ah Page 421 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's The Bizarre Kristi Malzahn Interview Somebody's Trying To Sweep Off The Internet
We became aware of this a while ago, but seeing as how all public copies seem to have been swept off the web here's the wife of new Arkansas State head football coach Gus Malzahn acting very strangely at a church in Springdale, Ark. It is, alas, an edited version (sports agent John Phillips is tak...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Balotelli was involved with a training spat with teammate Micah Richards today, his third practice scuffle since last year. City is addressing the problem: they're building a fence at the training ground so reporters can't see the fights....

Gifts For Sports Fans Who Wear Clothes
Buying apparel for the sports fan is a slippery slope. You know they want to show loyalty to their team, but wearing a jersey outside the stadium or sports bar isn't acceptable once they're 18. We've put together some options that manage to ooze fandom and class....
![Pitt's Football Coach Told His Players He Quit Via A Forwarded Text Message [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4q1jqk7geijpg.jpg)
Pitt's Football Coach Told His Players He Quit Via A Forwarded Text Message [UPDATE]
Todd Graham came on as Pitt's football coach last January, and he almost lasted an entire year with the Panthers. He announced today that he's leaving, after a 6-6 season in Pittsburgh, for sunny Arizona State University....

Gifts For People Who Like Bacon
Sometimes, humans get a primal craving in the caveman center of their brains that nothing else can satisfy. We'll help you out with this gift guide that doubles as a friend test: if somebody doesn't appreciate one of the delicious or useful bacon-related products, this is probably not someone you ne...

Kendrick Perkins Lost A Bunch Of Weight During The Lockout
So what if Perk was miserable about getting traded to OKC? So what if his team got bounced from the playoffs while he played a minor role? So what if he got arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct in August?...

Your Patronizingly Edited Monday Night Football "Highlights"
Last night's Monday Night Football game between the Rams and Seahawks was, predictably, terrible, and you probably didn't watch it. So here's what you missed, edited in a patronizing manner. [ESPN]...

Tarvaris Jackson Honors The Age-Old Tradition Of The No-Look Shotgun-Snap Catch
Your morning roundup for Dec. 13, the day we learned even babies know you're full of shit. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Gifts For People Who Golf
Got a golfer in your life? Tired of buying all that Golf in the Kingdom crap? This guide is for you. Leave any suggestions in the comments....

Why Albert Pujols Really Doesn't Care About The Money
Infographics: we have them! Click to enlarge. Turns out that by moving to a state with one of the highest income tax rates in the nation, Albert Pujols has a legitimate claim to not worrying about the extra "$3 or $4 million a year" he's getting from the Angels. Meanwhile, the zero state income tax ...

"Unbelievable!" Indiana Beats #1 Kentucky On Buzzer-Beating Three-Pointer
On a day that already saw the #2 team in the country fall, the Indiana Hoosiers brought down top-ranked Kentucky on this buzzer-beating three-pointer that left Dick Vitale a puddly mess of screams and IU coach Tom Crean shaking his head in disbelief.[ESPN]...

Oakland A's Trade All-Star Pitcher Not Named Gio Gonzalez, Twitter Is Validated
Oakland pulled off a trade yesterday, sending Trevor Cahill, Craig Breslow and some cash to the Diamondbacks. In return, Oakland received "one of the Diamondbacks' top young pitching prospects, right-hander Jarrod Parker, plus outfielder Collin Cowgill and reliever Ryan Cook, a pair of rookies."...

Gifts For People Who Drink
You and your friends have decided to exchange gifts for the holidays. And you're stumped: It's not like you're going to get one of your boys clothing or jewelry, and it's not like any of you would suggest something on the order of a "stocking stuffer," since your girlfriend can worry about that....

Here's The Newspaper Ad Albert Pujols Took Out To Thank St. Louis Fans
It's become almost expected for itinerant athletes to go the newspaper ad route when leaving town, and at this point free agency might be the only thing keeping print media alive. Pujols took out a full-page ad on C10 of today's Post-Dispatch fondly reminiscing on his time in St. Louis, but the typi...

A Little Pujols Math To Infuriate Cardinals Fans
In 2009, Albert Pujols said this:...

Kindergarteners Welcome New Jaguars Owner With Heartwarming Song, And One Kid's Wearing A "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" Shirt
Here's Ms. Goleski's kindergarten class in Neptune Beach with their charming rendition of "Shahid Khan Is Coming To Town." Note the young man in back with this "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" t-shirt, partially covered up by taped-on construction paper. Strong work, Ms. Goleski. [h/t John]...

Not Even Degenerate Gamblers Care About Monday's Horrible Rams/Seahawks Game
According to Bodog's Sportsbook Manager, this week's Monday Night Football game is shaping up to see a historical lack of action. Says Richard Gardner, "with Bradford and Feeley both being questionable, and the fact that the game is on the West Coast this game is pacing to be the lowest bet Monday N...

NFL Owners Exist To Be Hated
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Are You Ready For This Mustache?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
![Raheem Brock To Washington State Cops During DUI Stop: "You Guys Don't Take Care Of Your Athletes Out Here?" [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4qydm504ppjpg.jpg)
Raheem Brock To Washington State Cops During DUI Stop: "You Guys Don't Take Care Of Your Athletes Out Here?" [UPDATED]
Maybe there was a reason Seahawks defensive end Raheem Brock felt he was within his rights pull a dine and dash on a $27 tab at a Philly restaurant, his conviction for which we told you about last week. It seems Brock is used to getting preferential treatment from police in Philly and in other plac...