all Page 2246 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making your getaway in the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile ... • Soccer: Argentina beats U.S. 4-1, forces us to call cowboys "gauchos" from now on. • MLB: Mr. 3000, yep, that's Craig Biggio. But his BIG milestone is yet to come. • Golf: Park Place ... Wie, Webb flounder at U.S. Women'...
The Pirates Care Not For Your "Protest"
As anyone who has watched a Baltimore Orioles game in the last decade knows, fan protests never work. They're usually more of a boon for the radio station that sponsors them than anyone else. Not that it's a problem; they garner some publicity and allow a bunch more fans to leave a game early, all t...
"Hey, Guys! It's Oliver!"
Maybe we just couldn't muster up the incredible enthusiasm of these "baseball" "players."...
Chip And Dale Don't Like Your Looks And Would Prefer That You Leave
Once the vibrant and thriving center of the city, Downtown Disney has fallen on hard times. Crime is rampant, property values have plummeted and the area is ripe with decay. Witness Minnie Mouse, turning tricks at the seedy Disney Inn. Goofy has been arrested 17 times for aggressive panhandling. And...
How The "Mighty" Have Fallen
You might remember, almost three years ago, when the Arizona Diamondbacks hired former Met Wally Backman to be their manager before firing him when they discovered an old DUI arrest and his impending bankruptcy. It was a tough break, particularly when he had to take a job managing the South Georgia ...
Rainy And Dumb At Shea
Think about how, on a daily basis, the weather affects your life. Sure, it can be a pain to carry an umbrella on the way to the car, and maybe your mood as you glance out the window from your anonymous, soulless cubicle on the fourth floor. But you can deal with it; it's mostly just something to tal...
Water Covers 70 Percent Of The Earth's Surface; Manny Covers The Rest
Using his uncanny speed and catlike reflexes, Manny Ramirez could probably patrol the entire outfield by himself if he wanted to. But that would probably just dishearten the other two guys and cause team dissension, so he restricts himself to left. In fact, like Clark Kent, Manny has to tone it down...
Old Men, Slingin' Hash
A fun night in the world of baseball this evening: There are a whopping seven pitchers starting tonight who are older than 40 years old....
Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...
Just Another Anonymous Night At The Ballpark
In the last eight years, we've seen way too many baseball games. We've seen a World Series winner (woo!), we've seen a freaking typhoon and we've seen Joe McEwing hit home runs for two different teams. (He's still in the Red Sox minor league system, by the way.)...
Boog Powell Would Never Had Stood For This
We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Cond...
The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....