ah Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

HOLY SHIT MONSTER JELLYFISH
That's the lion's mane jellyfish, which lives in the ocean and can apparently devour cities whole. I had no fucking idea this existed. COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAME. I'm never going in the ocean again. Ever. I'm afraid to even take a goddamn bath now, lest this thing ooze out of the pipes and eats my ...

<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....

NBA Admits That Kendrick Perkins Should Have Had Two Points Instead Of Four On Sunday
If you watched the Thunder-Nuggets game on Sunday night, you probably remember this play, which came with just over a minute remaining in the fourth quarter. Kendrick Perkins, the Oklahoma City big man who has struggled a bit — with injury and with scoring — since he arrived from Boston in Februar...

Here's Video Of A Really Cool Goal From A Dutch Soccer Match Yesterday
In yesterday's Dutch league action, Roda was up 4-2 on VVV Venlo. That's when Pa Modou Kah, described as a Gambian/Norwegian defender, decided to go all "pretty scissor kick" to add a fifth goal to the tally....

Here's Video Of A Kevin Durant Fan Getting "Thunder" Tattooed On Her Thigh
Thanks to Royce from DailyThunder.com for sharing what he deemed "Potentially insane female Thunder fan gets massive tattoo on her thigh." When the team moves back to Seattle, Royce will have used one word too many and Priscilla, well, Priscilla seems like she'll be just fine with it anyway....

Josh Elliott Reluctantly Submits To An Interview With Us Before His Last Day At ESPN
Some of you may know Josh Elliott as the soon-to-be former co-anchor of ESPN's morning "SportsCenter". Some of you may not know him at all. If you were not familiar with his work along side Hannah Storm, you missed out. We had no idea he read our site. We really appreciate him taking the time on his...

NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....

And When It Was All Over, Rory McIlroy Sought Solace In The Arms Of Vince McMahon's Kid
Your morning roundup for April 11, the day we remembered that Sidney Lumet also directed The Wiz....

A Bunch Of Guys Who Dyed Their Hair Blondish Won The NCAA Hockey Championship Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 10, the day a Virginia elementary school principal assures you the fourth-grade teacher didn't really put black and mixed-race students up for sale....

There Were No Fans Or Cars In Attendance At This Incredible High School Dunk Contest
These are the highlights to the first-ever Ballislife All American Dunk Contest, which by our first appraisal seems more impressive than both the McDonald's contest and the one that featured Kias and choruses a few months ago. A few names here you can expect to see in next year's college rounds: A...

If Boston Gets Swept By Cleveland Today, Red Sox Nation May Implode
The Red Sox, predicted by many to win it all this year, are still without a win five games into the season. Naturally, there's a discussion board up on the Globe website today titled "Panic Time?" Is it? Last night against Cleveland, Kevin Youkilis attempted to intentionally drop a line drive to tur...

Derrick Mason Says Roger Goodell Is A Joke For HGH Stance
This is not going to make America's $1 Commissioner very happy: Derrick Mason, Ravens wide receiver and an NFL vet so tenured that he debuted with the Tennessee Oilers, thinks Roger Goodell is a joke....

Callahan Breaks Ankle After Chara Shot; Rangers' Body Count Piles Up Again
This hurts to watch. In a 5-3 win over Boston last night, the kind of win that Rangers fans have dreamed of, the kind that eliminated Toronto from playoff contention and made it that much harder for Carolina to worm its way in, there was so much good. The Rangers scored five unanswered goals. It s...

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....

Ex-NBA Ref Attacks Dominique Wilkins Over Clothing Tab, Gets Black Eye, Plans To Sue
An ex-NBA ref named Rashan S. Michel lingered in Philips Arena after the Hawks-Magic game last night with the express purpose of demanding about $12,500 from Hall of Famer and Hawks analyst Dominique Wilkins. As seen in the TMZ-branded video above, Michel confronted Wilkins, shoved him, punched a ...

Timing The Trots For Six Famous Home Runs; Or, Bo Jackson Will Blow Your Mind
As a Brewers fan, it's pretty common to hear from others around the NL Central that no one is worse at watching and admiring his home runs than Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. And while I can understand where these Cards and Cubs fans are coming from, I don't completely agree. After all, I get to see...

Vince Carter Reminds Us That He's Still Vince Carter
A chin-strapped, goateed Vince Carter took off against the Thunder last night and, with a quick spin-move into the block and a graceful reverse dunk, returned us all to a time when he was Half Amazing. Carter has been in the league for 12 years and he's still averaging close to 15 points per game ...

<em>Madden NFL 12</em> Said to Include Concussions to Present a Safety Message
Remarkably, Madden NFL 12 will depict players suffering concussions, according to the president of the NFL Players' Association, but apparently in a manner that reinforces the seriousness of the injury and the message that playing through one is not a… [Kotaku] ...

Here's Tim Tebow's New Jockey Ad, Kind Of
With apologies to King Herod, we've provided a slight edit to possible NFL starter and definite advertising boon Tim Tebow's brand new Jockey ad. The company released this spot today, and it is somehow even more reverential and vanilla than we ever could have imagined it to be. When Tim Tebow is m...

Broken, Bitter Isiah Thomas Still Loves The Game
Loves basketball. Wants to be in it forever. Not so much love for his once and future rivals, Jordan, Bird, Magic....