all Page 2014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Money Changers Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence - quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose - that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Deadspin I-Team: Is This John Clayton's Ponytail?
Reader Brad alerts us to this video, in which one can discern what appears to be the fabled and disputed ponytail of John Clayton, bobbing up and down. Look at the evidence. I-Team's verdict: ponytail. We await comment from ESPN....

Fire Woman, YOU’RE TO BLAME! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Florida Marlins: The Team That Time Forgot
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Florida Marlins....

Great Moments In Public Urination Journalism
Villanova's junior guard Corey Stokes got busted for peeing in public, occasioning this line: "Stokes was urinating between two parked cars at about 3 a.m. while surrounded by several teammates." Jay Wright should be proud. That's real teamwork. [ZagsBlog]...

Sexbots, Virginity, And A Heartwarming Joe Biden Poop Story
I have a serious recurring problem. Once a month or so, I will walk into a door before I have opened it. I go to a door, I grab the knob, and I begin pushing the door in before I have begun twisting the knob. Sometimes, I'll give the door full-on shoulder check before I have to back off, twist the k...

Oakland Athletics: Meet Your Montreal Expos
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Oakland Athletics....

Slightly Racist Mascot To Be Replaced With Cult Favorite Squid Monster From Space?
The campaign is underway to name Admiral Ackbar, of "It's a trap!" fame, the new mascot at Ole Miss. Assuming Ole Miss's endowment is enough to cover George Lucas's licensing fees. [AJC]...

Darrent Williams Trial Might Explain A Lot About Brandon Marshall
The murder trial of the man accused of shooting Denver Bronco Darrent Williams began yesterday and has already revealed new details of the night of his death—including some that might explain why Brandon Marshall hates Denver so much....

Houston Astros: The Charming Incompetence Of Ed Wade
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Houston Astros....

Howard Stern Prank Caller Fools ESPN
SportsCenter was so thrilled to get "Brian Westbrook" on the phone, they skipped a very important step: making sure it was actually Westbrook, and not a Stern disciple expressing his desire to worship Stern's prostate....

Birth, Peanut Butter, And Assorted Condiments
My kid has become obsessed with flashlights, which makes sense because I've NEVER stopped enjoying playing with flashlights. Seriously, flashlights are awesome. You can shine them directly in people's eyes. You can point them at the wall and shake them to make cool patterns. LOOK! A CIRCLE OF LIGHT!...

Cleveland Indians: God Save The Fans
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cleveland Indians....

A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST: Sexual Harassment And 9/11 Edition!
Welcome to Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Email me your asshole boss story here....

NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming
A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality....

Los Angeles Dodgers: Back To The Future
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Los Angeles Dodgers....

DDate.com - The Leading Douchebag Singles Network
Now, remind me again, which aspect of this ad for a dating website was supposed to entice women? Was it the sideways pseudo-gang sign? The fact that he's at Cowboys Stadium, so clearly a fan? Or the t-shirt insinuating rape?...

Oregon Pretty Much Imploding Before Our Very Eyes (UPDATE)
Oregon football is turning into an outlaw program right in front of us. But one Ducks senior has had just about enough of you people making a big deal of it. You "white people," he means....

Jim Harbaugh Knows What The Kids Like
First of all, I'm shocked to find out that they only split two years ago, instead of ten. Jim, you could probably hire them to cut the grass at Stanford Stadium before they play their set. [Twitter]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Seduced By Ebersol, Produced By Arledge, Fish, Near-Death Psychedelia
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....