ah Page 483 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...

Shane Victorino And His Skirt Can Be On Your Dashboard
Pity poor Shane Victorino. The Phillies outfielder/journeyman is being honored with his own figurine at a Phillies game on June 3, which has to be a thrill for any major league baseball player. (It was certainly a thrill for Mr. Celery!) Why Shane Victorino? Well, he's Hawaiian, and that makes him u...

Yes. Right. Playoffs. Still Happening. Got It.
Oh yeah! There was a basketball game last night! Right!...

Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...

Someone In Oklahoma Is Sad
The great folks at Post Secret — via Burnt Orange Nation — have dug up this little mailing, which features a sad, scorned lover of an Oklahoma football player lamenting the need for their union to remain a secret. Oklahoma last won a national championship in 2000, which theoretically narrows it down...

You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....

Have The Conference Finals Started Yet?
At this point, barring a massive surge from LeBron James or Deron Williams deciding to score 18 points in the fourth quarter of every game, that the last image of these playoffs is going to involve Baron Davis, not Tim Duncan or Tayshaun Prince. The Western conference finals started yesterday, and w...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Spurs
The NBA's conference finals begin today with the West, and the East follows tomorrow night....

Spurs vs. Jazz: Because They're What's Left
For those of you who haven't yet boycotted the NBA Playoffs, the Western Conference Finals are getting underway in about a half-hour. The Jazz head to San Antonio to take on the Spurs in a battle of teams who beat teams that most people liked a whole lot more than either of these teams....

The Number 30 Is Worth A House
The sale of jersey numbers is a time-honored tradition in sports. A team will sign or trade for a star free-agent, and some other scrub on the roster is already wearing the number that said star has worn his entire career ... and the star will pay the scrub tens of thousands of dollars for his numbe...

Thanks For The Memories (At Least The Ones We Could Stay Up Late Enough For)
We salute the Golden State Warriors for the ride they've taken us on, but after last night's once-again-convincing 100-87 Jazz victory, they're the first team to be eliminated from the conference semifinals. And the Warriors fans are rather Zen about the whole thing....

Last Call For Bandwagonners
We've never been as offended by bandwagon fans as most people are. When Bill Murray started following around the Illini during their Final Four year, we didn't mind: It was Bill Murray, for crying out loud....

Apparently, The Warriors Can Lose At Home
In their their preview of the Suns-Spurs series, Free Darko, describing Stephen Jackson and the Golden State Warriors, wrote, "Stephen Jackson doesn't care because he has nothing to lose, and thus is invincible." For the first time, last night, his team looked like it cared, like it had a lot to los...

Baron Davis Climbs Andrei Kirilenko
If you watch closely, you can see Andrei Kirilenko looking back at Baron Davis afterwards, as if to say, "You know, that really wasn't necessary." Even Adonal Foyle crinkled up his nose in a "Damn that was nasty," kind of a way. When Adonal Foyle acknowledges the nastiness, you know things just got ...

NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Red Wings Vs. Ducks
We have always found it amusing that Anaheim decided to take the positive modifier "Mighty" out of its name; we know they wanted to avoid the Disney context, but usually when there's a "Fighting" or a "Runnin'" in there, it's supposed to be a good thing. Now they are Ducks, simply Ducks....

Wild Nights In Salt Lake City
Just Call Me Juice points out what we're all thinking but are afraid to admit: These NBA playoffs have been so much more entertaining than the NCAA Tournament. (Assuming, of course, you ignore the Eastern Conference.) Last night's wild overtime thriller, a mad hatter 127-117 Jazz win over the Warrio...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you're feeling extra religious ... • NBA: Conference semifinals, New Jersey at Cleveland, Game 2; San Antonio at Phoenix, Game 2. Oh, come on and watch; sleep is overrated. [TNT] • MLB: Rangers at Yankees. Let's talk about Clemens some more! [YES Network] • ISKA kickboxing. Real m...

Wow, We Get Another One Of These Series, Apparently
So here's something no one could have expected: A second-round playoff series between Golden State and Utah that's destined to be thrilling, amazing to watch and go the full seven games. Utah won Game 1, but, as we watched the game early this morning while shaking off our Arcade Fire hangover, we we...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Warriors
The second round continues with another new matchup tonight. It's certainly one few would have anticipated....

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...