ah Page 443 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test! Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
John Salley Story Corner: Rick Mahorn's Bad Boy Luck
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Rick Mahorn got expansion-drafted by the Timberwolves....
Let's Laugh At Russell Okung's Useless Holdout
Okung wanted fewer years, and more guaranteed money than Eric Berry. He got neither....
Isiah Thomas Not Through Ruining The Knicks, Apparently
Isiah Thomas is back with the Knicks. BRB, going to jump off of the Gawker roof deck....
Porno For Pyros In The Minors
Come out to the Savannah Sand Gnats game next Saturday. There'll be food giveaways, and live music, and, oh yeah, one lucky fan gets to light a man on fire....
Utah's Ban On Beer Sales Forces Baseball Team To Fold
The independent St. George RoadRunners ceased operations this week, with the owner citing the absence of beer at the ballpark as the critical factor. You try watching semi-pro ball, in the desert, surrounded by Mormons, and do it sober. [Deseret News]...
Mark Wahlberg Says Boring Bristol Is The Reason Why There's So Much Banging Between ESPN Employees
This is not the first time we've heard this theory: "That's why all those people at ESPN are having sex with each other. ... They're doing wife swaps and all sorts of craziness." Horndggity-dog. [BristolToday.com via MovieFone]...
Steve Sarkisian Taunts Lane Kiffin With Cellphone Picture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's favorite embattled college football coach: Lane Kiffin....
Ahmadinejad Says Paul The Octopus Spreading "Western Propaganda And Superstition"
Iran's president accused Paul of representing all that's wrong with western society, in multiple speeches over the weekend. No, I think that was Dutch soccer. [Daily Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]...
On The Other Side Of A No-No, Tigers Learn How To Pick Their Battles
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Weekend Winner: The Dan Haren Swindle
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Angels, who shoplifted Dan Haren out of Arizona and so thoroughly snookered the Diamondbacks that someone should check if Chase Field is encased in aluminum siding....
David Kahn Continues To Be Eminently Quotable, Stupid
The Timberwolves GM on newly acquired Michael Beasley: "Michael Beasley smoked too much pot in Miami, but he's a changed man now." On Chris Webber: "He's kind of a schmuck, isn't he?" Then he begins a sentence with "methinks." [Star Tribune, related]...
Here's A Picture Of Jonah Hill As Paul De Podesta On The Set Of <em>Moneyball</em>
The Michael-Lewis-book-turned-definition-of-production-problems finally started shooting. See for yourself how the baffling casting choice will look on the silver screen. It's really a shame Sam Kinison wasn't available to play the ghost of Connie Mack. [The appropriately named Accidental Sexiness,...
Joakim Noah Spotted In His Natural Habitat: Shopping For Bongs (MORE PHOTOS)
No LeBron and Bosh? No problem. Joakim Noah will just console himself with a night on the couch eating Funyuns and watching QVC. And the water pipe? Well that's for tobacco use only, as the law clearly indicates....
Zab Judah Meets The Polish Posse: Everybody Needs An Entourage
NEWARK — Upon arriving at the Prudential Center here last Friday night for a boxing match, I was greeted by an unboxinglike sight: dozens of fans clad in identical t-shirts and matching red and white scarves, pouring off a white chartered bus....
Vows: Tonya Harding and Joe Price
Tonya Harding, a 39-year-old disgraced former figure skater who still has horny fans, and Joseph Jens Price, 42-year-old "real nice, blue-collar-type guy," were married June 26 by Pastor Lloyd Ward of the Community Church of God in Vancouver, Wash....
Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Gordon Hayward
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape is a real gem: Utah Jazz draftee Gordon Hayward showing off a barrage of put-backs and solid fundamentals to the ferocious "Straight Outta Compton" by NWA. ...
World's Largest-Breasted Woman's Breasts Trying To Kill Her
After more than 30 surgeries, Texan Sheyla Hershey's M-cup bosom finally had enough. Her latest procedure gave her a staph infection, and doctors have removed her implants to try and save her life. Godspeed, Sheyla.[MyFoxHouston]...
LeBron Watch, Day 55: Dan Gilbert's Top Secret Second Letter To Cleveland
The Cavs owner has already racked up a $100,000 penalty for ripping LeBron James, and now, in the wake of Zydrunas Ilgauskas's departure for Miami, he appears to be gunning for a second fine. Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio, Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight, and res...