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Not All Hot Takes Are Stupid!
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....

Monty Williams Was There For Ryan Anderson After Girlfriend's Suicide
Sports Illustrated's Chris Ballard has a devastating piece on Pelicans forward Ryan Anderson, who in August 2013 was the one to discover his girlfriend Gia Allemand in her New Orleans home, hanging by her neck from a vacuum-cleaner cord. It is a hard, hard read, but there is goodness here—much of ...

USC DB Josh Shaw Explains Why He Made Up That Drowning-Nephew Story
USC defensive back Josh Shaw was the inspirational story of the moment when the school claimed back in August that he'd sprained both ankles jumping off a balcony to save his drowning 7-year-old nephew. Within a few days it had become clear that everything about the story was fake, except for the sp...

Kobe And The Lakers Do Dumb Shit; Anthony Davis Dismisses Them
The ridiculous, bad-basketball-playin'-ass Lakers lost again last night, 109-102 in New Orleans, to fall to 1-7. Basically, they performed how you might expect them to on the second night of a road back-to-back: they won the first quarter with some fluky hot shooting, then sagged badly in the middl...

LeBron James's Silly Baby Wouldn't Go To Sleep Last Night
LeBron James's daughter was born in October, and that means LeBron has to be on early morning baby duty when he's at home, just like every other poor schmuck in America who has a baby....

Taylor Swift And Amar'e Stoudemire Are Buddies(?)
Pop star and New York institution Taylor Swift, who moved to New York in April, is a big fan of the New York Knicks. She is a fan despite the fact that the Knicks are a garbage-ass basketball team, but as Swift told Time.com, her love of them is not entirely without merit:...

This Truly Is The Face Of College Football
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Curt Schilling Has Disproved Evolution
I'm going to cut straight to the chase: Curt Schilling has no fucking clue what he's talking about. For the past 14 hours he has been sending out links to Geocities-looking websites and arguing with people about evolution on Twitter. Despite hundreds of people letting him know that he's wrong, Sch...

Clayton Kershaw And Corey Kluber Are Your Cy Young Winners
Major League Baseball announced the 2014 Cy Young winners tonight. One of the winners was a foregone conclusion, but the other was a bit of a surprise....

Report: Oscar Taveras Was Extremely Drunk At Time Of Fatal Crash
St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Oscar Taveras was exceedingly drunk when he crashed his car in the Dominican Republic last month—killing himself and his girlfriend—according to the Associated Press. The AP quotes a spokesperson from the Dominican attorney general's office, who says that Taveras was "...

Deadspin Up All Night: Are You Really Happy?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Don't go to bed thirsty. ...

FSU's Karlos Williams Not Charged In Domestic Battery Investigation
The domestic battery case involving Florida State's Karlos Williams has been moved to open/inactive, so no charges will be filed unless something changes, according to a police incident report released today. The reason, according to the report, is that the alleged victim, the mother of Williams's...

Michael Sam's Dad Is A Real Piece Of Work
When Michael Sam publicly came out back in February, the New York Times talked to the football player's father, Michael Sam, Sr., who reacted by getting drunk at an Applebee's. Joel Anderson of BuzzFeed caught up with Sam's father recently and pried more into the relationship between him and his son...

Report: Skal Labissiere's Shady Guardian Asked How To Profit From Him
Six-foot-ten forward Skal Labissiere, one of the top prospects in the nation, is expected to announce tomorrow which college he will attend—Kentucky and Memphis are among the favorites. No one should get too excited. CBS Sports has a story featuring this pronouncement from one coach who's been in on...

All Hail Kobe Bryant And The Lakers, Lords Of Madness
First things first: You don't get to miss more shots than anybody else in NBA history by being bad at basketball. That record would be Larry Hughes's if he didn't, y'know, suck at everything, and in this sense, the all-time missed-shots record is a perverse monument to Kobe Bryant's greatness. He ...

Dirk Nowitzki Says He Invented The "White Version" Of The Dream Shake
With 23 points last night, Dirk Nowitzki moved into ninth place on the NBA all-time scoring list. He passed Rockets legend Hakeem Olajuwon, meaning that Nowitzki has now scored more points in the NBA than any other foreign-born player....

The Troll Who Owns Nets.com Is A 69-Year-Old Woman In Santa Fe
The identity of the person who owns Nets.com has long been sought after, as many people have wanted to know who exactly is using the domain name to troll Mikhail Prokhorov and the Brooklyn Nets. (Go to Nets.com right now and you'll be redirected to an eBay listing for the domain name that features a...

15-Year-Old Wonderkid Added To Video Game After Dad's Tweeted Permission
The real point of career modes in soccer video games is to snatch up a grip of the world's most hyped youngsters and slowly build a juggernaut. Fans of Football Manager—that impossibly detailed, life-consumingly fun computer game—were dismayed to find Norway's new starlet Martin Ødegaard missing...

Deadspin Up All Night: Standing On The Corner
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Life's good, right?...

Randy Moss Talks About Freaking Out When He Met Deion Sanders
Back before the 1998 NFL Draft, Randy Moss says he was certain he was going to the Dallas Cowboys. Jerry Jones apparently told him the team would pick him if he was still available. (The Cowboys didn't take Moss with the eighth pick, instead drafting linebacker Greg Ellis; Moss fell all the way to t...