ah Page 487 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ducks Fans, Your Decade-Plus Of Suffering Is Over
We congratulate the Anaheim Ducks on their first Stanley Cup title last night. We can't imagine the relief of Ducks fans across the nation, who were able to sleep easy last night, knowing they must no longer fear that they, like their grandfathers and other ancestors, will die without seeing their b...
Watch, Hoof, Watch!
You've sat through "The Sopranos," waiting for them to just settle the whole matter already so you can stop seeing ads for it. You ordered HBO for one reason only. And the night you've been waiting for is among us: It's the HBO Barbaro Documentary....
Some Things You See That You Can't Unsee
Friends, we have seen death; we have walked up to it, looked it straight in the eye and then scampered off and hid under our desk....
Not Much Hockey Left To Go
After last night's Stanley Cup Finals Game 4, an Anaheim victory over Ottawa to take a 3-1 series lead, it appears that the NHL will remain true to tradition: The Stanley Cup will be presented in Orange County. It seems as if there could have never been any other way....
There Has To Be A Way To Combine A Hockey Game And A Telethon
Hockey continues to feel the sting of disrespect from their network television home. This time, the slap in the face isn't national, but limited to just the Tampa market. For now, anyway. We'll have to wait and see what happens if tonight's game goes into overtime....
NHL Fans Are That Much More Special Today
If you didn't watch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 2 last night — and of course you did — you might have missed this odd shot of Snoop Dogg, who, for reasons unbeknown to anyone but him (and probably not him either), was wearing a fake mustache....
Take Some Time Off, Spurs
While Tim Duncan justifiably receives all the credit for the Spurs advancement to the NBA Finals — which don't start for another week, by the way — Full Court NBA Blog points out that the guards have been pretty great too. That said, last night, the Jazz checked out plenty early; they looked eager t...
It's The Spurs ... Again
We congratulate the Spurs on their trip to the NBA Finals. We're gonna try really hard to like them. Honest. We are. Hey, Tim Duncan! He's good. That's something. See you tomorrow....
Could Be The Last Night For Your Jazz
Now that the Eastern Conference Finals are heating up — as much as anything post-Golden State in this playoffs has been able to "heat up" — the Western Conference can wrap up tonight, with San Antonio finishing up the Manu-ization of the NBA. There won't be as many Jazz fans to throw Blistex at Bruc...
You Can't Put A Price On A Lifetime Of Wisdom
We always support those who want to give back to the community and charitable organizations, particularly when that charitable donation involves spending an hour absorbing information directly from the brain of Isiah Thomas....
Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...
The Spurs, And The Playoffs, Are All About The Flop
If you needed concrete proof why many NBA fans have been dreading seeing the Spurs in the NBA Finals, last night's win over the Jazz provided it. It was a succession of flops, plods, slaps, free throws and Manu Ginobili. We know some just call this winning basketball; we think it's sucking all the l...
Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators
We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ot...
As Deron Williams Becomes A Superstar...
Well, that was emphatic ... and just what this postseason needed. The Utah Jazz, back on their homecourt, busted out the whoopin' sticks on the San Antonio Spurs last night. Carlos Boozer (while not trying to stuff the basketball into Tim Duncan's rectal cavity) and Deron Williams had that pick-and-...
Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...
Shane Victorino And His Skirt Can Be On Your Dashboard
Pity poor Shane Victorino. The Phillies outfielder/journeyman is being honored with his own figurine at a Phillies game on June 3, which has to be a thrill for any major league baseball player. (It was certainly a thrill for Mr. Celery!) Why Shane Victorino? Well, he's Hawaiian, and that makes him u...
Yes. Right. Playoffs. Still Happening. Got It.
Oh yeah! There was a basketball game last night! Right!...
Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...
Someone In Oklahoma Is Sad
The great folks at Post Secret — via Burnt Orange Nation — have dug up this little mailing, which features a sad, scorned lover of an Oklahoma football player lamenting the need for their union to remain a secret. Oklahoma last won a national championship in 2000, which theoretically narrows it down...
You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....