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Everything You Wanted To Know About Porn, Weed, And Toilets In Afghanistan, Courtesy A Platoon Leader
That photo of an anonymous U.S. soldier standing in front of a whole shitload of weed was taken by a platoon leader in Afghanistan with the Gawker handle Lono. He emailed me recently to clarify a number of things about fighting overseas, namely the quality of local porn, the abundance of local weed,...

Here's The Voice Of Oregon State Sports, Drunk And Eating A Napkin At Denny's
This video's been floating around for a couple months under the description Drunk Man Eats Napkin At West Hollywood Denny's at 3:10 am. But this week, some folks near Corvallis noticed the subject looked a little familar. And indeed, it's Mike Parker, the radio play-by-play guy for the Beavers. Wh...

Did Osama Bin Laden Have Porn?
I used an electric nose hair trimmer for the first time the other day. It was oddly titillating. Now my nostrils are hollowed out like Nikki Tyler. It's almost too much oxygen for me to handle in one load....

A Day At The Rug Races: A Filthy, Hooker-Filled Excerpt That Was Cut From The Upcoming ESPN Book
Next week, excerpts from the long-awaited ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All The Fun will start trickling out, including one next week when the June issue of GQ drops. There are a lot of very nervous people in Bristol right now, and if the following passage is any indication of the book's conten...

Jim Tressel At Last Reaps The Whirlwind: A Five-Day Compliance Seminar In June In Tampa
That's part of his punishment for not snitching on his players, the AP reports. Five-day compliance seminar in June in Tampa. What a brutal phrase. It's hard to say what the worst part is. "Five-day"? "June in Tampa"? "Compliance seminar"? In terms of coiled, compressed misery, "five-day compliance ...

Phil Jackson Agrees That His Career Has Been The "Bee's Knees"
Your morning roundup for May 9, the day we learned of the Village tree thief....

The Lakers Had A Group Meltdown In Honor Of Phil Jackson's Final Game
Let's avoid speculating about why the Lakers are avoiding Kobe Bryant on the court, and why Pau Gasol broke it off with his girlfriend, and how those two things may or may not be related and may or may not have lead to this 4-0 sweep, and just point out that Los Angeles played like a team — despit...

After Mendenhall, Scoop Jackson Provides A Handy Guide To ESPN's Corporate Twitter Policy
Rashard Mendenhall wrote some thoughtless shit on Twitter after Bin Laden's death last week. Whatever you think about American military operations, or the popular reaction to the US mission, it's fair to say that Mendenhall's tweets didn't represent an athlete's thoughtful examination of jingoism ...

The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....

By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....

These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB's Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help
The MLB video war continues, quietly, even though we've kind of been actively ignoring one another for some time now. We received a lot of initial interest in our plan to take down the iron-fisted video regime, but then I guess it rained everywhere in America for two weeks and everyone's practice ...

Concussions Will Be Rare In <em>Madden NFL 12</em>, And No One Gets Suspended
Madden NFL 12 will present concussions realistically - as realistically as removing a player from the game, forbidding his return, and delivering commentary that highlights the seriousness of the injury. The game will not include suspensions for players who dole them out. [Kotaku] ...

Jared Allen Becomes The Latest To Complain About Those Kids And Their Bling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Allen says the lockout is all for the young players, but they're ungrateful little bastards....

David Price's Cartwheeling Home Run Trot Is What All Home Run Trots Should Be
Rays pitcher David Price knocked one into the right field seats during batting practice yesterday, and because pitchers in the American League don't get out much, he took advantage of the moment. We appreciate his cartwheels, his somersaults, and that gleeful flip of the bat, because even Little L...

Great Moments In Bad Handjobs
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

After Beaning, Reporter Will No Longer Urge Players To Take One For The Team
Last month, Kansas City Star blogger/reporter Lee Judge wrote that Wilson Betemit should have leaned into a pitch with the bases loaded in a tie game. It wasn't received well, as leaning into the pitch is easy for sportswriters to recommend, while they're sitting comfily at home....

Here's Hoping This Steers "White-Boy" I-AA Football Players Away From Making "Comedic" Music Videos
About a week after Ray Lewis went to talk to Elon University's football team at their spring game, tipster Adam says players with "nicknames such as East Infection, Juice Box, and the Bigger Guys" decided to share "Welcome to the EU" with the YouTube-accessing world....

Gus Is Gone, But His Most Famous Calls Mashed Up With Internet Memes Lives On Forever
During the 2010 playoffs, David "Crashtern" Matthews, former Deadspin staffer and current production coordinator for the Sports Show with Norm Macdonald blog, put together a tribute for our man Gus, who we learned today is "parting ways" with CBS. It is Gus calling the O.J. chase, Gus calling the i...

Gus Is Gone!
Gus Johnson and CBS have parted ways. Sucks that he won't be around for the NCAA Tourney, but we'll survive. We'll still have Gus in our lives, doing boxing, football, olympics, whatever he chooses to do. It's not as if we only like Gus because of Len Elmore. [SI.com]...

The Infuriating Consistency Of Dirk Nowitzki's Step-Back Jump Shot
If I were a real Lakers fan, which is a thing I've been told exists somewhere, and I had to watch the Dallas Mavericks handily beat my team at home twice in a week, then I would place an inordinate amount of rage in watching Dirk Nowitzki make shots like this one....