ah Page 490 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who's Sorry Now? NBA Edition
No sooner had the new TV been taken out of its box over at the new Carmelo Anthony Youth Development Center in Baltimore than the kids got an eyeful of their hero throwing haymakers at various members of the New York Knicks during their wild brawl on Saturday. One has to wonder what Carmelo would ha...

The Seahawks Are Falling Apart, Fast
So here's some hope for Seahawks fans. Think of yourselves as the St. Louis Cardinals....

The Seahawks Can Actually Win This Sullen Division
After a loss to the Buzzsaw last week that could generously be called "dispiriting," the Seattle Seahawks faithful are beginning to lose hope, openly referring to last season as a fluke. (We are more optimistic about their chances, but we know nothing.)...

NBA Roundup: We Wish You A Jerry Christmas
Notes from Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Celebrating Isiah
There are all kinds of reasons to throw a party, but none of them are better or more significant than the third anniversary of the hiring of Isiah Thomas. Knicks owner James Dolan is throwing this bash, and the best thing about it? You're invited. No, really. Here's your invitation....

Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...

Sunday Night Football: Seahawks @ Broncos
Tonight, Jay Cutler becomes the next Broncos quarterback that no one in Denver will like because his name isn't "John Elway." Well, that might not be true. They could end up liking him. Denver had Super Bowl hopes as recent as a few weeks ago, so all Cutler has to do is rescue the floundering team, ...

NBA Roundup: Um, Kobe Is Back, Apparently
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Please, Someone, Make Strahan Just Go Away
All right, we'll say it: We absolutely do not believe Michael Strahan when he does anything anymore. Everything the guy does seems so calculated, so media-savvy, so gay dramatic ... well, we just don't buy it anymore. If this guy played in Jacksonville, no one would know about him, or care....

Get Fired Up, Knicks Fans
In honor of the Knicks' surprising road victory over the Cavaliers last night — which puts them one game out of first place, at 6-10! — we are proud to point out this Web advertisement for the Knicks (not one of the ones that, strangely, ran on this site) encouraging Madison Square Garden to "Experi...

We Hope They Turn Out Overweight And Lethargic
To celebrate his new big-ass contract for the Dodgers — and the inevitable shredding of some sort of tender tendon that will result — Nomar Garciaparra has found a fertile place in Mia Hamm that his seed might find purchase....

That Smudge On Your Floor? That's The Big Ten
You know, new Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson isn't known as a disciplinarian in the way that Bob Knight is, but, jeez, he sure does make his players do some pretty publicly humiliating things to their teammates when they lose on national television, doesn't he?...

Deron Williams Is Making Utah Slightly More Tolerable
True Hoop points out something that Illini fans have known for years now and the rest of the basketball world is unabashedly catching on to: Utah Jazz point guard (and former Illini star) Deron Williams is freaking awesome....

The Snow Is Finally Here, And The Playoffs Aren't Far Behind
For all the talk of Brett Favre and Matt Hasselbeck and a dogged night from Shaun Alexander, the main impression we took from last night's MNF Seahawks' win over the Packers was: SNOW! Screw Thanksgiving: We know the holidays are really upon us when it's snowing real hard and people are falling over...

Your Last Night Of MNF Brett Favre Backrubbing
Of all the tired Brett Favre storylines out there, our least favorite is the "He's playing against Mike Holmgren again!" theme. Yes, yes, they won a Super Bowl together; we're not sure this makes this all that necessarily compelling. Besides, that would require remembering a time when Brett Favre we...

He Can't Even Play For Isiah
It's been a week or two since we checked in with the running joke that is the New York Knicks. As it turns out, it doesn't look like the dream pairing of Stephon Marbury and his "father figure" Isiah Thomas is going to function as seamlessly as we all thought it would. Things reached a low-point l...

The Violent Tendencies Of Isiah Thomas
Spurs forward Bruce Bowen has a habit of sliding his feet under the feet of the man he's guarding when they go up for a jumpshot. It's an extremely dirty and dangerous play, and Bowen's got a history with it. Both Ray Allen and Vince Carter have wanted to beat his ass at various points in the not-to...

NBA Slogan Fever: We Love This CATCH IT!
We've always been amused by teams' dopey slogans for the season; the worst one we can remember is the 2004 St. Louis Cardinals' "Red Means Go." We have absolutely no idea what that means, and we sincerely tried....

Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...

NBA Roundup: Look! Up In The Sky! ...
Taking a look at Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association:...