all Page 1983 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Worst Bra Unhooking Failure Ever. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
WNBA Player Has Funny Name When Pronounced Incorrectly
Phoenix Mercury vet DeWanna Bonner—who could probably take anyone on staff here in a game of Horse or 1-on-1, but not knockout, never knockout—has a name that begs to be said aloud in a bad Jamaican accent....
Here's A Picture Of Jonah Hill As Paul De Podesta On The Set Of <em>Moneyball</em>
The Michael-Lewis-book-turned-definition-of-production-problems finally started shooting. See for yourself how the baffling casting choice will look on the silver screen. It's really a shame Sam Kinison wasn't available to play the ghost of Connie Mack. [The appropriately named Accidental Sexiness,...
Minor League Baseball Will Be HGH Testing's Beachhead
We never thought we'd see the day, but an American professional sport has taken steps to detect, punish and deter HGH usage. Effective immediately, Minor League Baseball will test for it. This is big for our friends in the NFL, as well....
Crazy Rich Arabs Are The Craziest Bastards Of All!
Your letters:...
A Fantasy Football Screwjob We Can All Enjoy
The heartwarming tale of a non-fan invited to a draft and given a player list from 2005. He ended up with Priest Holmes, Marvin Harrison, Torry Holt and Steve McNair. But not Brett Favre, because he was retired. [Couch Groove Football]...
The Video You've Been Waiting For: An Alan Thicke-Hosted Aerobics Competition From The '80s
I cannot think of a reason why mediocre sitcom stars don't host bizarre pseudo-sport championship programs as often as they once did. Let's get Judd Hirsch in touch with the World's Strongest Man people, pronto. H/T Maddie....
Bring Me The Arm Of Lefty O'Doul
In 2007, the arm of a mannequin outside former San Francisco Seals manager Lefty O'Doul's bar was stolen. Yesterday, it came back. Along with a written and photographic record of its three-year hedonistic joyride across the Midwest....
Duke Basketball Fan Feels Persecuted, Part 7,938
"i've noticed that espn opens each sportscenter with championship snippets of the yankees, saints, lakers, alabama football, even uconn women's bball. hmmm. who's missing and is it intentional?" That's followed by the emoticon for "whining Little Lord Fauntleroy." [Duke Basketball Report]...
A Compendium Of Horrible, Horrible Twitter Poetry
Twitter is an inherently silly and disposable means of communication. Oh, but there are people out there who take their tweets seriously. Very seriously. AFFIRMED....
Carl Crawford Takes A Major League Nutshot
Here's Crawford taking a pickoff throw in a very sensitive area. He would leave the game, with our sympathies....
Ah, The Ol' Lacrosse Hidden Ball Trick
It might not have the Iroquois, but the World Lacrosse Championship does have the sneaky Japanese...What do you mean, 'racial stereotype?' It's the hidden ball trick! That's sneaky!...
Reggie Bush Has Heisman Taken Away From Him Even Though He Didn't Kill His Wife And A Waiter
I've been looking for a way to shamelessly steal that Norm Macdonald joke for years now. Thanks USC! [USA Today]...
Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....
Jennie Finch Retiring From Leisure Activity
She's calling it quits at age 29, even though softball is designed for 50-year-olds. Oh no! Without Finch as a draw, how will we — well, continue not paying attention to professional softball? [AP]...
Miguel Ángel Jiménez Wins The British Open Trick Shot Competition
Miguel Ángel Jiménez will never have to buy...whatever his drink of choice is after this shot Saturday. On 17—the affectionately named Road Hole—he had no choice but to Tin Cup it off the wall onto the green. Smooth, MAJ. Smooth....
<em>Inception</em> Was Great, Now Please Stop Talking About It, Assholes
I went and saw Inception on Friday night. I like any movie that includes mid-air hand-to-hand combat and Marion Cotillard's cleavage. But it's clear this movie is about to supplant "Lost" for annoying fanboy overanalysis....
Now They're Tasing Fans At Minor League Baseball Games
Another cop tased another unruly sports fan on Saturday, this time at a Daytona-Fort Myers Class A game. Between this and the explosions, minor league baseball is starting to resemble Greek basketball far more than anyone should be comfortable with. [Busted Coverage]...