all Page 2017 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....

Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....

There’s More Than One Way To Fill A Prophylactic! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....

Demar Dorsey A Perfect Fit For UM
RichRod yesterday: "There's nobody on this football team that we've signed that has a felony conviction. There's nobody on this football team we signed that has a misdemeanor conviction." Today: Dorsey burglarized two homes in one day in 2007. [Freep]...

One Tiger Fling Not Too Happy With Her Balls
Those "Tail of the Tiger" golf balls are in poor taste, sure, but do they advocate domestic violence? That's the stance of Tiger's porn star, and — of course — Gloria Allred....

Satan, For One, Cares About The Pro Bowl
The devil wants to destroy successful believers, Cowboys o-lineman Leonard Davis tells BPSports.net. That means you, Christian Pro Bowlers! "Satan is definitely on the prowl," Davis says. "He wants to see us fail." [BPSports.net]...

The Golden Age Of The Super Bowl. Your SUPERBOWLOROO
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

'Remember The Titans' School Forgets How To Count
The Virginia school that inspired the movie has forfeited all their wins because their two star players happened to already complete their four years of high school. Nothing a rousing Denzel speech can't fix. [Connection Newspapers]...

Ma-Bu-Li In China: A Gallery
You read Anthony Tao's story about Stephon Marbury earlier today. The photos he took during his time on Marbury's trail offer further insight into the weirdness of the Lone Wolf's stint in the Chinese Basketball Association. With commentary by Tao....

Ball-Biting Incident Rocks Cricket To Its Juicy Core
Pakistan's captain was caught attempting to doctor a ball by biting it like an apple during a match against Australia. It's the sport's worst ball-related controversy since the Vaseline incident of 1976, which is just....ok, they're messing with us, right?...

The Lone Wolf Goes To China
Stephon Marbury is now a point guard for the Brave Dragons of Shanxi, where writer Anthony Tao finds Ma-Bu-Li trying to preserve his star among the coal heaps of a modern Chinese city....

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Meyer-To-Cowboys Rumor Too Absurd Not To Print
Some unnamed SEC coaches have been warning recruits that Urban Meyer will be ditching UF for the Dallas Cowboys. Because nothing's better for someone with heart and stress problems than the botoxed face of death staring you down. [Orlando Sentinel]...

When A Giant Bear Suit Is His Only Home
The surest sign this recession has touched everything we love: even our mascots are now homeless....

Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...

Coach Who (Accidentally) Nailed Girl In Face With Volleyball Forced To Apologize Again
This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday....

Why Get Married? Here’s Why. Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering sexy 80's videos, weighing things, sneezing, Mini Wheats, and more....

Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...