all Page 1987 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Many Famous People Are There On Earth?
Robert Byrd died today. You can check his scrawny old ass off you death pool now. And if anyone ever kept a death pool, the list of candidates could now go on for miles....

Here's The Lego Version Of USA-Ghana You've Been Dreading
Relive the pain and the feelings of national indignity with this Lego version of Saturday's defeat. All that's missing? Little Lego beer bottles being thrown across little Lego living rooms in a little Lego version of America. [Lego Fussball]...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 25
And with that, the Round of 16 is set. Spain salsa'd its way to the second round behind the mighty leg of David Villa and the Ivory Coast tried its damnedest to hang seven on the Bad Korea but came up short....

Cops Will Always Be Bastards. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Stephen Strasburg Saves The Collectible Crap Industry
Stephen Strasburg already has an autographed Washington Nationals baseball card somehow, although I'm going to guess the $1 jillion eBay offer is not a "serious" bid. It's easily worth twice that! [eBay]...

NBA Draft: Where People With More Talent Than You Become Millionaires
Wall, Turner, Favors, Johnson, and Cousins are the first five. No surprises there, because I am incapable of forming an opinion about the NBA. Nothing can shock me! [Live updates @ ESPN; Photo: AP]...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 24
The Round of 16 is three-fourths finalized after today's action. The Dutch squad had two marvelous scores, and Slovakia knocked Italy out of the competition to just about everyone's relief. It was all quite exciting. But was it culturally insensitive?...

The Fine Art Of Addressing Your Children’s Genitals
It's a blockbuster funbag today. We go right to your letters....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 23
What a day, what a day. The U.S. advanced, but so did Germany and England. Australia put in a valiant effort and had two highlight-reel goals that will be ignored because of Landon Donovan's stunner....

Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref. Again.
This run by the U.S. in the 23rd minute resulted in yet another disallowed goal for the USMNT after Clint Dempsey's strike was called off on a questionable offsides call. Here's video proof that it was pretty much nonsense....

Riot Cops Slightly Underdressed For Soccer Match
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

PING! It's College World Series Time!
Actually, it has been for several days already, but by request, here's a CWS open thread. No. 1 Arizona State got bounced today and Oklahoma plays Clemson in the nightcap. No offense, but I'm watching "The Two Escobars." [AP Photo]...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 22
The knockout stages are a little clearer after today, with four teams moving on. Nigeria's Kalu Uche probably had the nicest goal, but the Super Eagles knocked out after its draw with the Good Korea....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)
Up there you have two women, Nereida Gallardo and Irina Shayk, who are allegedly Cristiano Rondaldo's girlfriend. They aren't being blamed for anything (yet) but there are two of them! What do we really know about them? Let's break it down and compare the two....

What’s The Best Way To Avoid Being Raped In Prison?
I was told by friend this weekend that it's a long-held bit of conventional wisdom that Asian women have, on average, warmer genitals than other women. I did not know this was a supposedly universal stereotype for dragon ladies, nor did anyone else in my company. We all knew the usual stereotypes ab...

Going By "Kurt": The Most Interesting Thing Mark Teixeira Has Ever Done
Distraught over the suicide of Kurt Cobain, a young Mark Teixeira went by "Kurt" for a while, according to an interview with MLB Network. This was, of course, prior to being replaced by a switch-hitting automaton. [Walk Off Walk, photo via]...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 21
Today we saw a feeding frenzy in the Portugal-North Korea game, Chile putting itself in good position for the round of 16, and Spain showing everyone why it's still a favorite. Another favorite: snickering at foreign cultures through culturally insensitive music placement....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 19-20
What a weekend: New Zealand played Italy to a draw; Luis Fabiano got away with two handballs; and Denmark scored a pair of beauties. But how would these moments look when scored to music betraying a distinct lack of cultural sensitivity?...

Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....

Come To Steve Smith's Football Camp For Kids — Where You Can Learn To Injure A Star
The Panthers WR broke his arm while horsing around at his football camp. No, it wasn't on this high-five, but it was almost as embarrassing....