America Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Just Love This Juicero Story So Much
Of all the amazing sentences and couplets and paragraphs in this wonderful Bloomberg story about the troubles of a juice and juice-press technology company called Juicero Inc., I think the following is my favorite:...
Clippers Owner Acquires Basic Grasp Of Political Economy For $10 Million
Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is one of the richest men in the United States, with an estimated net worth north of $27 billion. He was one of the very first Microsoft employees, and he worked as the company’s CEO for 14 years before stepping down and buying the Clippers in 2014. As an ultra-rich, rec...
The Corporation Does Not Always Have To Win
As you’ve surely* seen by now, the big story of the day has to do with viral videos of some confusing group of United Airlines security and/or cops—it doesn’t matter, they’re all The Man—violently dragging a ticketed passenger out of his seat and off an overbooked Sunday flight. A computer had rand...
We're The Only Ones Who Can Stop This War
A couple of weeks ago, despite their party controlling the entire legislative pipeline, the Republicans’ effort to unravel and replace the Affordable Care Act—a movement-defining initiative they’d been promising for over seven years—collapsed after a mere 17 days, without ever coming up for a formal...
Arkansas Fans No Longer Allowed To Bring Guns Into Stadiums
Despite the best efforts of the NRA, gun owners in Arkansas will not be allowed to bring their concealed handguns to Razorbacks football games this year. The Arkansas House of Representatives passed SB 724 this afternoon with a 71-20 vote. The vote came a week after Governor Asa Hutchinson signed HB...
What Does Mike Pence Think Happens At Restaurants?<em></em><em></em>
Here is a deeply weird thing:...
Wait, Let's Clown These Scrub-Ass Doofuses Some More
Seventeen days. That’s how much stamina flinty-eyed deal master Donald Trump, sober policy knower Paul Ryan, and all the Republican Party had for a health care overhaul they’d been promising for seven years, before the work of negotiating amongst themselves overwhelmed them and they retired to their...
![Education Secretary DeVos: [Sound Of Me Spitting Out Coffee, Falling Out Of Chair]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/uitlf1tpu0tvsgmckaof.jpg)
Education Secretary DeVos: [Sound Of Me Spitting Out Coffee, Falling Out Of Chair]
Historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) are “real pioneers when it comes to school choice,” according to a statement by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos. Also, I’m going to pull my head off and punt it into a bog....
Trump Makes Thirsty Business Asshole Tell Flattering Golf Story
Here’s Day-Glo leatherette Cialis tote Donald Trump, in a meeting with various manufacturing executive types, prodding General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt to tell the story of the time Trump boasted about being a rich person who plays golf (probably true) and then hit a hole-in-one on his own golf c...
Trump Called A Press Conference Because The Tweets Weren't Working
Here is a ... well, here is something:...
A President You Can Drink Bleach With
This seems a good moment to revisit “He seems like he’d be a good guy to have a beer with,” the shorthand explanation for the rank anti-intellectualism that put George W. Bush in the White House 17 years ago and later flowered, in our somehow even dumber present, into “Uh actually stupid idiots are ...
Donald Trump Stunned To Learn Presidency Is An Actual Job, His First
Maybe you’d better sit down for this one. According to a report by Politico, corned-beef dirigible Donald Trump, a skill-free inheritance baby with a virtually unbroken lifelong track record of incompetence and failure, has found that running the United States government is a tougher job than lendin...
Resist.
Yes, wear a shirt with a slogan on it. Yes, put a bumper sticker on your car. Yes, flood your social media feed with your outrage. Fine. All of those are fine, and necessary, and good....
Trump's Greatest Allies Are Craven Shithead <i>Serious Journalists</i> Like This Guy
First, a quick recap....
Craven <i>WaPo </i>Reporters Praise Trump's Press Secretary For Lying With More Composure This Time
Get a load of these sorry quisling motherfuckers....
How "Fake News" Became Meaningless
Let’s talk about fake news. Are you excited? I am! (Actually I’m not. That claim was fake news.)...
Craven Reporters Scold BuzzFeed For Reporting News<em></em>
As you’re likely aware by now, yesterday evening BuzzFeed published a dossier of allegations about Donald Trump, including the instantly unforgettable description of a hotel-room piss party with Russian prostitutes. This set the internet on fire for much of last night and dominated a bizarre press c...
What Does The U.S. Department Of Energy Do?
The Department of Energy (DOE) is a Cabinet-level department in the United States government, created in 1977. It is a descendant of—and consolidates the functions of—several predecessor agencies, among them the Energy Research and Development Administration (ERDA), which was itself a descendant of ...
Fuck Everything And Blame Everyone
Blame white people. Blame white men in particular, but reserve plenty of blame for white women. Blame old people, too. Blame rich people, as always. Blame the public at large for Donald fucking Trump getting more votes than Donald Duck. Democracy enacts the will of the public; this is what the publi...
AP: Donald Trump Will Be The President Of The United States Of America
Today Americans selected Donald Trump—a white-supremacist sexual predator with open contempt for the rule of law, who campaigned on promises to remove First Amendment protections from journalists, punish women who receive abortions, ban Muslims from entering the country, prosecute his opponent, depo...