ah Page 446 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Should We Resolve The Isner-Mahut Stalemate?
If there's one thing we learned today, it's this: John Isner and Nicolas Mahut have exactly the same amount of tennis skill. But that still doesn't solve the problem of how to end their ridiculous grudge match....
Algerian Player Slaps Female Reporter After Match
Rafik Saifi, who came on in the 84th minute — just in time to watch the US win the match — took our his frustrations in the media room by smacking an Algerian journalist right across the mouth....
The Longest Tennis Match Ever Is Happening Right Now (Update: Suspended For Darkness)
John Isner and Nicolas Mahut are currently mired in a fifth-set 46-46 tie; the match is in its seventh hour. ESPN2 just cut back to the World Cup. Follow the action at SBNation or the Guardian's liveblog. Or turn on ESPNU....
Mickey Mouse Assaulted For Supporting The Boston Red Sox
The All-Star Game is in Anaheim next month, so in the tradition of shameless corporate sponsorship, MLB created 30 Mickey Mouse statues, each one honoring a different pro team. Naturally, the Red Sox Mickey has been brutally violated....
Ricky Rubio Had A Miserable Draft Night, According To His (Platonic) Escort
A year ago, Ethan Sherwood Strauss worked as Rubio's league-assigned escort at the NBA Draft, which made him privy to the young Spaniard's innermost thoughts. Such as: "They drafted ANOTHER point guard? Why?" [Free Darko]...
World Cup Open Thread: Ghana-Australia
Can the Socceroos bounce back from the trouncing they received in their first game? Can Ghana play its way into the knockout stages? All this and talk of Australia's greatest natural resource (pictured) in the comments....
Steve McNair Not Allowed To Rest In Peace
One Nashville man is working tirelessly to reopen the investigation into Steve McNair's death. Or at least, to sell his own amateurish self-published conspiracy theory book....
Tonya Harding Sex Fantasy Page Still Surprisingly Active
Here's an unwelcome departure from refuckingallignment and World Cup news: Tonya Harding, disgraced former figure skater, still has fans. Horny fans, actually, who not-so-eloquently fantasize about "karate fucking" her and other disturbing coital activities....
In Case You're Confused, Big Ben Is The One Who DIDN'T Kill Two People
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Golden Tate's Dramatic 911 Donut Call: "They're Drunk And Being Retarded"
Listen in as an exasperated donut maker asks police to save her from two buffoons who stole her donuts and her keys. Also: an NFL wideout with "average" build who is "maybe 5'9"? Maybe he needs more than donuts....
Golden Tate Breaks Into Donut Shop Due To Maple Bar Addiction
Police were called to Top Pot Doughnuts in Bellevue, Washington, at 3:00 a.m. on Saturday after two men were found entering the store after hours. Turns out new Seahawk Golden Tate just had a case of the munchies....
The Epitome of Douche: "Bros Icing Bros"
I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now....
Blood Writes: "Cow crushed my thumb" (WARNING: STUPENDOUSLY GROSS)
About two months ago I was working at one of the farms at Ohio State and a cow went bat shit crazy crashing through one of the gates....
Kendry Morales's Brittle Leg Teaches Us A Valuable Lesson About...Something
Someone in that Angels dugout is kicking themselves for not just simply wishing Morales "good luck" before coming to the plate in the tenth, instead of saying "break a leg." Ugh, that was terrible. I apologize....
In Honor Of Memorial Day, Here's A Photo Of A Marine With Sarah Palin Tattooed On His Ass
That butt belongs to Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin "Gus" Lepping, an explosive ordnance disposal tech serving in Afghanistan. Reasoning: "What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?" [Battle Rattle]...
Golden Tate Sings Taylor Swift
When you're asked to croon a few lines from your favorite Taylor Swift song, the only correct answer is "I don't know any." Golden Tate does not give the correct answer....
Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...
And Now A Photo Of Evan Longoria's Penis. Allegedly.
Those Beantown rapscallions at Barstool Sports have posted a photo of what one woman claims is the Rays' third baseman's prodigious bologna hammer. If you choose to click, remember that the safety of your workplace may be in peril. PENISPHOTO....
Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...
Meet Tyler Lewis: The No-Look-Passing, Ankle-Breaking Teenager
Here's video of a high school sophomore who, since he's white, will be compared endlessly to Steve Nash. While not Nash-level yet, he has a lot going for him: great floor-vision, superior play-making skills, and not being Guerdwich Montimere. [Hoops Doctors, ONEentertainmentHOOPS.com]...