, Noah Busienei, produced a letter dated April 2013 from his lawyer to Jeptoo threatening to reveal her doping, which he alleged had been happening since September 2011, to Athletics Kenya and WADA unless she paid him off. T...
Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...
AHL Changes Rules To Stop Goalies From Flipping Their Own Nets
On Sunday, Bridgeport Sound Tigers goalie David Leggio escaped a 2-on-0 breakaway by toppling his own net, happily opting to face (and stopping) a penalty shot. Terrified that the move would inspire other netminders, the AHL has enacted a rule change....
Gordon Hayward Locks Up LeBron, Nails Game Winner
Things aren't getting any better for LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. A night after James failed to score in the second half of a blowout loss against the Trail Blazers, they were undone in Utah by this Gordon Hayward game winner. James was guarding Hayward initially, but was felled by a De...
Perry Jones Gets Injured, Further Proves Thunder Are Cursed
Injuries are normal in basketball, and every year there's at least one team that draws the short end of the stick and gets hit with a wave. But what the Thunder are going through right now is something else, their playoff chances in the ultra competitive West diminishing every single day. Already fa...
Fuck Kevin Durant
Tomorrow night, the world will be subjected to The Offseason: Kevin Durant, an HBO show marketed as a documentary that depicts what The Servant has been up to since the end of the Western Conference Finals. You might think it would be interesting, seeing that over the summer Durant (briefly) played ...
We're Really Excited About This Nets Game
Oklahoma City's MASH unit is in town to play the Nets tonight. Should be a good one. ...
Some Cool Dynamic-Focus Photos Of Raiders-Seahawks
Here's a set of Lytro photos we came across this morning. Lytro cameras let you focus on different parts of an image, but haven't really been picked up by mainstream photogs for action shots, so this is cool. ...
Brilliant Goalie Knocks Over Own Net Rather Than Face A 2-On-0
Thirty-year-old David Leggio has never made the big show—but you don't spend that long in the minor leagues without learning a few tricks. In a game yesterday, the netminder for the AHL's Bridgeport Sound Tigers saw his team turn the puck over at center ice, so he immediately toppled his own net t...