all Page 2028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

LAST PICKLE IN THE JAR! Your Thanksgiving Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

In Amazing Coincidence, Two Michigan State Players Kicked Off Team
Junior Roderick Jenrette and sophomore Glenn Winston were dismissed from Michigan State's football team two days after unidentified football players were accused of beating up frat boys in a residence hall. Gee, you think it might be the same guys?...

Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...

PETA And Skynet Team Up To Take On U Of Georgia
Because nothing even remotely animal-related can happen without PETA getting involved, the animal rights organization is recommending that the recently deceased Uga VII be replaced with an animatronic bulldog. And this is how the robot war begins......

Monster 6-Year-Old Lays Opponents The F**k Out
There's always one football player who's bigger and faster than everyone else. In preps, it's infuriating. In college, it's awe-inspiring. But in Pop Warner football, it's hilarious and makes you revel in tiny children getting wrecked. [With Leather]...

Spartans Get Early Jump On Off-Season Distractions
Several Michigan State football players may have participated in a ski-mask wearing, face-punching group attack on a campus residence hall. I only have one question: Does this count against involuntary practice limits? [The State News]...

Deadspin Readers Are Watching You Bone
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering peeping toms, volume fights, virgin toilets, and more....

Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....

Last Night's Winner: Referee Jerome Boger
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NFL referee Jerome Boger, who must have had something riding on last night's game. Nobody likes Vince Young that much....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

Yale Football Coach Out-Crazies Bill Belichick
Since our nation wasted approximately 82 million man-hours of productivity last week arguing about that stupid fourth-and-two, it's a bit surprising that we the people aren't more enraged by Yale's Tom Williams for raising the stakes for bonehead coaches everywhere....

Ole Miss KKK Protest Goes Swimmingly
"Swimmingly" means "completely embarrassing for white power morons," correct? Then yes, it went "swimmingly." The KKK's hour-long protest against tolerance and common sense lasted about 10 minutes before the hooded wonders were booed off Mississippi's campus....

High Schooler Celebrates Meaningless Block With Trip To The Gun Show
This ridiculous Tecmo Bowl punt return is okay, but I'm really posting this for the goofball who blindsides a tackler, then flexes for his buddies while the play is still happening behind him. It's all about you, Anonymous Special Teamer....

Full Moon Over Chicago
Considering the flood of emails, you people are all about Devin Hester's ass. I'm not here to judge, so we present it in all its glory after the jump....

The BCS Has Its Day In Court Of Public Opinion
The BCS hired a new PR firm, and their first move was to create an official BCS Twitter. This is one case where interacting with the fans is a bad idea, and they are being torn apart. It's gruesome. [@insidethebcs]...

Is Les Miles Lying Or Just Stupid?
"I don't know who called for the spike" is the new "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."...

The Fruit Of Chris Cris Collinsworth's Loins Is A Pretty Good Football Player
Austin Collinsworth, son of Bengals great/awkward commentator Cris Collinsworth, has won the Paul Hornung Award, given to the top high school football player in Kentucky. The question is, how is Austin with the fourteen to eighteen-year old-chicks? [The Cincinnati Enquirer]...

Early Game Open Thread: This Rivalry Has Gotten Cuddly
Today Michigan and OSU do their annual dance of the overcrowded football stadiums with yawning interest outside of I-75. Blame Rich-Rod. The Duke Benterns battle the Artist Formerly Known As Katrinas Of Miami. Isiah v. Tebow. [LMK]...

Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...

Ten Questions To Ask A Woman Before You Propose To Her
Okay, so we tackled the ladies' end of this topic last week. I think it's only fair we flip the script....