ah Page 488 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NBA Slogan Fever: We Love This CATCH IT!
We've always been amused by teams' dopey slogans for the season; the worst one we can remember is the 2004 St. Louis Cardinals' "Red Means Go." We have absolutely no idea what that means, and we sincerely tried....
Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...
NBA Roundup: Look! Up In The Sky! ...
Taking a look at Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association:...
Not Even "Hard Harry" Can Save This Game
Ordinarily, we've tended to make fun of "Monday Night Football"'s tendency to bring "celebrities" into their booth to banter with Bald 1, Bald 2 and Mouthy; it's always a distraction from the game and excruciating to listen to. ("So, uh, guy from 'Desperate Housewives" ... er ... so you're in a coma...
Not Exactly Your Marquee MNF Matchup
We love the idea of these late-night open game threads, which started with the World Series — who won that, anyway? — and have morphed into a fun Monday night activity for the bored, drunk and/or curious. But it's pretty tough to dress up tonight's game in anything that resembles anything pretty: ...
Drew Tate Does The Ocho
In the spirit of the Big Ten football theme we've got going this afternoon, we proudly present you with Drew Tate, quarterback for the consistently disappointing Iowa Hawkeyes, rocking out the Halloween party circuit with some pals as, apparently, the bad guys from "Dodgeball." Frankly, this is the ...
Block A Shot And Boogie: A Day In The Life Of Isiah
This is an older video, and we've never seen it ... but that doesn't make it any less hypnotic. Shake it, Isiah ... SHAKE IT!...
NBA Roundup: Isiah Thomas Farewell Tour Makes First Stop
Notes from yesterday's action in the National Basketball Association ......
NBA Kicks Off In Earnest, And That Means It's Isiah Time!
Well, it's a beautiful time of the year, because not only is there a full slate of NBA games tonight, but one of them involves ... the Knicks! Yep, Isiah's boys tip off tonight in the strangely disappointing locale of Memphis, as they face the Grizzlies. Of all the games tonight, we're most intrigue...
That's Nothing: We Once Got Busy In A Burger King Bathroom
Well, it's not exactly the greatest all-time bathroom stall story, but hey, it's Seattle, not Tampa: We'll take what we can get....
We Say Replace Theismann With Borat Right Now
The Borat movie — Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan — is almost here, which pleases us greatly. We're kind of confounded by the release schedule, though. There was a premiere in Los Angeles on Monday (Defamer, of course, was there), and there was o...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Utah Jazz
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Northwest Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlanta Hawks
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we begin the Southeast Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: NOOCH!
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
When Baseball Players Are Asked: 'You Have Haramph Like My Friend, Can I Touch?'
Like many of you, we suspect, we cannot wait for the new Borat movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Therefore, we present this old Borat clip, as he visits a Savannah Sand Gnats minor league baseball game, with predictable results. No matter how...
Recruiting Makes College Sports Double Plus Unfun
As a fan of college athletics, we will confess to being depressed by the process of recruiting. Some fans are obsessed with it, subscribing to scouting services and reading tea leaves, analyzing every vocal inflection of a 17-year-old kid as if it's going to be an insight to their deeper mindset. (T...
Your Friday Cross Dressing/She-Male Roundup
If you know us, you're familiar with our usual gripe: It's getting so that you can't stage a simple dragon-boat racing competition these days without someone breaking the rules by cross dressing. From Reuters:...
If Only There Were A Logical Time To Drink It ...
You know, we were fully aware that the Oklahoma-Texas football rivalry — if you missed it in all the playoff business roaming around these parts, they play this weekend — was a pretty big deal, but we'd always felt it lacked the critical component of beer....
Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....
Madden Curse Soon To Attack Rest Of Humanity
You know, all told, Ray Lewis never actually suffered from the Madden Curse: People always forget nothing happened to him that year....