ah Page 481 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
Speeding Tennis Balls To The Nads Are Painful, Scientists Confirm
The now-swollen man named Jason Fields did this in the name of science, which was curious how the heart rate changes while anticipating a frozen rope to the sack. Suffice to say, we need to bump Fields to the absolute top of the national list of people who are in desperate need of being donated a bl...
Knicks End Up Not Being Worth Protesting
So the Knicks fans had that "Fire Isiah" rally yesterday afternoon — inconveniently right before the Knicks' most impressive win of the season — and the outrage in New York was palpable. And by "palpable," we mean, "about two dozen people showed up despite it taking place in one of the most highly f...
What One Man Can Possibly Overcome
This is Darrell Mack, star running back for Utah, which plays in something called the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl tomorrow night against Navy. We've heard all kinds of stories about athletes overcoming hardships to succeed on grand stages, but, man, this guy, we have no idea how he...
The New York Knicks Will Not Tolerate Your Taunts
If you're a major sports franchise that's trying to survive rough times, you do anything you can to keep the fans on your side ... winning hearts and minds is almost as important as winning games. So that's why, naturally, the New York Knicks on Monday ejected a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah' sig...
SHOTY Elite Eight: Ron Mexico Vs. Isiah Thomas
In the first round, No. 1 seed Ron Mexico/Michael Vick/Ookie was more wobbly than we might have suspected. He could be ripe for an Elite Eight upset....
Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....
Bob Knight, Isiah Thomas And "Sunt"
An outstanding find from The Big Lead: An old video of Isiah Thomas, while honoring former coach Bobby Knight, explaining what he learned from the coach. The main thing he learned? The word "sunt."...
SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas
At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight....
Isiah Says It's All YOUR Fault
Athletes and coaches will never understand one basic tenet about being a sports fan: If your team wins games, you're the loudest, most supportive fans alive. If your team loses all the time, no matter how loyal you are to your team and how devoted you are, you tend not to scream that much. It is not...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Marques Slocum
We come, AT LAST, to the end of the first round of SHOTY voting. Yes, it's taken a while; just be glad we have 16 competitors, rather than 64. We would have had to start in June....
Micah Owings Might Go Both Ways
One of the stars of the Diamondbacks' improbable 2007 season was Micah Owings, the pitcher who could hit better than almost everybody else in Arizona's lineup. In the offseason, teams look for every advantage they can find, to fill every hole. The D-Backs are getting creative; they're thinking of pu...
Mizzou vs. Oklahoma - Disrespect For Everyone
Gary Pinkel has a big challenge tonight as he — wait, is Les Miles coaching Missouri now? No? He's still at LSU? Okay, carry on — coaches his top-ranked underdog Missouri Tigers against Oklahoma. It's a difficult decision, really, to pick one team over another. One can easily make a convincing case ...
Elijah Dukes Blends Right Into Dominican Baseball
If you thought Elijah Dukes would sit on his laurels and be happy with a first round SHOTY victory, then you sir, are a Rays fan praying to God he doesn't do anything stupid. Your prayers haven't been answered, but are very important to us and will be answered in the order they were received....
Who Will Tony Romo Date Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Canadian PSAs Are Clearly Not Messing Around
The above public service announcement has been running during Hockey Night In Canada on CBC up north. It is definitive proof that Canadians are terrifying. Heavens to Betsy!...
Somebody Stop This Fight (But Don't, Please)
Hey, here was something that Isiah hadn't tried: On Monday, disgusted with what he said was a lack of effort, he threw his entire team out of practice. The results on Tuesday were sparkling, as visiting Golden State beat the Knicks 108-82. The wheels have flown off of this bus, folks, and they're dr...
After They Lock Up All The Cricket Stars, Are All Of Us Next?
The "Brad Pitt of cricket," Imran Kahn, has been thrown into prison by Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf for speaking out against the government, and is now on a hunger strike. You thought American politics were a mess? Imagine if Tom Brady was thrown in the slammer for his political views, ...