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In West Virginia, Even The Old Ladies Spit On Opposing Football Players
Another day, another affecting tale of the pristine image of fans at West Virginia University. At least according to Maryland lineman A.J. Francis, who informed the Washington Post of how deep his family's roots in the Mountain State go before he then shared this heartwarming little story:...

You Can Now Buy The Amarillo Sox Mascot That Had A Huge Erection
The Amarillo Sox Sock had one priapic night in the spotlight, before being consigned to the bottom of the hamper of history. Now the independent league Sox are auctioning off the outfit, presumably for use in sex pervert games, with all proceeds going to charity. [eBay]...

Let's Go Deep Inside The Spine Of Peyton Manning
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

The NCAA's Pocket Universe Is Collapsing
Everywhere is crisis and change, but mostly a constant questioning of what college football has been for a generation: an amateur sport that makes a lot of people a lot of money. The attacks are coming on all sides at the same time, and they are rapidly becoming too much for the sport to survive wit...

Finally, A Chance To Dress Up Like The Super Bowl Grounds Crew
This week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast deals with an auction of sports memorabilia that includes, for the first time, Super Bowl grounds crew attire. There are pullover shirts. But there are no NFL-branded lawnmowers. Of course, Roger Goodell has plenty of time to develop corpor...

Cal Coaches Use Foolproof Technique To Connect With Their Team: White Person R&B
Oh god. I can't. This is almost too painful. Cal women's basketball held a team retreat last week, apparently in my grandfather's finished basement. Assistant coach Daron Park, with the rest of the coaching staff on backup, entertained the players with an altered Montell Jordan routine that really...

Can I Call You Back Later? There's A Foul Ball Screaming Toward My Head
This is the greatest catch, and no one seems to care. Where are the ovations? The panegyrics? Where is even the slightest acknowledgement from the announcers or the Texas crowd that this guy made a snap grab on a sharp line drive, without stirring or interrupting his phone conversation? Maybe it's...

SprtsCntr: Picking Apart Tony Romo
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

A Seemingly Naked Australian Rules Football Player Got Arrested For Roughing Up A Thai Cop
"Star Gold Coast Suns AFL player Campbell Brown and young teammate Maverick Weller were detained by police in Thailand yesterday. They had allegedly been involved in a fight with a local policeman. ... Pictures obtained from a witness show Brown and Weller handcuffed and seemingly in distress. The ...

Sadly, There Isn't Video Of Those Prison Guards Who Stabbed And Maced People At The Albuquerque Hooters
Per the KRQE report on shenanigans breaking out during Monday night's Broncos/Raiders game at an Albuquerque Hooters, police really don't know "what specifically set the brawl off." But that doesn't mean there are a lack of details about it....

Presenting Footage Of Auburn's Eagle Mascot Crashing Into A Luxury Box Window
There are no concrete answers as to why Auburn University alum "Spirit" flew into a window at this past weekend's game against Mississippi State. As such, Harvey Updyke Jr. could have slipped it a roofie, but that would be treasonous, would it not?...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Blistering Jerry Jones Take Down
You should have heard the excitement in Chad McGhee's tone during the weekly call. It was unparalleled in football analytica. Such is what one would expect when the mighty Knox City Greyhounds got off the schneid with a 47-0 victory over the Rule Bulldogs....

The 61-Year-Old College Kicker Is Doing Well, Has To Use The Bathroom A Lot
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Alan Moore on being the oldest college football player ever....

I-Team: Which College Basketball Team Guaranteed A Walk-Out If They Made The NCAA Final?
We gave you a cheat sheet to The Atlantic's long NCAA takedown this morning, but we left one surprising bit out, to which reader Aaron has directed us....

Arizona State's QB Has Most Arizona State Bicep Tattoo Ever: "Live Life To It's Fullest"
This is Brock Osweiler, the 6-foot-8 starting quarterback for Arizona State. He led the Sun Devils to a 37-30 win over Missouri last Friday night, and he played a great game: He completed 24 of 32 passes for 354 yards and three TDs. When it was all over, he raised his arms to the adoring public and ...

This Evening: Tupac Shakur, Dead 15 Years To The Day, Forever A Dookie
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 13, the day we learned The Dark Knight's chase scene makes no sense. Photo via the SI Vault. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Millionaire Or Pauper: What Are College Athletes Worth?
There's a report out today that says college athletes are underpaid, and you should probably ignore it. Reading a study from the National College Players Association saying that college athletes should get more money is like reading a study from the NCAA saying student-athletes should never be paid ...

Alternate Footage Of The Cowboys/Jets Taser Fight
This newly-uploaded video captures more of the aftermath of the attack, beginning with an off-camera woman screaming to security, "Hurry up, he's got a taser!" It ends, as most Jets fan videos do, with the crowd chanting "asshole."...

West Virginia Athletics Requests That Students Refrain From Wearing "West Fuckin Virginia" T-Shirts
You know, like the one you see above. The open letter from WVU AD Oliver Luck to the Mountaineer faithful echoes the mass email sent this week to Maryland students by its AD....

What Are the Odds That You Know A Murderer?
Before we get to the Funbag, a quick reminder that the next reading for The Postmortal will be at 7 p.m. at Book Court in Brooklyn on Monday. Will Leitch will also be there as a special guest, and we can all tease him about eating raisins and fingerblasting himself to pictures of Ricky Ankiel. So jo...