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The Toughest Fantasy Football Defeat Of All
Fidelity Investments recently fired four employees for organizing fantasy football leagues, because investment bankers have very strict rules about only gambling with other people's money. [Star-Telegram, via Yahoo; photo via]...

South Florida Player's Brother: "Jim Leavitt Is Not A Very Nice Man"
The South Florida Slapping Saga has taken another confusing family turn as the brother of the walk-on allegedly hit by coach Jim Leavitt has stepped into the fray to defend his sibling and confirm what his father hastily denied yesterday....

Big Ten Considers Desperate Plea For Attention
The Big Ten is sad because no one pays attention to it after Thanksgiving, so it wants to add a new school and rebuild its entire organizational structure to play one extra football game. I have a better solution....

Mailbag: Getting Old Blows
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering belly buttons, nude modeling, iced poops, and dick pinching....

Dad Now Says South Florida Coach Didn't Slap His Kid After All
Leavitt, who seemed to duck the issue when questioned about it by Fanhouse, has since vehemently denied the allegation that he struck sophomore Joel Miller during a halftime rant this season. Fanhouse claimed that five witness confirmed the incident, in addition to Miller's father, who gave one of t...

Texas Professors See Mack Brown Rolling, They Hating
An unofficial resolution passed by Texas' Faculty Council declares the football coach's $5 million pay package to be "unseemly and inappropriate." Unfortunately, he couldn't hear them as he was trapped under a suitcase full of $50 bills. [Austin American-Statesman]...

Missouri Basketball Players Say Cheerleader Beatdown Was Self-Defense
Twist! The two Lady Tiger hoops players accused of roughing up a male cheerleader say that they did get physical with him, but only after he G-O-T A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E with their other female friend....

South Florida Coach Allegedly Slapped Player
According to a report on Fanhouse, South Florida football coach Jim Leavitt decided to pepper a recent halftime speech with a little choking and a few well placed shots to the face. Hey, they did win the game....

And It Appears The Phillies Are Close To Landing Roy Halladay
WHAT? So confused. Three-way trade with Seattle? Cliff Lee to Seattle? Roy Halladay to Phillies? Little people to Toronto? Somebody make some goddamn sense already. [Philly.com]...

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

3-D Broadcast Fails To Win Over Crowd At Actual 3-D Game
Yesterday, in a stupendous moment of technological flimflammery, the infamously large HDTV that hangs over the field at Cowboys Stadium broadcast stunning 3-D images to the crowd....of the live three-dimensional football game taking place directly below it....

Missouri Basketball Players (Who Are Women) Beat Up Cheerleader (Who Isn't)
Much like their Kansas brethren, Missouri's athletic department is being torn asunder by intra-sports team strife. Only it's not the teams you usually expect, since we're talking about women's basketball and cheerleading. These kids do not compromise....

Randy Moss Wins the Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Randy Moss, who won the weekend by letting his teammates do the heavy lifting for him. Why should he put himself out?...

Wait Till He Finds Out About Mark Ingram
I have no explanation for this picture, but still ... what a gambler!...

Late Game Open Thread: A Whole Lot Of Yuck
Team That Makes Old Ladies Sad v. Team Run By A Sad Old Lady; Rejuvenated Vince Young v. Reanimated Kyle Boller; Holding Romos v. Litigious Merrimans, etc. #nflforums [NFL.com]...

Don't Root Against North Carolina On Their Home Court Or You Will Be Ousted By Roy Williams
Yesterday, scrappy Presbyterian College from Clinton, South Carolina waddled into the Dean Dome to get predictably stomped by the Tar Heels. That still didn't stop coach Roy Williams from tossing a Blue Hose fan for...yelling at his team during free-throws....

Please Let Ryan Howard Drink In Peace
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ndamukong Suh Gives People A Reason To Care About The Heisman
Nebraska's defensive tackle is the new sentimental favorite to win the Heisman Trophy, a famous award given annually by the media to whichever name they've written over and over again in their Hello Kitty diary....

All College Football Games To Be Settled By White Rapper Battles (Update!)
Not to be outdone by the only two guys in Iowa who listen to rap music, Georgia Tech fans would like to remind you about their opponents in the Orange Bowl of Awkward "Hip Hop" Videos, The GTGs. Lose yourself.......

Sitters Vs. Standers – The Great Wipe Hope
Today, we bring you a very special anthropological study that painstakingly details the bathroom finishing habits of the modern American male. Warning: things here are about to get a bit hairy....