all Page 2013 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Curious Case Of Longhorn Girl
Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans?...

Your Inaugural A*HOLE BOSS DIGEST
Welcome to Asshole Boss digest, where we regale you, the Deadspin reader, with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses you've ever worked under. Off we go....

Meanwhile, Florida State Oh So Quietly Vacates A Bunch Of Bobby Bowden's Victories
FSU, in a fit of Super Bowl Sunday housecleaning, throws out 12 football victories, 22 men's basketball victories, a track championship, some old Sam Cassell photos, and a bunch of expired Foot Locker coupons. [Orlando Sentinel, Daily Fix]...

A Catalog Of The Latest In Telestrator Dong
Our sportscasters continue to adorn our televisions with glowing penises. We will continue to feature their artwork....

Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Presenting The Single Worst Piece Of Sports Journalism From Super Bowl XLIV
The headline on ESPN.com is "Papa John's founder John Schnatter feeds me pizza." Then things get really stupid....

Thank The Lord This Crimson Tide Fan Left His Head-Gear At Home
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....

There’s More Than One Way To Fill A Prophylactic! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....

Demar Dorsey A Perfect Fit For UM
RichRod yesterday: "There's nobody on this football team that we've signed that has a felony conviction. There's nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction." Today: Dorsey burglarized two homes in one day in 2007. [Freep]...

One Tiger Fling Not Too Happy With Her Balls
Those "Tail of the Tiger" golf balls are in poor taste, sure, but do they advocate domestic violence? That's the stance of Tiger's porn star, and — of course — Gloria Allred....

Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...

The Golden Age Of The Super Bowl. Your SUPERBOWLOROO
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

'Remember The Titans' School Forgets How To Count
The Virginia school that inspired the movie has forfeited all their wins because their two star players happened to already complete their four years of high school. Nothing a rousing Denzel speech can't fix. [Connection Newspapers]...

Ma-Bu-Li In China: A Gallery
You read Anthony Tao's story about Stephon Marbury earlier today. The photos he took during his time on Marbury's trail offer further insight into the weirdness of the Lone Wolf's stint in the Chinese Basketball Association. With commentary by Tao....

Ball-Biting Incident Rocks Cricket To Its Juicy Core
Pakistan's captain was caught attempting to doctor a ball by biting it like an apple during a match against Australia. It's the sport's worst ball-related controversy since the Vaseline incident of 1976, which is just....ok, they're messing with us, right?...

The Lone Wolf Goes To China
Stephon Marbury is now a point guard for the Brave Dragons of Shanxi, where writer Anthony Tao finds Ma-Bu-Li trying to preserve his star among the coal heaps of a modern Chinese city....