ah Page 444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...
And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....
Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...
Meet Tyler Lewis: The No-Look-Passing, Ankle-Breaking Teenager
Here's video of a high school sophomore who, since he's white, will be compared endlessly to Steve Nash. While not Nash-level yet, he has a lot going for him: great floor-vision, superior play-making skills, and not being Guerdwich Montimere. [Hoops Doctors, ONEentertainmentHOOPS.com]...
Coach Unaware He's Mimicking Dance Squad's Every Move
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Awesome Track Coach Wins League Championship By Disqualifying Girl For Friendship Bracelet
South Pasadena High pole vaulter Robin Laird thought she won a league championship last month when her final vault clinched the meet. Then the opposing coach helpfully pointed out that she was wearing a string around her wrist. Clutch!...
Barca Striker Is Not Gay, He Insists Loudly
This photo of Barcelona's Gerard Pique and Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been making the rounds, with the expected chatter. Ibra had this to say to a reporter: "Come to my house with your sister and see if I'm queer." [via Dirty Tackle]...
The Freak-Out Over LeBron's Elbow Begins Now
Ball in Europe, citing a source close to the Cavs: "Apparently, the damage is enough that the right arm of King James ... is having great difficulty in carrying anything heavier than a basketball." The hopes of a city, for instance. [BallinEurope.com]...
The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....
Stories That Don't Suck: The Kentucky Derby Is Faulkneresque, Heartbreaking And, As Always, Decadent And Depraved
Every week, Tommy will excerpt a handful of stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that he urges you to read for one reason or another. Today, I'm filling in. Still, send suggestions: [email protected]....
Bobby V Comes Out Of The Closet As Someone Who Doesn't Quite Understand The Closet Metaphor
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Alleged Racism, Confirmed Mustache At Angel Stadium
You'd think the Angels, actively marketed to Latino fans, would be the last team to have their ushers insulting a Hispanic fan for not speaking English, and giving him the finger. Wait, he was a Yankee fan? Carry on, then....
And "Comedy Week" Comes To A Close With An Angry Email From Sarah Silverman
Predictably, my littler temper tantrum about the Sarah Silverman chat did not escape her notice. She justifiably tore me a new asshole for my comments. Let's excerpt a portion of her email....
Microsoft Is Pretty Much Running Seattle Sports
It's not just the WNBA team that's a walking advertisement for Microsoft. The Sounders, Seahawks, and even Pete Carroll's draft strategy are all being brought to you by Bill Gates' brainchild....
In Case You Missed The Horrible Live Chat With Sarah Silverman, Here's A Rundown
From dealing with her handlers or her publicist or assistant or handbag holder or whatever other title given to the people hired to manage Sarah Silverman's Literary Life, this live chat, dear loathsome readers, sucked....
Now's The Time To Talk To Sarah Silverman....
Sarah's down in the comments, awaiting your scorn and scrutiny. Ask her about pooping, talk about your favorite Jews, be insensitive and nasty. You know, be yourselves. Be sure to read the excerpt, buy the book, save the whales....
Excerpt From Sarah Silverman's <em>The Bedwetter</em>
The following is taken from Chapter 1 of Sarah Silverman's memoir, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. Chat with her in a followup post....
Sarah Silverman Will Try To Chat Live On Deadspin at 12:40ish
She needs to familiarize herself with the commenting system but, I am told, she will be ready to go at this time after a brief tutorial. Please come. Bring the usual level of displaced anger. Everyone's having fun.[TheBedwetter]...
Eck
A reader sent this along claiming he could see a sliver of Eck Toe peeking out of those white shorts during this MLB Network interview (I do agree — very out of place for this segment) but I do not....