and Page 1031 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....

Here's A Picture Of Jonah Hill As Paul De Podesta On The Set Of <em>Moneyball</em>
The Michael-Lewis-book-turned-definition-of-production-problems finally started shooting. See for yourself how the baffling casting choice will look on the silver screen. It's really a shame Sam Kinison wasn't available to play the ghost of Connie Mack. [The appropriately named Accidental Sexiness,...

The Truth About John Terry And Steven Gerrard Revealed
As pointed out many times, The Spoiler is very well connected, with a mob of secret squirrels all over the country, listening through boardroom walls with mini-pint jugs pressed to their ears, smoking endless cigarellos....

Tarp Surfing Is Neat, Pointless
I suppose skateboarding gets boring after a while—one can kickflip only so many times—so these young men deserve some credit for creativity. But why two levels of pretend surfing? That said, this should happen during rain delays. [Kottke]...

Arizona Lady Emigrates Illegally From Shirt
Maybe Arizona is the lawless hellhole Jan Brewer's made it out to be, after all. Between the Nazis on the borders and the streets becoming sets for an ill-advised No Country For Old Men sequel, the citizens of Arizona now have to worry about the unpatrolled border of this lady's cleavage....

Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...

5 Reasons Toney/Couture Won't Settle The Boxing/MMA Debate
Next month at UFC 118, boxer James Toney will take on mixed martial artist Randy Couture, in a bout some are saying will decide which sport is tops. It will decide no such thing....

<em>Major League</em> Manager Dies
James Gammon—the manager from Major League and a lot of other stuff—died over the weekend after a long battle with cancer. Everybody smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds and talk like him in his honor. [Backstage]...

Dwyane Wade's World Trade Center Reference And Other Great Moments In 9/11 Sports Analogies
Dwyane Wade's questionable World Trade Center reference he gave to Fanhouse briefly set off hyper-sensitivity alarms everywhere, but it wasn't even that awful compared to some of the other ones we've seen recently....

Tour De France Rider Has Unrealistic Sportsmanship Expectations
Alberto Contador took the yellow jersey from Andy Schleck in today's Pyrenees stage. Noteworthy is the fact that Schleck is pissed that Contador — and the rest of the field — didn't stop and wait for him while he fixed his bike....

With No Further Ado, Buzz Bissinger Challenges Andy Reid as a Coach and Father (But Mostly as a Father)
When Buzz Bissinger smells blood, Buzz Bissinger attacks. You know this already. I just dig how it makes for quality after-school-rumble 140-character entertainment like it did today, when his old/new paper (the Philadelphia Inquirer) ran an above-the-A1-fold piece on how difficult having a couple ...

Tim McCarver: Yankees Front Office Takes After Nazi, Communist Propagandists
Tim McCarver apparently thinks there's a Yankees campaign to remove Joe Torre's Bronx contributions from the annals of history. So, in the fourth inning of Saturday's game against the Rays on Fox, he went all Tim Kampf on viewers....

Painting of Tiger Woods Vomiting
If you're a puke-play enthusiast/fetishist, you've probably already started panhandling for the $80 necessary to purchase this gem out of West Oakland....

Larry Johnson Prefers Arts to Sports (and Wilding to Arts)
Even athletes have to pay for shoving and spitting on women in da club, whether there's a bottle full of bub involved or not. Those offenses earned Larry Johnson 40 hours of community service at the Kansas City Police Athletic League where it was judicially presumed the Chief-turned-Redskin would h...

Hot New Trend Sweeping Through Suburban Chicago: Beating The Crap Out Of Mascots
Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the northwest suburbs of Chicago—is to beat up a mascot at an amusement park. Random assault fever—catch it!...

In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....

Landon Donvan Staying In Los Angeles Is Good For Whom, Exactly?
The MLS Commissioner said Donovan won't be transferred for the 3-plus years remaining on his Galaxy contract. Some people aren't happy, but to that MLS says, who cares what you want?...

Breaking: Man Customizes Replica Jersey To Make Lewd Joke
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....

Headbutt Clears Way For Tour De France Stage Win
Mark Cavendish took today's 11th stage, thanks to some well-timed headbutts from teammate Mark Renshaw. Renshaw became the first rider kicked out of the Tour, but it was totally worth it....