ah Page 491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matt Hasselbeck Is Sexy, You See (YEAH!)
Last year, a Seattle radio station, attempting to, we dunno, inspire somebody or something, came up with "Sweet Shaun Alexander," an ear-bleeder set to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama." (You know, because of the loggers.)...
Ah, To Be Young And Tony Romo
Another reason YouTube is changing our lives in new and exciting ways: The already infamous Tony Romo fumble moment from Saturday night is being reenacted by spasming lonely fools in their bedrooms. You're totally wrong, Cuban: YouTube is Allah's gift to us all!...
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 4th Quarter
- The Cowboys are opening the quarter with a punt here. They're up by four with 15:00 to play. I would really love to see an exciting finish here. After that early game, frankly, I think we all deserve it....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 3rd Quarter
- The halftime show is over, mercifully bringing Jim Mora Jr.'s career as an analyst to an end. Cena was surprisingly gentle, by the way....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 2nd Quarter
- There are the Hasselbeck ladies. Obviously, they're pretty bundled up and it's hard to tell, but... I think Hasselbeck's mom might have a slight edge in that matchup. I can't make the call from here....
Cowboys vs. Seahawks: 1st Quarter
- The biggest reason I'm excited about this game is that it's the last I'll have to see this year of Jerome Bettis....
Playoff Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Cowboys
We didn't talk much about this, but the reason for our trip to Argentina? An attempt to further check out the genealogy of Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. (Turns out he is not, in fact, Argentinian.) It's still pretty amazing that Romo is in the Pro Bowl; if the Cowboys lose this game, he's gonna l...
And in Less Bloody Shirt News....
Christ.This is a gratutitous mood-lightening post to veer off the whole Darrent Williams thing for a little while.The Williams story is important, it's tragic, but Jesus Christ, at this rate I'll be posting YouTube clips of Schindler's List to cheer myself up. Anyway, I have one more little piece of...
Slava Medvedenko Is The Anti-Joe Kines
But he is no less entertaining, albeit in his own special Slava way. Medvedenko just signed with the Atlanta Hawks, so you're not likely to ever hear from him again. But the good news is that the Hawks gig puts him in closer physical proximity to Joe Kines, upping the chances of the two of them havi...
Martina Hingis Set To Marry And End The Career Of Radek Stepanek
Martina Hingis is marrying Radek Stepanek, a Czech tennis-playing douchebag who is now most famous for marrying Martina Hingis. Those of you who are disappointed that Martina is now off the market need not worry, though. Stepanek will probably be dead within the month....
A Call Out to Objectify This Man's Wife
From the Letters to the Guest Editor department:...
Some Casting Director Has Their Work Cut Out For Them
Apparently, they'll make a movie about damn near anyone these days. The latest athlete to get the big screen treatment is spectacularly-bearded former Jazz center Mark Eaton. Eaton will be the subject of a film by Stacy Dymalski that will probably not be entitled, "What's Eatin' Mark Eaton?"...
NBA Roundup: Isiah, Knicks Will Rule Us All One Day
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
But He Means That In The Nicest Possible Way
We thought that we were pretty much up to speed on the brawl at Madison Square Garden and its aftermath, but now we're still a little confused. Is Isiah Thomas a "jerk," a "jackass" or an "asshole?" Our lines are still open, call in and cast your vote now! Nuggets coach George Karl left the question...
At The Garden With Deron, Stephon And The Cabal
So it figures: We go see our first (and likely only) Knicks game of the year, and not only is it their most "exciting" victory of the year, but it's a one that, the day after, even Knicks fans don't really care about. The Knicks had a rare stud game from Stephon Marbury — and by "rare," we mean "we ...
Witnessing The Isiah Carnage In Person
We're a little afraid to admit this publicly, if just we're afraid Isiah Thomas will send Mardy Collins to knock us to the floor or something, but in the wake of the big brawl at Madison Square Garden on Saturday, we are heading to our first (and hopefully) last Knicks game of the year tonight. The ...
Who's Sorry Now? NBA Edition
No sooner had the new TV been taken out of its box over at the new Carmelo Anthony Youth Development Center in Baltimore than the kids got an eyeful of their hero throwing haymakers at various members of the New York Knicks during their wild brawl on Saturday. One has to wonder what Carmelo would ha...
The Seahawks Are Falling Apart, Fast
So here's some hope for Seahawks fans. Think of yourselves as the St. Louis Cardinals....
The Seahawks Can Actually Win This Sullen Division
After a loss to the Buzzsaw last week that could generously be called "dispiriting," the Seattle Seahawks faithful are beginning to lose hope, openly referring to last season as a fluke. (We are more optimistic about their chances, but we know nothing.)...
NBA Roundup: We Wish You A Jerry Christmas
Notes from Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......