all Page 2019 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rick Reilly®, Glimpsed In The Wild
Mildly terrifying Deadspin I-Team operative Alex captured the ESPN LOLumnist as he foraged in the lower bowl of Denver's Pepsi Center. Note the distinctive outerwear. "Would have been better if it was a vindaloo and a southern cross," Alex writes....
So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 2: Lurch Dunks On Our Heads
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 11-3. Tournament prospects: Goodish....
Introducing Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
I once had a friend named Mark (not his real name) who was trying to have sex with a girl while he was blind drunk. He did not end up succeeding. Here is the short story of why....
Craig James Has Picked An Excellent Time To Get Into Politics
James, the ESPN analyst who has not yet pissed off the entire state of Texas, is apparently eyeing Kay Bailey Hutchison's seat in the Senate. Don't laugh. The man has plenty of experience appealing to the largess of wealthy donors....
USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...
Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....
Presenting The Absolute Worst Hall Of Fame Voter (Update)
In all the foofaraw over the HOF elections, one voter stands above the rest in terms of sheer ineptitude and self-promotion. Let's ridicule them! But first, the runners up:...
We Wanted A Game; We Got A Circus
Trick plays, failed trick plays, and a freshman QB thrust into the spotlight. Let's take a look at the storylines and screengrabs of the night....
Robbie Alomar Can Only Think Of One Reason He's Not In The Hall Yet
"His first phone call was to umpire John Hirschbeck, to reassure him there was no hard feelings over the spitting incident and he in no way felt Hirschbeck was responsible." Yeah, no shit the spittee's not responsible. [Stalking Steve Phillips]...
Mike Leach Saga Slowly Morphing Into An Outtake From <em>Rio Bravo</em>
Chris Level of RedRaiderSports.com reports that Mike Leach is filing a motion in his lawsuit against Texas Tech, and "the crowd at the courthouse is growing by the minute." [@ChrisLevel]...
Today In TMZish Sports: Gay-Baiting Tiger, Laser-Tagging John Fox, And A Spottswood For A-Rod
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....
Tony La Russa Is Screwing With Baseball Writers' Heads
Self-important blowhard manager loosely speculating about pinch-hitting Mark McGwire this season vs. self-important blowhard media collective accusing him of dicking around with Mark McGwire's Hall of Fame clock: Who ya got? [NYDN]...
Children Will Crush Your Playoff Dreams. The Wild Card Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
"I Really Have Nothing To Say": 13 Years Of Sad Bert Blyleven Reactions
Every year, poor Bert Blyleven falls short of Cooperstown, and every year, he's asked how it feels. Looking back on 13 years of his glum responses is almost heartbreaking, like watching a frown in slow motion....
Star Spitting Is Worst Thing To Happen In Dallas Since Kennedy Assassination
An Eagles fan/employee "defiled" Cowboys Stadium with a vicious (and viscous) attack on the city of Dallas, football fans, and basic human decency. He spit on the star at midfield. Twice. Hey, that artificial turf is expensive to steam clean!...
In Other Ex-NFLer Car-Related Legal Trouble...
After his dealership defaulted, Deuce McAllister is countersuing, claiming Nissan's finance division should have known he "was a football player who was inexperienced in the car business." Deuce, I'm pretty sure that's why they sold you the dealership. [AP]...
The Alleged Homosexuality Of An Atlanta Falcons Player And Other Related Matters (UPDATE)
So most of today was spent talking on the phone to homosexuals or about homosexual activities. This is not a new Wednesday feature. However, when the sports world sashays in this direction, it's our duty to accompany it....
BBWAA Spits In Alomar's Face, Elects Andre Dawson
The Hawk and his sweet-ass theme song are in the Hall of Fame. Greatest second baseman of the last 30 years? Never heard of him. [MSF/MLB]...
Alabama Fans Threaten Weatherman, God Over Snowstorm
Tomorrow night's forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It's a Southern TV meteorologist's wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates....
Bruce Pearls Sticks Gun Foot In Mouth
Four players suspended after being caught with handguns? No problem, says Pearl. "We still have got weapons." [Kentucky Sports Radio]...