all Page 1990 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Now Your Zen-Like Moment From Will Leitch's Wedding Weekend
This horrifying exhibition of dance moves to "Cupid Shuffle" was perpetrated by Emeritus at his post-rehearsal dinner fete and not at Blogs With Balls. Even the whitest of rhythmless white people might find this unsettling....
Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...
Fans Bring Greek Basketball Finals To A Violent, Pyrotechnic End (UPDATE)
In Game 4 of the Greek A-1 League finals between Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, referees declared Panathinaikos the winner after Olympiakos fans interrupted the game by shooting a flare at the Panathinaikos team and staff. Holy shitkos....
Survival Of The Fastest At Citi Field, As Man Robs Kid Of Foul Ball
We're finding it hard not to sympathize with the guy on this one, because we've never caught a ball of our own. Still, we're always up for a public shaming....
Hope You've Already Had Lunch: A Blood Week <em>Blood Writes</em> Gallery To Close Out Blood Week
To end Blood Week, here is a gallery of some of the best Blood Writes we had left in the ol' inbox. All sic'd. And sick. You've been warned....
The Hidden Menace That Is The Scrotal Hydrocele
I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying....
Rotten Potato Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Minor Leaguer Incites Bench-Clearing Brawl In Middle Of Home Run Trot
The website that tracks the slowest HR trots may have found a new record that might never be broken. It is definitely much harder to finish your stroll around the bases when you're being attacked by the other team....
Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....
Coach Loses World Series Ring After "Messing Around" With Two Women Of Ill Repute
Pat Daneker, pitching coach of the Staten Island Yankees, lost the ring, a team-issued cell phone, and the contents of his wallet after an alcohol-fueled evening with two women in Tampa. It's the Yankee way....
The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...
Armando Galarraga Absolutely Robbed Of A Perfect Game By Umpire's Bad Call
Detroit's Armando Galarraga just threw the 21st perfect game in Major League history and the second one this week. Unfortunately, umpire Jim Joyce turned the 27th out into a infield hit with a horrendously botched call. (UPDATE: Joyce has apologized.)...
Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...
Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...
Marlins Invite You To Attend Game That Already Happened
Florida is selling unused tickets to Roy Halladay's perfect game (at face value) which means they've finally figured out how to make losing more profitable than winning. They've also announced that June is "No-Hitter Month" at Sun Life Stadium! [MLB.com]...
Blood Writes: This Man's Pinky Is Falling Off His Hand
This was a friend's pinky after sliding headfirst and hooking it on 3rd base. Sorry about the clarity, but that's about as clear as I want it to b — Matt W....
Blood Writes: Man Slides Into Third And Winds Up Wearing A Maxi Pad
Throughout Blood Week, we'll be featuring gruesome submissions from readers. Like this one from Brad about a softball game gone very wrong. Moderately disgusting leg injury after the jump....
The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...
Weekend Winner: The 215
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the 215 area code, home of baseball's most recent perfect game. And to think: They did it all without involving A-Rod or finger tattoos!...
Halladay's Perfect Game Was No Surprise To One Nostradamus
One Phillies fan predicted this, and counted down each batter — starting before Halladay even took the mound. Can we retire the concept of jinxes yet?...